Hellhounds Doubt Mighty Swing from Rising Axes
Chudley Steal Miracle Win
Romance in the Rubble – A Distraction From Glory?
This last week has been tumultuous in top quality quidditch across the park, with teams all throughout the World’s Leagues playing to prove why they are the best, why they have the most competitive quidditch, and why the next Quidditch World Title is going to be theirs. Teams are already staking their claims to it, especially after it seems a number of the English Team that won the cup in 2026 might not be competing at the next, with a nice retirement awaiting the likes of Jasper Baxter, who has another 3 years to play out his contract with Falmouth, having previously stated as of late last year that he was interested in moving to the US and taking part in their league, where Quidditch is still a sport trying to thrive against the likes of other behemoths in Quodpot and other such sports!
Regardless, in the present, now, we’ve had a sensational run up of sporting stories, so let’s jump right in with the biggest story of the week. In a scoreline of 160 – 150, this saturday we saw the Chudley Cannons take victory against one of The Big Three of the Season in the Falmouth Falcons, stealing victory from the jaws of defeat, where they tend to find themselves in this competition year in and year out. Speaking with Bert Brawn, representative of the Chudley Cannons Official Fan Association, Brawn reported that “The sensation is insane, people are throwing parties and dancing. It really feels like a long time coming, a lot of effort, hard work and perseverance with a squad that struggles to match up to the likes of big money clubs like Ballycastle and the Falcons themselves.” The Falcons will be keen to get back to their winning ways however, as for a majority of the season they have shared a joint top spot in the league with League powerhouses Ballycastle and Holyhead, the last meeting between the two opposing teams ending resoundingly in a draw, 450 points to each.
Elsewhere, Ballycastle and Holyhead secured their wins against Caerphilly and Puddlemere, Ballycastle taking a notch from a resurgent Caerphilly team in Fourth Position, dropping them down to Fifth behind Portree, who won their game against a rather weak Wigtown side, currently sitting third from bottom in a fairly unremarkable game ending 190 – 20. Puddlemere vs Holyhead on the other hand was by far the meaner occasion, with both teams in scintillating form. However, ultimately, mid table Puddlemere were out-chased, out-beaten and out-seeked, as the Harpies took the victory 300 – 240.
Elsewhere, Tutshill fell to a strong Kenmare side, with red sparkings given to Tutshill Chaser Robert Parsnicky for blatantly punching Kenmare’s Colin McClarken – younger brother of Puddlemere’s own Seeker who failed to see out a victory with Falmouth. Ultimately, according to fan response the Red Sparking seems to be what served to end the game for Tutshill, with the team originally looking far stronger. Of course, playing with less numbers left Tutshill at a disadvantage, and ultimately they were put to the sword by a very lucky, very resurgent Kenmare team.
Finally, in our round up of this week’s exciting Quidditch News in regards to the British and Irish League, the Arrows managed to put Montrose to the sword in an scintillating 180 – 0 game, the two mid table teams showing their quality or rather lack thereof. Montrose themselves have had a struggling season with a number of their players from their last brilliant season where they ended third in the league and earned European Cup Qualification no longer at the club; Zeze Temesin now plays her Beating Game for the Braga Broomfleet in Portugal, whilst both Kevin Cosata and Nigel Rhymeswick have both retired aged 36 and 42 respectively from their roles of Chaser and Keeper. Without such linchpins in the side, they have looked mighty average all season, and weren’t enough to keep the Arrows from putting them to shame with a clean sheet.
Elsewhere in the world, after a tremendous display against the Nantes Knights, I managed to snag an interview with French and Hellhounds Captain Quincy Villenueve and South African Captain and Hellhounds Vice Captain Lood Reinach. Of course, two names that won’t come as a surprise, Villeneuve currently ranked as the Best Chaser in the World, and being named by most as not only a French Prodigy, but possibly the Greatest Chaser the Country has ever produced – a statement only further bolstered by his most recent victory against the Knights, which took his all time points record since signing with the Hellhounds to 10040 after just 3 years of professional play, a point scoring average of 140 per game. Reinach of course sits as one of the powerhouses of African Quidditch Sport, if not World Quidditch, sitting with giants Yamata Nakamura of Japan and Valencia de la Costa of Brazil at the top of the Beating circuit.
I began my interview in a pretty office at the Parisian Hellhound’s grounds. Nestled within a small park hidden from Muggle,view, the stadium dominates the skyline. Nearby is the Stade Francais, a Muggle stadium dwarfed by the Hellhound’s own pitch, though of course shrouded from muggle view even from above. Such charms must cost a fortune I find myself thinking, and the skill required must be immense. However, it is all part of Paris’ charm. They know that they’re the best, and so they’ve staked out the capital as their own hunting grounds.
It doesn’t take long at all before I am joined by Villenueve and Reinach, both cutting an impressive figure as they enter the room. I note that the Hellhounds Captain doesn’t seem overly interested to be here, though as Reinach’s hand comes away from mine, firmly shaken, he offers his own as a gift rather than a courtesy, though is polite all the same.
“Hi, Quincy, Lood – hope you don’t mind me referring to you by your first names. It’s not often that I find myself around Quidditch Royalty! Now, you’ve had an amazing season, Quincy you just scored 300 points on your own against Nantes, Reinach, you enforced the game as usual and kept Nantes effectively out of it…how does it feel being given such praise over your play by the media?”
Reinach responded first, he seemed to be the more talkative of the pair, or rather, the captain seemed to have other things on his mind.
