Broomsticks, bludgers, golden snitches. There’s no sport in the wizarding world as exciting as Quidditch! This week, we bring to you our year in review, spotlighting each team’s season, how well they did, and where they go from here! Our analysis goes deeper than just the standings, so a team with a worse record may be ranked higher than one with more wins!
The Contenders
The contenders are the cream of the crop, the top teams in the league! Though they may have slipped some this year, these are the teams you should have your eye on, whether for a bounce back season, or to surge their way into the annals of the elite!
Appleby Arrows
Record: 24-15
League Ranking: 4th (Previous Season: 6th)
Offensive Ranking: 6th
Defensive Ranking: 3rd
Last Match Played: Banchory Bangers 190 v 690 Appleby Arrows (W)
The Arrows experienced a slight resurgence, working their way to a top four finish this year, leaping up two spots. Though the Arrows were of course up to their usual tricks, we can’t attribute all of their success to their loose adherence to the rules. Rookie Anathema Nitt was a revelation at beater, pushing former starter Daphne Quinn to the bench, and her skill was undeniable, helping guide Appleby to being one of the league’s top defenses. Starting slow, but finishing strong, another year of off season work and seasoning for their younger players should see the Arrows as a contender next season.
Ballycastle Bats
Record: 19-19-1
League Ranking: 7th (Previous Season: 3rd)
Offensive Ranking: 5th
Defensive Ranking: 5th
Last Match Played: Ballycastle Bats 560 v 440 Puddlemere United (W)
A disappointing season for the middling Ballycastle Bats, who finish outside of the top six, despite boasting a top five unit both offensively and defensively. When things were going well, they went very well. The fan favourites often enjoyed running up the score against inferior competition. However, their lack of poise in close games led to a lost season, in large part due to self-inflicted wounds. The departure of talented beater Caryxander Mordushku, who many thought might be in line for captainship, seemed to drive the final nail into the Bats coffin, as they limped to finish with a .500 record. Improved team discipline and finding a suitable replacement for their star beater is their path back to contention next year.
Falmouth Falcons
Record: 20-19
League Ranking: 6th (Previous Season: 1st)
Offensive Ranking: 9th
Defensive Ranking: 7th
Last Match Played: Holyhead Harpies 260 v 270 Falmouth Falcons (W)
It was a tough season for last year’s champions, with the previously first place Falcons tumbling five spots, all the way to sixth. It was the league’s most precipitous drop this season and the Falcons worst finish in the past four years. When Falmouth lost this season, they tended to lose big, but in close games, their grit and championship mettle shone through, with them gutting out ugly wins. There’s no doubt it was an off year for the Falcons and their star beater, Adam Fletcher, but we expect a bounce back year for both, and combined with their talent and pedigree, a return to the top of the league could definitely be in the cards.
Holyhead Harpies
Record: 31-8
League Ranking: 1st (Previous Season: 2nd)
Offensive Ranking: 2nd
Defensive Ranking: 1st
Last Match Played: Wimbourne Wasps 670 v 700 Holyhead Harpies (W)
For the second time in three years, we offer our congratulations to the champion Holyhead Harpies! Talent rich at every position with top quality backups, the battle hardened Harpies rode the league’s stingiest defense to another top finish. Even the frequent absences of star chasers Vitrac, Parris, and De Luca and ace beater Bennett due to the World Cup couldn’t slow them down. The past four years, Holyhead has alternated between first and second place finishes and are quickly becoming the gold standard for success in the league. With their unique blend of talent, toughness, and flair, we expect another season of excellence next year.
Pride of Portree
Record: 25-14
League Ranking: 3rd (Previous Season: 4th)
Offensive Ranking: 3rd
Defensive Ranking: 4th
Last Match Played: Wigtown Wanderers 410 v 700 Pride of Portree (W)
The season started poorly for Portree, with the team losing as many games as it was winning. Heavily dependent on top notch chaser Elliott Reid, who plays for the Scottish national team, the losses racked up during his absences. Saddled with a middling .500 record at the halfway point of the season, Pride started to turn its season around with the acquisition of Caryxander Mordushku in the new year. Ripping off several long winning streaks, the chemistry between Reid and Mordushku seems strong and the future bright.
Wimbourne Wasps
Record: 29-10
League Ranking: 2nd (Previous Season: 7th)
Offensive Ranking: 1st
Defensive Ranking: 2nd
Last Match Played: Wimbourne Wasps 670 v 700 Holyhead Harpies (L)
The Wimbourne Wasps spent the last few seasons trending in the right direction, making steady improvements in their ranking each of the last few seasons. That steady improvement took a sudden leap this season, their five place jump in the rankings the largest in the league this year. The additions of rookies Eric Hyland and Aurora Blackwood, as well as the midseason transfer of chaser Camila Lopez accounted for the heavy infusion of talent that skyrocketed Wimbourne up the charts. With another off season of growth and chemistry building with their talented youth, Wimbourne looks built to contend for years to come.
