Professor Marron Caldwell
Article by Ash Lee
I’m writing this one second even though I did it first since I had more notes. It’s going to be a bit less in order than my last one since the professor had his first class as an ‘ask me anything’ thing. BUT we got asked a question back. I’ll skip over those bits since this article is about him and most of the answers that were interesting probably ended up in rumours or people forgot right after they were said with all the other questions going around.
I DID do an interview with him after and tried to not ask the same stuff twice so I’ll try and put it in an order that makes sense. I put the stuff I asked him after the stuff from class, so if you were in class and NOT seeing how you could fold your papers up to make them easiest to throw, the questions I asked him start near the middle. Unfortunately, I did his interview BEFORE all the rumours went out, so I got to ask the other Caldwells about specific ones but not him.
First off, he started class with telling Lex Ashworth that the stack of books he was sitting on, that was probably 3 or 4 Timmy’s high, was something he would have to put back in the EXACT order if he knocked it over. He had out treats and was dressed like a pirate.
My housemate Elodie asked this one. “What you are wearing, Professor… I have seen pictures in historical paintings of muggles wearing such things. Like a ship captain or…erm…pirate captain? Did you do any of that before becoming a professor?”
I believe these are called clothes, Elodie. I have never been a pirate, although I have plundered many a booty in my years. Do you enjoy pirates Elodie? Perhaps some of those plays with Mister Johnny Deep (yes he said DEEP)
Johnny DEPP is a from a fictional set of movies (kind of like plays) about pirates. I had to owl my cousin to find out that bit.
Then, someone else asked why muggle studies. I kind of lost track of names not long after class started since I was trying harder to get the words than the who said them bit. So if you don’t see them here and you asked the questions, sorry.
I find muggles fascinating. They have managed to do nearly all we do and without magic. They are very inventive people. I fell in love with them during my years here and when I left school joined the ministry to work with them.
This is another one from class from Isbri, Elodie’s twin. “I was wondering since the Muggle world is all around us and there is a certain amount of mixing of the communities. If you have a hardest experience you have had to deal with that you would like to share.”
I have not had a hard time with muggles. Like I said they fascinate me. I do admit there are times when I come across a muggle device that confounds me. I know I spent an hour trying to figure out how to work a vending machine once. The blasted thing ate 80 knuts before I realized it needed muggle money.
This bit was at the end of class but kind of fits better here I think?
Both of my husbands are wizards. I simply fell in love in this very class. I do think young wixen should learn more of muggles so that we can grow a better relationship with them in the future. Perhaps even some day we will not have to hide who and what we are.
He said his house when he was at Hogwarts was Griffindor and then something pretty unexpected.
My syllabus is currently being passed out among you. Read it, trash it, make paper airplanes out of them. I have been told they make excellent fire starters as well.
This was a later question but I’m putting it here. “What is the last thing that you set on fire? Do you have a habit of setting things on fire? Are we, in this class, in danger of being surrounded a blazing inferno at any moment?”
The last thing I caught fire was the wood in our room’s hearth. As for habit, well I am in charge of lighting he various fire in our home, so I would have to say, oui. I donot think we are in danger of being in a blazing inferno though. Course this is Hogwarts so there is always a chance.
Fire was asked about again a while later so I’m putting this bit here There was a mention of safety protocols and accidental deaths, though I’m not sure exactly what that had to do with class and was said in a way that kind of confused me some, so I might have gotten some of the question not quite right.
Well it is, and with as many fire must bit lit in the fireplaces around this castle it is a good thing to note. Besides, one never knows when one will be caught outside school after hours and need to build a fire to keep warm.
This is another question from class, I think it was Jamie? “Uhm…. you keep using ‘oui’ are you french? Or from a french speaking country? Or do you just like the language so you use it?”
My parents were French, they spoke nothing but the language at home so I have picked it up. Although I do find it a very lovely language, no?