“Not a problem pal, you can call us whatever you prefer. I don’t think we let the media get to us at all. You have to understand that on our team we’re basically playing with an entire squad of internationals. Whether it’s France like Quince, Damien or Gavroche, or Nigeria and Tonga like Kolani and Semi, we’re constantly in the limelight. You have to understand that signing for a club like the Hellhounds…it comes with its own baggage, you understand? If I sign for Paris, I know that I’m going to get a lot of media attention. It’s what I do with that attention that is so important, yes?”
“And what do you think you do with that attention Reinach, beyond of course topping all of the stats tables in French Beating?”
Reinach laughs, and Quincy cracks a smile at this also. It seems that they both appreciate their team doing well. Passionate for the sport, a true love for the game, despite claims that Paris are out for the money – which of course they earn a lot of.
“I think a lot of my time outside of Quidditch is spent in South Africa, campaigning for an improvement of Quidditch Standards there.”
“You would say standards are fairly low, even though the nation produces so many top quality players? You only have to look at the Spanish League to see the mass of South African players plying their trade in Europe.”
“Of course. Uh…I think it’s a very interesting question. One of the things you have to understand about South African Quidditch is South African Wizarding Culture in general. You have to understand that like…a lot of us are Muggleborn, from families who immigrated and what not. It’s a real tapestry, I think we’ve only got about…5 pureblood families there? Compared to France where they’re all over the place. Europe has that old sort of…prestige about it? I don’t know, I don’t really care about it all, but it affects sport. In South African Muggle Culture obviously we quite like a big hit, we like contact and so our most popular sport among a lot of circles is Rugby, I mean – I don’t know if you’ve ever seen it before,” I hadn’t. “But we’re one of the best teams in the world.”
“And you think this translates to South African Wizarding Values as well?”
“In sport certainly. You have to understand that most of us have had interaction with the South African Muggle World because our families are Muggle, or our partners are Muggle or Halfblood or something. It’s hard to sort of…stay in a sphere of ignorance in South Africa. And so, you get those attitudes from Sport transfer. Now, a lot of people in South Africa prefer to watch Quodpot, because it’s seen as more aggressive, more entertaining. It doesn’t largely hinge on a snitch catch! So I spend a lot of time in South Africa campaigning for more funding for Quidditch Teams. I mean, last year we saw the Greyton Grootslangs nearly have to fold. Luckily they’re doing great now thanks to Third Party payments, but…it should be up to the league there to finance them in times of difficulty, not conglomerates.”
“Of course of course. Now, back on topic with the French Quidditch League, the pair of you and your team have gone from strength to strength. Obviously taking this title will mean that you’ve won it twice in a row. It seems that everyone is chomping at the bit to play you and knock you off the pedestal. Recently Agencourt have gone from strength to strength, and there’s a lot of people in England who see the ex-Falcon Adam Fletcher as a strong cause in the Agencourt’s rise to bottom of the table with the Toulouse Krakens to Fifth Position, obviously taking a scalp in the form of Bordeaux this weekend just past. It seems whilst Fletcher didn’t really get to show his stuff at Falmouth proper, he’s been a monumental force of nature in the French League at the moment, do you have any thoughts about this at all?”
Lood speaks up once again, and I note that Quincy seems even more bored of the conversation topic, rocking on his cheer and staring at the ceiling.
“I think they’ve had a really good season, and I think it’s very impressive at how well they’ve played. It also shows sheer perseverance and how much a single signing can pull together 7 decent players and turn them into a powerful team. A unit. However, in terms of this Saturday’s outcome, I’m afraid it’s fairly simple to guess. I’m going to break his team, like we did with Nantes. There’s no /victory/ about it. I suspect they’ll be needing new brooms after this saturday.”
“Strong words from a strong man, Quincy, do you have anything to add?”
At long last the captain leans forward, scratching his neck slightly, like a child embarrassed, before speaking up in his thick French baritone.
“Listen…listen…I am uhhhhhh not int’rested…uhhh in discussing zis Englishman zat you ‘ave all…/praised/ as zome uhhh…shining beacon on la Ligue Française de Quidditch…uhhhh…ze matter of a fact, is zat if ‘e was playing in a team wiz any /decent/ players..mod’rately good, ‘e would not make it into ze side. At Paris, I doubt ‘e would even make eet onto ze uhhhh…Medical staff…scouting staff…or cleaning staff…it is quite simple…and easy to ze, ‘e is a decent player, among…uhhhh…poubelle…’ow you say?…uhhh…/trash/…rejects…And uhhh…I zink zat when we uhh play zem, zis saturday, you /will/ see ‘ow a proper team plays…”
“Powerful words. We’re all looking forward to this match then! Thanks so much for your time you two, good luck on Saturday!”
As the two men left the office and I finished writing down the transcript you read now, you can’t help but feel not only an air of tension but excitement as well. It seems that Agencourt have thrown down the challenge, and Paris are eager to match them.
Most interesting to note however about this matchup is the very man himself, Adam Fletcher, recently interviewed after helping at Hogsmeade. However, a recent inside report noted that what the interview failed to mention is Fletchers currently blossoming romance with one of Hogwarts own Professors, the man caught flirting and even exchanging a rather steamy kiss after a few drinks in what remains of The Three Broomsticks.
Whether or not this might serve to distract Fletcher from victory on Saturday is not to be seen, or perhaps the apple of his eye might be in Paris itself, watching from the stands.
The Parisian Hellhounds kick off against Agencourt at Home on Saturday 16/05/2027.