Rumour Has It

Rumour Has It is for the sharp tongued among us, and the people who claim to deplore gossip, but secretly read it all the same.  

Confessions, rumours or Questions can be given to our friendly messenger owl that loiters outside The Great Hall, he takes any messages to The Owl Post, just have a few owl nuts handy!


I saw DracheBlume and Eastwood walking to the gate and then Dracheblume returning alone later and looking like she had been crying.

I’m not one for astronomy, but I swear that the tall Lion Starboy is back in orbit with his former Moon.

The house elves are protesting that 1st year protesting them by leaving oranges in the great hall.

The Lions seem to have both the tallest….and the smallest in the castle. Want to feel small? Stand next to their newest Prefect.

Rumour has it Priaulx launched the last stupid who called it Astrology into space

A werewolf sent Vikander a howler just as class was ending and some students heard it.

I heard if you can judge how much students like a professor based on how fast they leave, Priaulx is winning.

Blightly wants a LOT of kids and is hoping to one day have triplets or at least two sets of twins.

Someone told me Headmistress O’Keeffe was seen headbanging at the last Yung Meaniez performance!

That black-haired Ravenclaw prefect tried to show O’Rourke he’d be a good Quidditch Captain by throwing a first year and catching her before she hit the ground!

I heard the Gryffindor Seeker is so fast because his farts propel the broom.

I reckon Professor Vikander is secretly married to Persephone Vitrac. I can tell because she yells at him just like my Nan yells at my Grandad.

Rumour has it the Hufflepuff Rothenberg has been making starry eyes at the ghost in the second floor bathroom. I always knew she was weird.

I heard Vikander gets free Holyhead Harpies and Yung Meaniez tickets whenever he wants

Abner’s crankier than usual (not sure how you can tell though honestly) because of all the students asking to have apples removed from the menu for the rest of the year after DADA class.

Snakes are starting a pureblood cult, again. Isn’t it a bit early this year?

Someone told me a Ravenclaw Prefect had a Gryffindor Veela sitting in his lap!

Rumour has it that the Candy badger doesn’t EVER duel. Apparently when she does she’s on fire. Literally. She used fire in a duel against a snake. Thought it was supposed to be the other way around.

Someone said that the Eagles are so bad that they are skipping over having an HoH and just going straight to the DHM to avoid multiple office meetings.

Nah, the REAL reason Green is taking time away is because her sonorus caused a few cracks in the castle.

I heard a rumour that the snake pirate is a fake. He never lost an eye. He’s just trying to impress the Dark Arts professor with his panache for accessorising.

Rumour is, Green left because someone was getting too close to where she put her husband’s body and had to move it.

No no no! Green left to get married to another rich person. I wonder how long it will take for this one to go “missing”.

Someone told me that two Ravenclaw prefects were apparently seen making googoo eyes in the Library and were caught by some Gryffindors


Got your own gossip to spread and muck to rake? Drop us an owl!