Professional Quidditch 32-33 Season Semi Finals

Brooms, quaffles, bludgers, golden snitches, players giving their everything and fans shouting from the bottom of their lungs -amplifying charm included. The number one wizarding sport we all thrill for is here to make you jump on your broom. Calista Earnshaw and Edward Callbeck will bring you the semi-finals results!

Without much further ado, let’s jump right into the results!


Falmouth Falcons vs Wigtown Wanderers: 760 – 790   
The Bodmin Moor Millennium Stadium in Cornwall hosts one of the simultaneous semi-finals of this 32-33 season. 

Whilst the Holyhead Harpies and the Chudley Cannons are facing each other up North, Cornwall has received the Falmouth Falcons and the Wigtown Wanderers for a rematch that will dictate who will be worthy enough to qualify for the finals. 

Sun, breeze, and the presence of the sea nearby -still, a few miles away- make this the perfect weather for Quidditch. 

Last time these two teams faced each other, things didn’t go well for the Falcons. In fact, things went as bad as they could be, as the Wanderers’ Chasers simply dominated the game, finishing with a victory of 820 to 580 for their team. 

Today, the team from Falmouth probably wants to do things differently. But, on the other hand, the Scottish team won’t make it easier for them -with only two losses during this season, why would the Wanderers want to not win again? 

The Wanderers arrived at the stadium looking calm, confident, and deeply irritating to anyone wearing Falcons’ colours. Meanwhile, the Falcons marched onto the pitch with the kind of determination usually only seen in people trying to win back money they definitely should not have gambled away in the first place. 

Both teams have something to prove: The Falcons probably want to recover their high status that was enjoyed at the beginning of the season, and the Wanderers possibly need to reassert their dominance over the English team.  

There’s tension in the air already. Falcon’s supporters are insisting that the last match that they faced off was a fluke, despite the scoreline being large enough to qualify as a small government budget. Wanderers fans, meanwhile, have spent most of the pre-game chanting things that are technically true but probably shouldn’t be repeated in front of small children…. Or your parents.

Still, semi-finals have a funny way of ignoring expectations. One brilliant save, one nasty Bludger hit, one Seeker flying face-first into a goal hoop can change everything. And if nothing else, the neutral crowd is hoping for chaos, drama, and at least one commentator completely losing their voice before halftime but never their devilish good looks. 

At exactly one o’clock in the afternoon, the Snitch is released, alongside the expectations, hopes and dreams from every fan following the match.

The opening minutes have been chaotic. Pure, beautiful, terrifying chaos. The Wanderers as a team came out aggressively; however, it was their Chasers who attacked first, with Babs Paternoster in the lead. With an energetic triple loop, a bubbly smile, and the confidence of a cunning fox, Paternoster grabbed the Quaffle as soon as it was spotted, flying with high speed, avoiding Bludgers, and giving an acrobatic spectacle of skills that ended probably distracting the Falcons’ Keeper Dale Morris -whom never makes mistakes, according to himself- and scoring the first ten points of the match.

As if this wasn’t enough on the Falcons’ Keeper, both Garry Ivers and Shay Clark followed suit, scoring a couple of goals each for the Scottish team, before the Chasers from Falmouth could even have a go at the Quaffle. 

Needless to say, the Falcons’ fans at the stands began to feel their pressure rise. 

With twenty-one minutes into the game, the scores were not looking great for the English team, as the Wanderers led 120 to 30, even though their attempts hadn’t been lacking. 

Truth be told, the Wigtown Wanderers’ Keeper Mick Mooney was -and still is, at the time of writing this article- a massive force to be reckoned with. He might be small in stature, but perhaps precisely because of that, his movements are even more agile than the average Keeper, providing him with the skill to defend the most unexpected Quaffle-spot. 

Of course, he’s only a wizard, and even though he can perform magic, this talent of his is physical only, so there are occasions when the Quaffles go through, despite his biggest efforts. 

On the Falcons’ side, things weren’t so bright on the Keeping defense. At one point,  their Beaters decided on adopting a much more violent -and morally grey- tactic, called the ‘Two-toe shuffle’. Honestly, don’t ask…. We’re just as confused as you.

Whatever it was, it looked as if it involved tormenting two Chasers from the opposite team at the same time -read below for more information. 

Rhys Morgan seemed to have a personal vendetta against the Wanderers’ Chaser Garry Ivers. Every time Ivers tried to score, Morgan was behind him, with a Bludger at the ready, and a nightmare-fueled smirk that would even inspire respect from a Dementor. He was out for blood, and yet, he was taking turns between Bludger-Torturing Ivers and Shay Clark, so the referees wouldn’t single him out. 

At the same time, Lachlan Stewart -the Real Lachlan Stewart- was across the pitch performing the part B of the so called ‘Two-toe shuffle’. He seemed to fly dangerously close to Babs Paternoster and rotate towards Shay Clark whenever Morgan wasn’t giving her enough attention -such gentlemen, really. And just as with Ivers and Morgan, every time Paternoster was about to score, Stewart would simply appear to take her down, ready to ruin the Chasers’ dreams, like unwanted Horklumps in a standard Wizarding Family’s garden. 

