Professional Quidditch Matchweeks 25 and 26

Brooms, quaffles, bludgers, golden snitches, players giving their everything and fans shouting from the bottom of their lungs -amplifying charm included. The number one wizarding sport we all thrill for is here to make you jump on your broom.

Calista Earnshaw and Edward Callbeck will bring you this week’s coverage, after the season returns after the Easter Holidays! One more week before we jump into the semi-finals!
Without much further ado, let’s jump right into the results!


Ballycastle Bats V Caerphilly Catapults – 920 – 800
If there’s a team that has been on multiple highs and lows during this season, the Ballycastle Bats come to mind, without a doubt.

Once a powerhouse, the Northern Irish team has seen what it really means to be at the bottom of the barrel, with despair as their only companion.

Luckily for the Bats, Lady Fortuna took a subtle interest in them -that, or the allegations on Felix Felicis might be true-, and just like a Phoenix, they rose from their ashes, ending the season on a higher note that looked quite impossible back in 2032.

Their opponents, on the other hand, have consistently stayed in the midfield of the leaderboard, but even if consistency has been their forte, the Caerphilly Catapults still needed to fight for their spot in order to end up as high as they could.

Their powerful and feminine trio of Chasers -Gabriella Dudley, Elara Quinn and Kasandra Bélanger-, started up strong, creating a visible difference on their scores and putting the Catapults with a hundred points of advantage during the first twenty minutes of the game -370 to 270. This situation was prolonged during the following hour, making both team’s fans go absolutely mental, with chants of ‘Fruit-bats! Fruit-bats! Fruit-bats can’t fight these Catapults!’ from one side, and ‘Go mental, go Bats! We fight until they’re gone!’ from the other side.

Ballycastle’s Keeper Marsha Lyon wasn’t impressed with her team’s Beaters -or her own hands-, as both Ada Ivers and Blaise Bennett seemed to let the Catapults’ Trio of Belles score more than they should -allegedly. However, as the match progressed, both Ivers and Bennett -with two T’s- seemed to send more accurate bludgers, and with their confidence renewed; their Chasers Tobin Townsend and Avonlea Fox seemed to catch up on the score. With a fantastic pass from Deirdre Piper, Fox closed the distance with the Catapults 770 to 800, after two hours of game.

It was then when the Golden Snitch decided to stop taunting both Seekers, giving them a chance to catch it. It was Ballycastle’s New Boy Cassian Fleetwood -still replacing Whittle- who found the prize once again, catching the Snitch and winning the game for his team, with a final score of 920-800. Truly, Fleetwood has shown that the Bats do look much better with his presence on the field.

One could even say their luck changed, when Avery Whittle got suspended… Or perhaps it was just a coincidence.

What can be said for sure, is that with this final win, the Ballycastle Bats have ended sixth on the Leaderboard, one place over the seventh spot given to the Caerphilly Catapults who continued their consistency of staying on the midfield.

Ballycastle, their fans and Barny the Fruitbat surely will go on celebrating a victory that meant more than just that, during this 2032-2033 season.

“I’ll take it… And maybe a permanent spot, too?”
-Cassian Fleetwood, Ballycastle Bats’ Seeker and possible permanent replacement to Avery Whittle?


Puddlemere United V Holyhead Harpies – 510 – 760
Puddlemere has proven -again and again- how important it is to just not… Well, give up. One day things can look perfect, and the following one… Not.

This has truly been the voyage of United during this 2032-2033 season so far; climbing up, going down, and up again to at least end with dignity.

With dignity, and with the support of their fans, who loyally stood by their team in every match. Speaking of, a certain Mr Algernon Fletch must be decently happy with his season’s winnings -provided his wife didn’t find an early end to his Gambling career.

For their last game of the season, -because let’s be honest, even with a win, their chances of going into semi-finals were close to null, specially playing against the Harpies-, United showed a cohesive and -dare we say- strong team, that came to the pitch to play and to have fun.

Chasers Sora McKellan and Jack Jones were on point, as they opened the scores of the match, with an easy 20-0 in the first two minutes -in retrospective, one could almost notice the way they had scored was, indeed, too easy. After all, they were up against the Harpies.

After fifteen minutes of game, Ariadne Massey sent Puddlemere’s twentieth quaffle against the Holyhead Harpies’ hoops -along with a white rose, as it is her signature move-, putting her team at 200-0.

It was then when everybody realised the Harpies were doing Harpies Things again.

As if some sort of urgency hit the team from Holyhead, quaffles and bludgers began to change directions, and the points… Well, the points massively increased from the Harpies’ side.

