Hogwarts Announces New Head
The Hogwarts Board of Governors has announced Abaddon Blightly has been confirmed as Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The experienced witch is said to be thrilled to step into the pointy toed shoes that Aoife O’Keeffe left behind when returning to the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophies.
The Board of Governors have appointed long standing Ministry of Magic employee Angus Mairtfheòil as Deputy Headmaster. With a long and illustrious career at the Ministry behind him the wizard reportedly has the magical chops to withstand the slog of Hogwarts. However The Daily Prophet has heard of many raised eyebrows regarding another senior Ministry official being apparently planted into a high ranking role at the prestigious wizarding school, only adding to rumours that Soo likes to have his fingers in all the high ranking pies.
Time will tell if this duo manages to wrangle through a school year with no deaths, dismemberments, or devilry.
- Saffron Macauley, current events
Spellfire in Godric’s Hollow
What began as a regular everyday morning in the carefully monitored and mixed community of Godrics Hollow quickly turned into a moment of chaos that severely threatened the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy, followed by two arrests.
As a village that is welcoming to both Wixen and Muggles it’s not too uncommon for the residents to mingle with each other while our Wixen fellows are very careful when it comes to revealing their magical traits, so when an excitable American, Jane Smith, started filming the area for her “Tick Tock” and “Insta”, apart from a few eyebrows being raised – as this Muggle had no issues with drawing as much attention to herself as possible, there wasn’t a whole lot of suspicion or danger to the matter at first.
This rapidly changed when a local man, Timothy Burr, called her out for her activities. Burr moved on, but not before members of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes were alerted by the Head Auror and her Work Experience Student to the risk of possible breaches if Smith was left unchecked. The situation with Smith became only one of two incidents as it was not the last we would see of Burr given he turned his attention to another man who, investigators found out later on, was only a nomadic wizard passing through.
Shouting at the top of his voice, Burr proceeded to the nomadic wizard, Taylor Boswell, and out right accused him of selling him a cursed teapot set which was used to serve his future mother-in-law tea. It resulted in the unfortunate woman spending a great deal of time in St Mungos, and Burr himself excluded from the family and his engagement to be interrupted, if not dissolved entirely.
Boswell made attempts to wave off Burr, claiming he didn’t sell anyone any teapot sets, let alone cursed ones and tried to move on, only for Burr to draw out his wand and cast. Mind you, this is all happening only feet away from the slowly evolving situation with Smith and her recording camera.
A duel, of sorts, broke out between the pair of wizards, with Burr attacking and Boswell attempting to keep such an aggressive man from coming at him. With DMLE already on the scene they were quick to react and spring into action, but some have to wonder how much help they were in the beginning? Though their intentions were undoubtedly well placed, our very own Head Auror and her Summer Work Experience Student came out with wands whipping about and spells being shouted for all to hear.
If the DMLE’s shouting of various spells was not bad enough on its own, the pair wasted no time in potentially making a much bigger situation for DMAC as their spells missed both Burr and Boswell more often than not, sending them flying off into the distance. We know for sure at least one spell sent from Burr, intended for Boswell, struck an unsuspecting Muggle on her way home from the Corner Shop when a spell of his also missed, Merlin only knows where the badly aimed spells from the DMLE ended up?
Eventually spells did start to connect, both Burr and Boswell were arrested and taken off for further investigation, and by that point DMAC had also arrived on scene with their newly appointed Department Head leading the charge to fix the mess left behind. There is no word yet on the duel between the two wizards, or even if the accusations against nomadic Boswell were accurate, but if nothing else this is a story to remind everyone: Be mindful of what you purchase!
Sterling Raggs, Magical Crimes Reporter
Diagon Alley in Panic – Dark Omen for Wizarding World?
With the reopening of Green’s Apothecary (Formerly Slug and Jigger) on Diagon Alley and the plentiful games and enjoyment to be found one might have thought that the reopening would have been lauded a success, were it not for the dark omen that rose above the skies of London in the latter half of the event.