He said he only has one rule…
Rules are horrible, awful things, but we must have some. Actually I have just one main rule in my class. The golden rule. Do unto others as you would have done to you. This means if you wish for me or the others in this class to respect you, you will also show respect. I will not stop you from whispering to your mates, but if you miss hearing something that is on you and I will not repeat it.
The first question about the syllabus was about muggle games and entertainment. Toby asked but it was too fast to get his exact words. Anyways, there’s something called pinball where there is this sloped thing where a ball drops and hits these pins and other things and you use a button on each side to try and stop it from hitting the hole at the bottom, it uses electricity to tell which things the ball touches to keep score but maybe it’s something that can be done without that bit? Guess we will find out.
I will do my best o have the various items mentioned when I can fit them in the room. As for playing them, well electronics have a hard time working in Hogwarts. I will discuss pinball and games like that in one of the lower sections under entertainment. That one is specifically for the kind played in homes on Tee-Vees and Com-Poo-Tours. As for comics, you are welcome to write about which ever you like. My lecture will mainly be focused on the DC and Marvel universes though.
Comic books are fictional stories but are mostly pictures with words that characters say written near them instead of regular books where they describe stuff for multiple pages for what things look like. There are ‘super heroes’ which have magic powers that aren’t from wands or brooms, there aren’t as many as the spells we learn at school. The ‘universes’ that he mentions are different fantasy worlds and usually the characters stay in their own ones rather than meet each other.
Reese asked “Do you like X-Men? Y’know the comic. And…and who’s your favorite if ya do like ’em?”
I do enjoy x-men, Reese, however I am more of a fan of Iron Man. I have been told I look a lot like Tony Stark.
My question in class was “Do you prefer apples or windows? Is that the same for all tech and do you miss the internet when you are here or not really use it when you aren’t?” Those are brand names of computers. And the internet is kind of like a library but a LOT better since there are movies and pictures, some of them move like paintings, and anyone can add to it and send messages and talk to other people as if they were in the same room and see what’s behind them and stuff. I’m not sure if he was kidding or not with his answer or maybe it didn’t make sense without saying it was specifically about computers?
I prefer apples, windows are so hard to eat ma cheri. As for the Inter-Net I do not miss it. It is a useful and delightful muggle tool, but I have more fun researching things in a more practical manner.
He seemed to know a bit about the internet though since he said this bit after people started talking about it. I’m not sure if he’s the type to like cats or just like others who like to watch cats do the stuff cats like to do.
Ah, oui, the Tube of You. Some delightful cat videos on there.
This is what he said as class ended.
You may of course send me an owl if you want. I do love writing back.
I’m going to put this bit from the interview at the end since I’m pretty sure it’ll be easier than going back and forth between stuff I asked when I was alone with him and stuff others asked during class.
The first bit I asked was about taking a picture for the article and he asked……
Would you like me sitting. standing, pretending like I’m actually a professor?
He said it was a joke, so I asked, “Why did you decide to become a professor?”
I heard about the opening and thought it would be a delightful thing to come and share my passion with the young minds at this school and perhaps shape at least a couple for the future.
Since there are three of you, who decided first to come here?
I can’t recall which of us heard about the various opening first. I seem to recall it was all about the same time. I know we discussed it together and all agreed it would be a wonderful experience for us.
Do you each get your own room here or do you share one? What’s it like being married and stuff in the castle? Is it confusing when someone walks up to more than one of you and says something like ‘Can I talk to you for a moment Professor Caldwell?’
I previously worked at the Ministry in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee to be exact. We have one room we share. Which is how we like it. As for confusing, no. At least not for me. If a student walks up to us, we tend to go with who they are looking at. There has been some confusion among the students, but it is usually short lived.
What’s it like at home? Does other Professor Caldwell do the decorating since they do homemaking magic here? Do you have electricity or only magic?
Well, we live in Godric’s Hallow. We have some electricity. Kit did decorate although we all added our own various flares. I think, should anyone see our home, they would be able to tell that certain parts belong to which one of us. Like us, it is unique, but melds together in a perfect harmony.