Middle of the Pack
Whether consistently average, or erratically up and down, the middle of the pack teams are just that, teams that find their way to the middle! These teams aren’t pushovers, but whether through lack of talent or lack of consistency, we feel they’re not
Banchory Bangers
Record: 17-22
League Ranking: 9th (Previous Season: 11th)
Offensive Ranking: 8th
Defensive Ranking: 6th
Last Match Played: Banchory Bangers 190 v 690 Appleby Arrows (L)
Though relegated mainly to the role of a spoiler the past few seasons, earning that moniker has shown that, while hardly a top flight team, the Bangers can still bang with the best of them. Tough, gritty, and feeling like they have nothing to lose, the Bangers might not be a threat to win it all, but they can still put a scare into the other top teams, who know not to let their guard down around them.
Caerphilly Catapults
Record: 22-17
League Ranking: 5th (Previous Season: 5th)
Offensive Ranking: 4th
Defensive Ranking: 8th
Last Match Played: Caerphilly Catapults 350 v 240 Montrose Magpies (W)
Despite a top five finish the past two seasons, an old saying comes to this reporter’s mind: if you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse. Despite their success, Caerphilly lacks the talent surplus of the top teams in the league, and the infusion of ascending stars that the others enjoy. While we don’t believe they’ve gotten worse, the other top teams around them have gotten better, something made clear by their early record, that slowly petered off as other ascending teams started to grow their own chemistry.
Kenmare Kestrels
Record: 16-23
League Ranking: 10th (Previous Season: 9th)
Offensive Ranking: 13th
Defensive Ranking: 10th
Last Match Played: Kenmare Kestrels 220 v 490 Tutshill Tornadoes (L)
The team may be average, but watching them play is anything but! Innovative, exciting, thrilling really. But despite the dazzling show, the record simply doesn’t match. In a lot of ways, the Kestrels punch above their weight, finishing 9th and 10th the past two seasons, despite their atrocious ability to score. If pizzazz won games, Kenmare would be atop the league, but until then, they keep their rightful place in the middling tier.
Puddlemere United
Record: 18-21
League Ranking: 8th (Previous Season: 8th)
Offensive Ranking: 7th
Defensive Ranking: 11th
Last Match Played: Ballycastle Bats 560 v 440 Puddlemere United (L)
The very definition of middling, Puddlemere, the league’s oldest team, has seen both its success and its standards fall in recent years. Finishing dead center of the league in back to back seasons, they’re the very definition of inconsistent, one week losing to the worst teams in the league, the next week upsetting the best. However, their recent recruitment strategy reeks of desperation, something that doesn’t seem to have attracted many top players. We expect Puddlemere remains a middling team moving forward.
Bottom of the Barrel
The name says it all really, these teams consistently underperform. They may have a storied history of winning but down on their luck, or they may have never tasted success in the history of their club. Either way, we don’t foresee winning in their near future either!
Chudley Cannons
Record: 15-23-1
League Ranking: 11th (Previous Season: 12th)
Offensive Ranking: 11th
Defensive Ranking: 9th
Last Match Played: Chudley Cannons 350 v 450 Ballycastle Bats (L)
Though it pains us to say it, the plucky, loveable Chudley Cannons personify the word futility. A slight improvement over last season’s third worst ranking isn’t enough to sway us. There’s something endearing about their persistence in the face of mounting losses, but that doesn’t translate to wins, and until they start to prove us wrong, we believe they deserve this place in our analysis.
Montrose Magpies
Record: 13-26
League Ranking: 13th (Previous Season: 10th)
Offensive Ranking: 12th
Defensive Ranking: 12th
Last Match Played: Caerphilly Catapults 350 v 240 Montrose Magpies (L)
There isn’t a team in the league that can claim as much success (historically at least) as the Montrose Magpies. Unfortunately, these Magpies exist on both ends of the bell curve, and for all their success, they have met with an equal amount of tragedy. Lately there’s been little reason for celebration, and with yet another recent season as a bottom dweller, we believe this club is, unfortunately, ranked right where it belongs.
Tutshill Tornadoes
Record: 10-29
League Ranking: 14th (Previous Season: 13th)
Offensive Ranking: 14th
Defensive Ranking: 14th
Last Match Played: Kenmare Kestrels 220 v 490 Tutshill Tornadoes (W)
There isn’t much to say about the league’s bottom dwelling team. After finishing with the second worst ranking in the league last season, Tutshill managed to top their previous low, needing all 39 weeks of the season to crack double digit wins. If there’s one silver lining for the once proud franchise, it’s that they may have finally hit rock bottom, and next year there’s nowhere to go but up.
Wigtown Wanderers
Record: 13-26
League Ranking: 12th (Previous Season: 14th)
Offensive Ranking: 10th
Defensive Ranking: 12th
Last Match Played: Wigtown Wanderers 410 v 700 Pride of Portree (L)
A twelfth place finish was actually a revelation for the bottom feeding Wigtown Wanderers, who are no stranger to last place finishes the last several years. Though none would doubt their mettle, their aggressive tactics and brutal style of play haven’t led to winning, and without a new infusion of talent in the offseason, that doesn’t look to change anytime soon.
