<This article was submitted anonymously, found not long after an older boy, who looked to be around 16 or 17, was seen exiting the Owl Post offices.>
Correctional Bonding: Goon for “Waste of Time”
I, like many other students yesterday, was in attendance when we were called to Madam Dorchester’s so called “correctional bonding”. Given her other public appearances, it clearly wasn’t going to be pleasant, but what was even worse was how utterly pointless it was. Madam Dorchester, who was supposed to have come to Hogwarts to rescue us from our poor grades and lewd behaviour, decided to dedicate an hour of time that might have been better spent studying, to instead have us… march in a giant circle around the Clocktower courtyard.
That’s right, fellow students, that’s the best they could come up with… marching around the fountain for an hour nonstop, being pelted by the cold rain, and I’m not sure what’s worse… the colossal waste of time or that this was the most creative punishment they could come up with. Don’t get me wrong, there are things at Hogwarts that need to change, but is this the best way to achieve that? To issue a blanket punishment to all students, many of whom likely don’t even know what (if anything) they’re being punished for? And all as an overreaction to some colourful posters that have been popping up around the school?
For those who haven’t noticed, some unknown rebel has taken to putting up anti-Dorchester posters around the school, the latest of which depicted just such a scenario, and this latest punishment seems to be an attempt to offer up a sense of ‘poetic retribution’, as it were, but aside from saddling students with piles of soaked clothing and some slightly more muscular calves, was anything truly accomplished?
Though I am sure this will fall upon deaf ears on both sides, I will echo a plea made by our fearless editor several times before; your acts of open rebellion, while noble, only hurt yourselves. Every moment spent on punishing us is a moment taken away from our educations, the reason we’re all here. And to Madam Dorchester, a plea, and a warning: the more you tighten your grip, the more students will slip through your fingers. Meet the students halfway.
[cassie loves this article. Can we use jesma’s poster for article photo?-cass]