Reid Wins Second Task, Duarte And Stangeland’s Dangerous Distraction, And What’s Next?
Writes gossip correspondent Philomena Pest
Ah yes, the triumph of a rook, DARLING, in this unravelling inferno-game of chess, that continues to be beaten, squashed and mastered by thirteen-year-old Elliot Reid, who’s temper tantrums have proven to be less of a burden and more of a ducat to the cup – a cup that is surely going to be his – as this ambitious emerald-housed student secures his second victory in what is becoming this centuries most scandal-filled Triwizard Tournament to date.
But who cares about underwater creatures in a wet and tricky task, when your biggest fish to fry is that of your precarious love-triangle. Or quadrangle. Or quadrilateral. Or is it a trapezoid, darling? Who cares! It’s a chiffon of outrageous love, and one that I would wear in a heartbeat! Whether it’s the chaotic and sparring Lars Stangeland, his greatest love-competition and enemy Magnus Laufreyn, or her doting handful of other consorts from across the three schools, Duarte is more than distracted. It’s better than scandalous, darling, it’s monstrous… and I love it!
*a smoky laugh emits from the column*
But how long can the Rook’s revelling, or Duarte and Stangeland’s love-rhombus go on, before reality sinks its teeth in, and draws out the bloody, horrifying reality of what’s to come next, darlings. Death. And then some. Or at least, frostbite, darlings, as whispers treacle through that it will likely involve racing and stormy weather conditions. Get your umbrellas, ladies! Or your brooms, or winged horses, or illegal flying chariots, or whatever it takes! But most importantly, bring your gossip, and I’ll do the rest! Mwah!