Percius Fletcher’s racy affair with Lark Rosewood, his immediate suspension, and Merriweather’s angry response with new Hucci Purse purchase
Writes gossip correspondent Philomena Pest
Gossip is raining down on the soulless heads of every Ministry of Magic worker this week, as a fiery, finicky and feverish love-affair takes center stage. And darlings, what a storm, one that Percius Fletcher, Head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, and his illicit and seedy squeeze Lark Rosewood, Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports, will come to sorely regret.
In a saucy leaked memo meant for Rosewood, but accidentally addressed to the Minister for Magic, and using official Ministry paper paid for by British taxpayers, he writes; ‘Fancy a go in my office? Quite like the thrill of keeping the curtains open. What do you think? I’m bored of paperwork so come by whenever. – Percius’ Having recently been awarded the Order of Merlin First Class, one wonders if the medal has gone straight to his head! Either way, darlings, I have one word for it, and say it with me: SCATHING!
Minister Alyssa Merriweather is rumoured to have responded in seething style, by suspending Fletcher for two days without pay. And if you ask me darling, considering he’s an exhibitionist, she’s let him off lightly! Merriweather was also recently spotted shopping in Regent Street, using the money spared during Fletcher’s suspension to pay for the latest Spring Collection Hucci Purse. That’s one way to use the money, darling!
In a second memo, Fletcher realises his mistake and backtracks, but shows no remorse, as he shockingly asks the Minister for Magic to do his dirty work for him; ‘Dear Minister, That last memo was meant for someone else, however I foolishly scribbled in the wrong name. Please forward it onto Lark for me. -Percius’ Too much time on your hands, darling? Or too much Rosewood? Ministry workers are overwhelmed with workloads this year, as the Triwizard Tournament weighs down heavily on them all, but this does not seem to be the case for Fletcher and Rosewood, who’s foolish squandering not only explains the instability of this years competition, but also the antiquated black-out curtains in every office!
In the famous words of Lady Goblin, darlings, ‘That’s gossip!’ *smoky laugh*