Chaser Siobhan O’Connor opened the scoring season, followed by Jolene Parris and Fiona Campbell, one after the other. And no, they were not only capturing the quaffle, they were taking it from Puddlemere, again and again, as if they were practicing how to steal a Chocolate Wand from a two year old whilst leaving the most emotional damage behind.

Because stealing the quaffle from Puddlemere wasn’t enough, the Harpies’ Beaters charged into battle with specific Bludgers that screamed ‘Haha, cute. You thought you could play’. Isla MacDonald kept United’s Chaser at bay, whilst Lillibeth Bennet was in charge of becoming the worst nightmare of Puddlemere’s Beaters.

Psychological warfare with a touch of modern ‘Quidditch Bloodbath’ at its best.

In the end, the match didn’t last much more than an hour. Around fifty-nine minutes after the start -and with a score of 610-510 for the Harpies-, the Golden Snitch appeared near one of the stands.

Both seekers dived down, but United’s Callum McClarken seemed to struggle with his focus -was that Jolene Parris flying by and smiling at him? Why?-, something that Kayla Murphy didn’t hesitate to take advantage of.

With a double loop and a final boisterous zig-zag, Murphy reached for glory, capturing the Snitch for her team, leaving the Holyhead Harpies with a victory of 760-510, automatically passing to the semi-finals.

The Harpies sit comfortably on the second place of the leaderboard, with nine victories, four losses, and impressive total points scored of 10620 -even more than the Wigtown Wanderers, who hold the first place with ten victories and three losses.

Will they be able to steal the spotlight from the Scottish team, and perhaps cause a bit of psychological damage along their way towards the finals?

Whatever the outcome, it will certainly be a treat to see.

As per Puddlemere United, they fought almost fiercely until the very end. Perhaps next season will bring them a new strategy that will take them further, just like in the old times.

“They… They came in like a wrecking ball…”
-Viljo Suvi, Puddlemere United’s Keeper, who will probably use the break for mental healing.


Chudley Cannons V Kenmare Kestrels – 870 – 670
For a match with this many goals, it was the players furthest from the spotlight, the Keepers and Seekers who quietly decided everything.

Early on, both teams traded scores at a steady pace, but the Keepers kept the game from spiraling into complete chaos. Kestrels’ Keeper Reese Barret held strong through the opening pressure, making sharp, reactive saves that kept the Cannons from running away with it too quickly. Every time it looked like the team from Chudley might break things open, another stop dragged the Kestrels back into it.

At the other end, the Cannons’ Keeper Justyn Riley played a very different game, with less frequent action but higher stakes. When the Kestrels did break through, they were dangerous, forcing clean, difficult saves that had to be perfect, and more often than not, they were.

As the match wore on, the difference began to show. The Cannon’s defense tightened just enough, turning away key chances that could have shifted momentum, while the Kestrels’ Keeper, despite an impressive performance, was slowly being worn down by the constant pressure.

Still, the match stayed within reach.

That’s when the Seekers took over.

Both had been circling for what felt like ages, waiting, watching, refusing to commit too early. The tension built quietly in the background while the rest of the match raged on. Then, in a sudden shift, both dove.

For a brief moment, it looked like the Kestrels’ Seeker Hall Mynatt might get there first, but Chudley’s Seeker Callum Thorne adjusted mid-flight, closed the angle, and secured the Snitch cleanly in one decisive motion.

And with that, it was over.

A match where the scorers filled the board, but the Keepers kept it competitive, and the Seeker finished the job. Quiet heroes, loud result.

With this last win, the Chudley Cannons automatically pass to the semi-finals. Perhaps if their luck and skills continue, they might even make it to the final?

As per the Kestrels, hopefully they can redeem themselves during the next season.

“There’s always next year, and hey! We did have fun along the way! The Beating Way!”
-Blossom Fairbairn, Kenmare Kestrels’ Beater and Motivational Speaker.


Appleby Arrows V Montrose Magpies – 620 – 400
The Arrows didn’t rush this one; they took it.

From the opening minutes, the Arrows played like a team with a plan and the patience to stick to it. Instead of flooding forward, they built their attacks carefully, stretching the Magpies’ side to side until gaps started to appear. Once they did, the goals followed.

The Magpies tried to keep things tight early, matching the tempo and putting together a few solid scoring runs of their own. For a stretch, it looked like they might turn it into a proper contest, trading goals and staying within reach.

But the Arrows never lost control.

Their Chasers Justine McNee, Scotty Moore and Jenson Barnett kept the pressure constant, recycling possession and forcing the Montrose Beaters Peter Riches and Kane Curtis to defend longer and longer sequences. It wasn’t flashy, it was exhausting. The Magpies were made to chase, and eventually, that chase turned into mistakes.