Do you have any favourite muggle inventions around that you use a lot? Maybe an electric kettle or television or computer?
Oh, oui, I do so enjoy my record player. I just got a toaster which I am excited to use this weekend at breakfast. I have tried to convince Kit to allow me to get one of those muggle ice boxes, but as of yet have not managed to do so. I think next year I will buy Finn a weed whipper. He loves to do yard work you see.
Why do you not like coasters? Or is it just coasters under mugs? Other Professor Caldwell said you take them out from under mugs.
I believe Kit was pulling your leg ma cheri. Although I do, at times forget to put my mug on one. But I assure you it is completely on purpose, and only so Kit will fuss at me. He is quite adorable when he gets all flustered.
How many weddings did you have since there’s three of you? Who did most of the planning?
We had one wedding. Quite a lovely one I might add. Had I known you were going to ask I would have brought the pictures we had made. Kit did most of the planning, with a few opinions from Finn and myself.
I was going to ask Professor Kittredge Caldwell about the wedding too since he said he likes parties. So I wasn’t sure if you have one wedding for all of you or 3 weddings with 2 of you at a time or both of those so you could have 4 weddings.
There is very little we do in this world separately. It has been that way since we became friends in this very school. We are far better together than we are apart. Even when it comes to our classes. We teach them, but not long after we do we are finding the others to tell them how it went. I am sure Kit would delight in showing you our wedding album. Just be prepared for much gushing and there may be a few tears.”
Is it a lot different from when you were at school here?
I have always loved Hogwarts. It was my home for seven years, it is where I met the loves of my life. It hold a very special place in my heart. Coming back here feels like coming home again. Not much has changed, it rarely does here. So far I have enjoyed teaching. Looking out and seeing those bright, eager faces just makes me happy. But like I said before I love to share my passion, which is all things muggle. Well, one of them anyways.
What are your other passions? And what stuff do you like to do when you aren’t teaching?
Well when I was at Hogwarts I was captain of the dueling club. I played a bit of quidditch as well. When I’m not teaching I tend to be tinkering with my muggle items to see how they work, or shopping for new ones. Or I am just relaxing next to the fire listening to my records. Well that is when Fin will let me. There is usually some house chore that needs to be done. Kit keeps a very handy Honey Do list for us.
Do you only go into muggle shops or have you ever tried shopping on the internet?
I have tried online shopping. Although the whole Paypal, credit card thing confounds me. It is fun to look though. Plus if I go into muggle shops I get to see muggles. Observing them is a delightful past time. I enjoy being out and among them.
I mentioned that ordering using a computer is easier. They put the heavy stuff next to the door and muggle money doesn’t take up near as much space as coins and is light too. Paypal and credit cards are a way for shop keepers to transfer money from your bank account to theirs in the exact amount without anyone having to go directly there.
Weight doesn’t bother me. There is something very satisfying about doing things the manual way. A sense of accomplishment when you carry something heavy inside. Or the feel and smell of real money in your hand. It is just like books. Oui, it would be easier to store all these on a device, but then you would miss out on feeling the weight in your hand, smelling the pages or feeling them under your finger when you turn them. I am not saying such things at the Internet doesn’t have it’s place or convenience, but it should be a tool to help not replace the whole.
What do you want students to learn from you and your class?
Ah, that is a complicated answer ma cheri. I would hope that they would take away an appreciation of muggles and all they accomplished. But also the knowledge that while we can do nearly everything with magic, that we shouldn’t. For example..” (He gestured to the tea.) “I could have easily used magic to brew this. Instead I found joy in heating the water on a stove, pouring it over the tea and then carrying it to the table. I am sure many will dispute my thoughts on this. Why do it the hard way when magic is so simple. To which I ask this question. What does one do when they do not have their magic, or can not use it?
We talked for a bit, and I named off a few ways muggles do things with technology, including something that uses electricity to do the sweeping.
