Holyhead Harpies’ Own Kelpie Strangled By A Medal!
Darlings, what’s an awards ceremony without a spot of attempted strangulation? Nothing but hot air, if you ask me!
At a recent celebration in Hogsmeade, where Quidditch stars and star-lovers mingled together in the haze of the Scottish sun, Kelsey ‘Kelpie’ Galloway, seeker and Captain of the Holyhead Harpies, was bestowed with a rather dismal and derelict medal, constructed out of aluminum by the looks of it, by the Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports own Lark Rosewood, though not without some tantalising terror.
As the prize levitated around the witch’s neck, it began to strangle her, in quite the vivacious and vicious manner. This is scathing stuff, darlings, and I for one am ready for round two! Is trouble afoot in the world of Quidditch? Just what exactly did Galloway do to Rosewood, and who will be next on the hit-list? Should the recently disreputable Darragh Daly be worried, darling? Or should the tempestuous Shea Kendrick be quaking in her boots?
Take my advice, darlings, and invest in an Elizabethan ruffle-collar. Your very lives depend on it. Mwah!