The Bludgers’ pressure only added to it, as the Arrows Beaters disrupted just enough plays to keep the Magpies from settling, turning potential attacks into resets and giving their own side more opportunities to build.

As the score climbed, the gap slowly widened. The team from Montrose kept fighting, but every push forward felt heavier than the last, while the English team from Appleby continued to move with the same steady rhythm.

With the match sitting at 480-400, the Arrows’ Seeker brought it to a close with a clean Snitch catch, sealing a win that was less about bursts of brilliance and more about control from start to finish.

A composed performance from the Arrows; measured, patient, and always one step ahead, while the Magpies were left trying to keep up with a pace they couldn’t quite match.

And out of all, this is what makes this result even harder to swallow.

This is the same Arrows that not so many years ago, crowned themselves as winners of the Eurocup. One can’t but wonder: are the old days gone?

And will they get back to their old glory?

As per the Montrose Magpies… Well. Hope is a good thing to have.

“Could be worse… You know, at least this year our curse is just ending at the bottom of the leaderboard, but I think we’re all keeping all of our extremities?”
-Peter Riches, Montrose Magpies’ Beater and Hopeful Dreamer.


Wigtown Wanderers V Tutshill Tornadoes – 580 – 310
The indisputable top team of the season so far, has been the Wigtown Wanderers. The Scottish team has only had three losses up until now, climbing up the leaderboard steadily, when the Falmouth Falcons least expected it.

For the last match before the semi-finals, the Wanderers seemed to have what might end up as an easy encounter against the Tutshill Tornadoes. With their Chasers Garry Ivers and Babs Paternoster starting up strong, the Scottish team seemed to be on a league of its own against the Tornadoes’ Keeper Lexie Cullen.

Cullen, on the other side, seemed more preoccupied by a section of the stands where a few men in formal attire stood, eyes focused on the match and… Her performance? Is it possible that Cullen is looking for a way out from the Tornadoes?

Whether she was or not, her performance today was not on her top ten, to put it generously; quaffles slipping from her hands, incorrect hoops protected, and focus anywhere else but on the pitch. Compared to her previous games, this has not been her proudest moment -unless she wanted to perform badly to keep herself in the team? Has she finally found a home in Tutshill?

Whatever the case, it cost her team an unfair disadvantage of almost a hundred points, and by the time she tried to correct it, it was already too late.

Whilst the Tornadoes’ Keeper was having a midlife crisis, their Beaters were doing their best to put Wigtown’s players down. Both Kip Heath and Cerys Llewellyn had all hands on board, when it came to grab Bludgers, shoot Bludgers, and land Bludgers -Wigtown’s third Chaser Shay Clark even went to the referees for excessive bludgering, a complaint that ended with a Green Spark for Kip Heath, along with five minutes grounding penalty. With Heath grounded and Cullen not completely focused, the Tutshill Tornadoes had practically given away the match to the Wanderers. Their Chasers had tried -hard-, but every time they closed the distance, the team from Wigtown counterattacked -harder- and doubled the difference, just like a Gemino Curse nobody wanted anything to do with.

After exactly fifty-two minutes of game, both Seekers seemed to suddenly activate their awareness, and not even sixty seconds after, both dived into the depths of the stadium. Unluckily for Tutshill’s very own Lacey Bolton, a Bludger -aimed at her by Wigtown’s Beater Cade Lindon, unsurprisingly- put her down, just when she thought she was touching Gold.

The Wanderer’s Seeker Evie Proudfoot did not hesitate. With a double loop and a confident smile, she captured the Golden Snitch, obtaining victory for her team with a final score of 580-310.
With their tenth victory this season, and dominating the top of the leaderboard, the Wigtown Wanderers proceed to the next stage, where semi-finals will be held soon enough.

The question remains, however: will they be able to keep their crown until the finals?

“Wouldn’t you like to know…”
-Lexie Cullen, Tutshill Tornadoes’ Keeper, when asked where her focus was during the match.


Pride of Portree V Banchory Bangers – 790 – 810
This one started as a shootout and ended as a robbery.

Portree looked sharp early, with their Chasers Valentine Weekes and Noah Hawtrey running the offense like it was their personal highlight reel. Weekes was everywhere at once, setting up plays, finishing them, and occasionally appearing in places physics hadn’t fully agreed on yet. Hawtrey kept things moving smoothly, threading passes through gaps that looked like they were barely real.