Needless to say, this would only work for the following twenty-two minutes or so. After all, the Wigtown Wanderers also did have Beaters. 

And what is more, they had Cade Lindon. 

If there is a Beater that inspires  terror respect, that is -without a single doubt- Cade Lindon. His cold demeanour is legendary, only paired with his skills. As the Falmouths raised their score on the board, with Chasers Lucius Paddon and Declan Byrne performing some plays that were slightly interesting, Lindon was focused on multiplying himself across the pitch. 

If Ivers was attacked, he was trying to defend him, but as he did so, Paternoster or Clark were left unattended, causing the Beater to maybe question his own judgement -Note from the reporters: ‘Allegedly, he probably doesn’t question himself, we definitely know he’s wise on his plays’.

Whatever the case, Lindon decided to switch broom-gears then, taking‘the best defense is a good offense’ saying to heart, as he decided to make the Falmouth Falcons’ Beaters his prey instead.

By then, an hour and six minutes had passed since the game started, and the scores were stable on both sides, with 610 to 570 for the Wanderers. 

Unluckily for the team from Falmouth, when Lindon decided to activate his Battle Mode, their fate was already decided. With Rhys Morgan and Lachlan Stewart -the real Lachlan Stewart- being pursued by Cade Lindon, the Falmouth Falcons pretty much lost their Beaters. 

Not physically, but mentally -and maybe in spirit too. 

After all, when an emotionless wizard follows someone with a bat on his hand, the outcome is probably not good. 
For his victims. 

In this case, -and in the name of Quidditch-, Lindon provided his team with an advantage that his Chasers didn’t hesitate to take. Whilst the Falcons’ fans watched in agony -and the Wanderers’ side screamed in ecstasy-, the Scottish team began to create a deeper dent on the scores, raising their side of the boards to 790 to 610. 

Perhaps it was that abyss that made Dot Townsend give up and preserve at least her personal pride. 

As the game went past the hour and a half mark, a Golden glow could be seen in the distance. Both Seekers dived with perfection. After all, both women prided themselves with their abilities to catch glory. 

The Wanderers’ Evie Proudfoot seemed to have the advantage, but in an unexpected turn of events, Lachlan Stewart -the real Lachlan Stewart- freed himself from the claws of Cade Lindon, and made a last attempt to ‘end at least with honour’, as he managed to throw a perfectly aimed Bludger towards Proudfoot, the moment she was about to touch gold -instead, she touched grass. – sheeshhhhhhhhhhh-

Simultaneously, -and with the whole stadium in utter silence- Falmouth’s very own Dot Townsend was on a quest of her own; avoiding Bludgers with poise, dodging other players with grace, and finally extending her hand to capture the Snitch that would leave her team barely out of the finals.       

Somewhere in the stands, a baby began to cry, probably projecting what every Falmouth fan -and players- felt at the very moment; inevitably followed by the cheers of joy from the Wanderers fans, who raised their meat cleavers with respect, celebrating the final score of 790-760. 

And there we have it: another victory for the Wigtown Wanderers, and another moment of regret for the Falmouth Falcons.

Not as brutal as their last game – or to be more accurate, their meet and greet. Because after all, that’s what it felt like.- But a loss all the same.

To their credit, the team from Falmouth fought harder this time. They made Wanderers work for their bread, goal, every save, and every inch of momentum. Unfortunately for them, making it competitive is technically not how one reaches The Finals.

As the Scottish team celebrated on the pitch, looking every bit like as if they were destined for great things, the Falcons slowly exited with once more….. The walk of shame.

“I couldn’t let them have the last one. My Quidditch Beliefs forbid me to do so.” 
-Dot Townsend, Falmouth Falcons’ Seeker and Queen of the Snitch. 


Chudley Cannons vs Holyhead Harpies: 480 – 460  
The moment we all have been waiting, has finally arrived: a second encounter between the teams from Chudley and Holyhead. 

Last time they faced each other, things didn’t turn so well for the Harpies, with fans and the press wondering what would have brought such a mistake so late in the season -let’s all remember, the scores were in their favour, 480 to 440, and then Callum Thorne took the victory away for the Cannons.  

This time, their encounter presents itself with a turbulent morning; grey skies and the constant threat of heavy rain, despite the time of the year -one would think that the 17th of May would be a great day of spring, but here in the Yorkshire Moors, things can turn pretty hectic in a matter of seconds. 

Whether it rains or not, the fans are already prepared at the Yorkshire Moors Quidditch Stadium, some can be seen with Umbrella Charms ready to go, and others are simply daring the skies to stay as they are. 

The stands are evenly divided; gold and emerald on one side, black and orange on the other. For the fans of the Chudley Cannons, to be simply witnessing their team reaching the semi finals, has been certainly a treat they were not expecting. Whether they win or not, surely their fans will still save this memory with fondness in their hearts, as they haven’t been so close to a proper victory since decades ago -even though they did secure a few wins back in the 27/28 season. 

As per the Holyhead Harpies’ fans, being here is not something unusual. However, it is clear on their faces that there is a slight concern when it comes to this match, this team they’re facing, and in particular this Seeker called Callum Thorne. The Golden Boy from Cornwall has simply shined throughout the season, and today, he could be the difference between a win and a loss. 