My point is this Ash, you should know how to do things. Even if you never have to, you should in case you do. Better to be prepared and never require it then need it and not know how. Many purebloods, such as myself have never done such, nor learned how. We know little or nothing about the muggle world and once it are like lost lambs. Hence the purpose of my class. But not only do I want them to learn, I want them to question, explore. Find out the what, the why and the how.”
What about the people who don’t see a need to learn how the muggle world works since they don’t think they will use the information or full on hate the idea of ever having to spend even a few hours with only muggle stuff?
Then I hope I can change their mind. I will do so with kindness and understanding, and an open mind. Many who come here thinking such a way do so because it was how they were taught. If you know nothing beyond what you have seen or heard your whole life, it can be hard to adjust to new ideas or things. If you are met with hate and scorn for your ideas, then you tend to fight fire with fire. So, instead when I am met with someone who thinks Muggle Studies is unneeded I find out why, and I do so with kindness. I do not judge them, because I do not wish to be judged. Recall my one rule for class Ash.”
It’s the Golden rule about treating others how you want to be treated. What if that doesn’t work though?
You’re right, not everyone is nice. But we shouldn’t assume someone isn’t nice just because they don’t believe like we do. Nor should we stoop to their level. If someone is hateful, or mean to you, don’t be hateful or mean back. Be kind, and if they continue or make yo uncomfortable, walk away. Only…and I very much stress that *Only* if you can’t walk away, do you look for another way. Hate and violence should *never* be the first option.
We kind of had a pretty long talk about what to do if there are questions that are hard to answer or things that are difficult to do, especially when you don’t even know enough about it to know where to start looking for answers.
Do not whine and bemoan your state, simply look for a solution. Help will be there for you to find. You just have to keep looking.”
Some believe we should use magic first, others do not. Not everyone will think the same, be it here or out in the world. You must find like minded people. Do not be afraid to go to students in other houses. We should work together, not apart.
The only dumb question is the one not asked. You asked, you didn’t get an answer. That did not mean to stop asking. That is why I’m telling you here and now, if this happens again, come ask me. I can not change what has happened. I can make sure it doesn’t again. If a prefect has issue with you coming to a professor to ask a question, that prefect can come speak to me about it. I will not let any student, in any house, regardless of where they come from, live a life of ignorance simply because one person do not wish to answer a question.
He told me a story and we were talking about not knowing the right answers and doing something the wrong way and how not everyone is so nice when someone gets something wrong because they don’t know how to do something.
No one is dumb ma cheri. Merely ignorant, and ignorance can be fixed with time, patience and understanding. Do not listen to these voices that call you dumb, the ones who seek to hold you back or push you down. Listen to the ones who will uplift you, support you, believe in you. There will be days when the bad ones seem much louder then the good, but that is the days you will have to strain to hear them. They’ll be there I promise.
There is no such thing as a bad house, or you being dumb. Just bad people who do bad things for whatever reason they have. I have known good Slytherins, and bad ones, I have met cowardly Gryffindors and brave ones. It’s not the house, it’s the person. Go and read the histories of the people from the houses and you will see. Not all fall into what so many think is the stereotype.
Soooooo…..I didn’t ask him what advice he’d give to students like I did the other two Caldwells. We had a long LONG LLLLOOONNNNGGGGGG talk though. So I put some of the advice from that here. This is what he said at the end of the interview, which is pretty much what he said at the end of class too.
If you have any question though, do not hesitate to come ask me or send me an owl. My door is always open to the students here, regardless of the matter they wish to talk about.
Pretty sure this is the Caldwell to ask if you have a bunch of questions. He did NOT say only questions about Muggle Studies. And he likes getting mail, so send him lots of owls and stuff.
This article will likely be the longest since there was a class that was questions about him AND an interview with him later. It’s NOT longer than the one before this one because he’s my favourite Professor Caldwell. It’s too early in the year to decide that anyways.
Probably best that people skip over saying which Professor Caldwell is their favourite, especially if you have more than one for classes or might have one next year or as a substitute professor for another class or something. Professor Finnian Caldwell has already substituted for Professor Kittredge Caldwell, and it’s barely halfway to winter break.