Eye witness reports state a student of Hogwarts was taken ill in the Alley itself, with a number of other students coming to their aid in an attempt to administer some form of first aid. However, moments after their recovery a dark streak of smoke covered the sky – a telltale mark of Dark Wizards, once used by those in the close circle of He Who Must Not Be Named. What this means for the Wizarding World is unclear, but the sight of the Dark Wizard’s actions was found rather quickly by eyewitnesses, who state that there was some sort of conflict at Greyhaven Close off of Knockturn Alley.
Greyhaven Close – a Wixen-only cul-de-sac just off of Knockturn Alley permanently enshrouded by an old magical rainstorm – was the site of what appears to be a rather brutal attack, with part of a building blown apart by some powerful magic. At the scene was a House Elf and one student whose name was not revealed to the Daily Prophet. It would appear that both are unharmed, however the House Elf in particular seems to have experienced some form of shock, as they often do in times of conflict.
Speaking with a St Mungo’s representative, they had this to say about the student in their custody: “Whilst we cannot at this time reveal their identity nor disclose the status of their condition, St Mungo’s wants everyone to know that we are here to care for all of our patients, no matter for how long. This individual will be given the world class care that St Mungo’s is known for. That is a promise.”
When prompted with the question as to whether the victim would make a full recovery, St Mungo’s commented. “We will see, but it is not likely.”
What does this mean for the Wizarding World? With some more hysterical members of our world shouting about the return of He Who Must Not Be Named, what really happened in Greyhaven Close that day? Only time shall tell…
Madness at Madame Miggles’
Late Thursday evening what can only be described as a “Muggle-esk Brawl” broke out between two full grown wizards who, by all accounts, appeared to be fighting over the same witch.
As Hogsmeade locals and visitors warped up their shopping for the day, many of them were given an unexpected front row seat to this most unlikely love triangle. Law Enforcement were not required on the scene, as it would seem the two men tired themselves out, but various stories from witnesses on the street suggest that one man, who was described as a half-goblin from multiple accounts, came storming out of Madame Miggles’ in a rage about some other man who had been seen with a woman he had supposedly proposed to.
When the second man in question approached the half-goblin, who himself looked like he might actually pass as the son of a Hag, the story took on quite an unusual twist. Apparently he had also proposed! An odd dynamic for a love triangle perhaps, but we don’t judge! This woman, although lucky enough to have two males attempting to ask for her hand in marriage, never made an appearance in the street and is still a mystery to us.
In the end, both the males went their separate ways and Hogsmeade was spared the embarrassment that Godrics Hollow had to endure only days before.
My question to you all is this: Assuming sons of Hags are a thing and the Hag won’t eat the flesh of their own son, who would you choose? The Hag’s son, or the half-goblin? Or will you add yet another twist to this drama-filled love triangle and go for the witch, too?
– Damon Volt, Freelance Reporter
Scandalous Hot-Shots!
Hot on the heels of the 2030 Quidditch World Cup, fans are overjoyed – or devastated depending on your point of view – by the news floating around.
Officially broken here first; The news of an engagement between Appleby beater Turlough Parsons and Scotland National Team Jockie McEachern!
Hearts shatter across the land as the well known and loved Parsons finally makes the difficult move to settle down and leave his days of playing the field behind. Figuratively, of course! Many fans are wondering just how well this union will go, and how long it will last when throughout the duration of the entire World Cup Parsons was seen spending extended time with a number of women across the professional teams, including both captains!
Time will tell how well this engagement goes, but one thing is for sure, in a world full of troubles, it is nice to get some good news!
In other news, Parsons was not the only one working his way through the ladies at the Quidditch World Cup.
Perhaps there is something going on in the minds of the German team’s male players?
Caryxander Mordushku, beater for Pride of Portree, wasted no time in spending around six hundred galleons in a single night of bidding during the second of two auction events put on by the Department of Magical Games and Sports. Not only does this set its own record of the most amount of galleons spent in a single night on dates, it also comes very close to beating Parsons’ top number of feminine interests, which at present we are topping at five!
Unlike his fellow beater, it is currently unknown what, if any, love interests or engagements Mordushku may or may not have. That aside, surely the Department of Magical Games and Sports are beyond thrilled to have those galleons, and are eager to have him attend other events.
– Robby McPhly
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