For most of the match, Portree’s attack was flowing. Clean transitions, sharp finishes, and just enough control to keep them slightly ahead on the scoreboard.

Then the Bangers’ Beaters showed up to ruin the script.
Jotham Patton and Anah Trengove basically decided Portree’s Chasers were not allowed to have fun anymore. Every time Weekes tried to build momentum, a Bludger politely disagreed. Every time Hawtrey found space, it mysteriously disappeared two seconds later with a loud clang.

It wasn’t subtle. It was effective.

The match tightened fast. Portree kept scoring, but the rhythm was gone—like trying to dance while someone keeps turning the music off mid-step. The Bangers clawed their way back into it, feeding off every disrupted play and turning defense into quick counterattacks.

By the time the score hit 660-790 for Portree, the stadium had fully accepted it was going to end in emotional damage, as it still could go either way.

Enter the Bangers’ Seeker, Bryson McConnell.

While everyone else was busy having a breakdown, McConnell was apparently doing his job. He broke from the pack at exactly the right moment, tracked the Snitch cleanly, and sealed the match with a calm, decisive catch that felt almost rude given how chaotic everything else had been.

Final score: 810-790.

A brutal finish for Portree, who spent most of the match scoring beautifully and still somehow ended up watching the points walk away. The Bangers? They’ll call it resilience, a survival instinct that makes them claw themselves into any sort of hope, even if it is to end on the higher end of the bottom from the leaderboard. Portree will probably call it theft, as it left them knock-knock knocking at the Semi-Finals’ door.

Better luck next season!

“Nah, don’t talk to me…”
-Valentine Weekes, Pride of Portree’s Chaser, when asked for a comment on the match.


Wimbourne Wasps V Falmouth Falcons – 690 – 560
Oh, Wasps. What a tough year for the team from Wimbourne -then again, when isn’t it hard for them?
Big hopes at the start of the season, a few victories here and there, but in the end… It really didn’t even matter.

Facing the Falcons, the Wasps had little hope in winning a match that, for them, it was already doomed from the start.

Little did they know, the team from Falmouth had also suffered a great emotional ‘rollercoaster’ -as the muggles say- when it came to victories and hopes.

With a strong start at the beginning of the season, the Falcons kept themselves at the top of the leaderboard for quite a few games, even undefeated for most of them, until suddenly… Well. Defeat.
Defeat in all shapes and forms, pushing the team lower than they would have wanted.

Curiously enough, this is how this match started as well. With the Falcons showing an extremely strong start and then…

They followed from their brooms as if they were being chased by Dementors -not literally, but boy, if they had fallen, maybe their mistakes would have been forgivable.

Let’s say that after forty minutes into the game, things did not look great for the Falcons, as the scores marked 410 to 230 for the Wasps.

Needless to say, the Wasps’ Chasers had been doing a pretty good job until then -where was this effort during the most part of the season, well that is a mystery-, with Robyn McKowen and Tryphena Beetlegleam being the highest scorers, and Layne Peacock being simply sublime at offering those one-of-a-kind passes.

Their Beaters Emily Thompson and Aoife Murphy also were giving their very best, as if their performance would give them a pass directly into the finals -perhaps they still thought they had a chance? If only they had started to work better a few months earlier…

At the end of the pitch, their Keeper Kjersti Nathalie seemed as if she had grown an additional pair of hands to maintain the quaffle away from her hoops -maybe she did, and what everyone was witnessing was a Skelegro Potion gone wrong?

On the other side, the Falcons were simply struggling. The Chasers were all over the place, with Lucius Paddon making mistakes he -allegedly- wasn’t used to. Their Beaters? Probably trying to find Wrackspurts with their bats rather than bludgers. Lachlan Stewart -The Real Lachlan Stewart- even seemed to actually find some at some point.

As time flew by, the scores changed, still in favour of the Wasps; ninety-three minutes into the match, and they were winning 690-410.

It was then when the Falcons’ Seeker Dot Townsend probably got ‘enough’. A swift look around made her lock on her target: a wild Golden Snitch simply existing up the pitch. She flew like a Golden Snidget, fast as the wind, hand extended and ready to capture the end of a torturous game. She did not achieve victory for her team, but at least, she saved them from embarrassing themselves further.

A bittersweet win for the Wimbourne Wasps, with a final score of 690-560, and a performance that they could have used a few matches ago.

As for the Falmouth Falcons, even with this loss, they automatically qualify for the semi-finals; a fact that other teams -Pride of Portree, anyone?- will probably have an issue or two.

“Honestly? I have to do everything around here…”
-Dot Townsend, Falmouth Falcons’ Seeker and very Independent Girliepop.