This appears to be an anonymous letter to the snakes, it arrived upon our desk within an envelope labeled, “Snakes in the Hole.”
A new year, and the same old problems. Slytherins can’t seem to get it together. Every year my own house seems to start off with negative points, and continue to struggle throughout the year. It is as if they want to be caught doing their dirty deeds. The Ravenclaws are better at holding true to our reputation than we are. Cunning snakes, we are not. Were we cunning, we’d have no problem earning and keeping our house points, regardless of what we get up to after curfew hits. Were we cunning, there’d be no proof of our misdeeds.
This year the hour glasses indicate Slytherin bypassed by all other houses. Ambitious, cunning, achievement oriented. I have to wonder to myself where these traits are within my house. Surely you were not just sorted here for purity of blood or want of mind? I implore you all to ask yourselves why you are in Slytherin house. Search yourself for what trait the hat saw in you, and live up to it’s predictions. So many great wizards and witches have graced our common room, and yet we continue to disappoint. Even the great Merlin! You’ll not convince me that he was a tosser wandering about and openly hexing students in the Great Hall. That he of all wizards was a blood purist.
I leave you with this, my fellow housemates.
Or perhaps in Slytherin,
You’ll make your real friends.
Those cunning folks use any means,
To achieve their ends.
Remember to be cunning. Band together. Achieve your means, but be smart about it.