At half past midday, both teams have stepped onto the pitch, with Captains Kayla Murphy and Justyn Riley exchanging a handshake, promising to keep things ‘clean’ -whether that ends up happening or not, it is yet to be seen. 

With the snitch being released at exactly one in the afternoon, the match has officially started. 

It’s the Harpies’ Chaser Siobhan O’Connor who captures the Quaffle first, flying on a quick zig-zag, avoiding the Cannons’ Bludgers, and going towards the scoring zone with haste. There is no hesitation, she performs a double loop and passes the Quaffle towards Fiona Campbell, who thinks of it as if it was some sort of hot potato; throwing it right away to their third Chaser Jolene Parris. 

Parris shoots and scores, giving the first ten points to her team, already creating an advantage. 

As his hoops are invaded, the Cannons’ Captain and Keeper Justyn Riley passes the Quaffle to his oldest Chaser, Clarity Terrell, who brings the rhythm of the game back into the midfield. 

Unfortunately, her flight is interrupted, as a Bludger directed by the Harpies’ Beater Isla MacDonald hits her on the leg, making her lose her balance and the Quaffle. 

Whilst the Quaffle was taking its distance from Terrell, the Harpies’ Chaser Fiona Campbell flew towards it and managed to score her team’s second goal. Her exploit was repeated by her teammates, several times, with both Parris and O’Connor scoring for the Harpies and making the distance on the scoreboard grow minute by minute. 

The Chudley Cannons didn’t want to fall behind. 

However, truth be told, their Chasers weren’t as assertive as the Harpies’, and whilst Clarity Terrell did make up for losing the Quaffle at the beginning, her efforts -alongside with teammates’ Casimir Utkin and Consus Król- felt lacking. 

Forty-three minutes after the Snitch had been released, the match saw its first Referee interference, along with heavy spells of rain that began to bother a few on the pitch. 

With a score of 250 to 90 for the Harpies, the Cannons began to play slightly more aggressively, making avoidable mistakes that left their fans howling with anxiety. Perhaps the anxiety was contagious, as the Beaters from Chudley began to overextend their actions, throwing more Bludgers than they could afford. Some of these Bludgers repeatedly punished the Harpies’ Chaser Fiona Campbell, as well as their Seeker and Captain Kayla Murphy. 

Despite the Harpies’ defense being strong, their Beater Lillibeth Bennet could certainly not teleport from one player to another, and whilst she was saving three, a fourth was being abused by the Cannons’ Beaters. 

It was Noëlle Ó Ceallaigh who earned her first Green Sparks on the game -and in her career- for excessive bludgering. Whilst the Cannons’ fans roared in desperation -with chants like‘Referee, let them play! Bludgers make them pay!’-, Ó Ceallaigh served five minutes out of the game. 

Things weren’t looking great for the Cannons, and those five minutes helped the Harpies in ways that only extended the difference between the scores. 

More mistakes followed through, and the tension could be cut with a Severing Charm between the Cannons’ Chasers, Beaters and Keeper, who seemed to start to feel already defeated. 

But as it always happens in a Quidditch match, nothing is truly set in stone until the Snitch is caught. 

The Harpies’ forte has always been scoring and beating. As a matter of fact, even after this match, they still remain the highest scorers of the season. 

And yet, when it comes to Seeking, a couple of names -or perhaps three- have been brighter than others. 

At exactly an hour and thirty-two minutes of game, and with a score of 460 to 330 for the Harpies, the Snitch appeared hovering towards one of the stands. 

Whilst the all-girls-team’s Seeker Kayla Murphy dived for it, with Beater Isla MacDonald following her behind, a rogue Bludger ruined her trajectory. MacDonald had been protecting Murphy from the Cannons’ attacks, however, she didn’t calculate the bad luck a rogue Bludger sometimes can bring. 

With Murphy down, MacDonald changed her strategy, and committed to take their opposite Seeker out, instead. 

But Callum Thorne is not just any Seeker. 

Golden Boy Thorne seems to have just found the perfect combination to fly flawlessly. With a double loop, a zig-zag, and a final Sloth Grip Roll -literally putting him upside down-, Thorne seized the Snitch. 

The fans at both sides of the grades went speechless. 

The gold and emerald side couldn’t believe what just had happened, and were quickly adding the scores. 

And as per the other side? 

The Orange and Black side remained quiet for exactly six seconds. Six seconds that seemed like an eternity, until one fan dared to scream ‘YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY’. An effortless ‘yay’ that soon was echoed by others. 

The Chudley Cannons had won 480-460, and qualified for the finals in a historic season that, without any doubt, Callum Thorne has been carrying with his hands. 

On the other hand, -and despite the amount of points scored during these past months- the Holyhead Harpies return home with yet another ‘stolen’ victory, -as some of their members might feel-, once more lacking just an inch of technique to crown themselves with glory. 

Then again, there’s always next season, right?

“He’s gold… Our Golden Boy. Literally.” 
-Anonymous Chudley Cannons’ Fan, talking about Callum Thorne.