Lars Stangeland means ‘WAR’ against fellow Triwiz champions, Cardan Duarte’s dangerous love triangle, and Elliott Reid’s ‘running’ chances at winning
Writes gossip correspondent Philomena Pest
War! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely everything, darlings. If you’re Lars Stangeland, the Durmstrang Triwizard champion, anyway. In a bid to scope out the threats, and solidify a second-task win, Stangeland recently participated in an off-the-record duel with Cardan Duarte, the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic Triwizard champion. Throughout this meddlesome, duplicitous and unfair battle, Stangeland’s oddly advanced shields are said to have thwarted Duarte’s heaving spell attempts, leaving the witch subdued, exhausted and probably nervous for the second task. Stangeland’s aggressive approach was markedly ‘gung-ho’, with his competitors allegedly sensing his desire to ‘go to war’, and win the competition at all costs. Scathing!
But what is a bit of frivolous sparring among now-internationally-recognised stars? To Duarte, youthful, feminine, and painstakingly beautiful, it’s nothing more than a mere side-hustle, darling. The real game is in the mind’s of her components, who she continues to bewitch into a nefarious love-triangle, using any means necessary. Love potions, beguilement, or some other means taught exclusively at Beauxbatons… for you see, in a game of chess, the Queen rarely loses. But who, darling readers, bides their time as the King or Pawn? Why fret over the logistics of who’s stronger or more skilled, when you can worm your way into the hearts of two unsuspecting boys – Stangefield and his school-mate Magnus Laufreyn – then plot your moves, little by little, till their backs are turned and you can sing that all too powerful phrase, ‘checkmate’. Oh, you clever little girl you! You have my stamp of approval.
And where oh where does the barely-fourteen-year-old Hogwarts champion, Elliott Reid, stand in all of this? To the chaotic, warmongering and opinionated Stangeland, Reid’s only notable advantage is running away. But having defeated the almighty Nundu, a creature renowned for its almost impossible resilience to individual bouts of magic, I’d wager that places Reid as the Rook, in this most tantalizing of games. And why undervalue your Rook, when you can join forces and enact a Castling. Get clever, or get caught, darlings! And may you all live to see another task… or not. *Smoky laugh!*