Welcome to Weekly Portents, your one and only source for all things prophetic!
In Weekly Portents I, the one and only Riven Redwhisper, will be giving a special reading to let you know what to expect at Hogwarts in the coming days, weeks, months, and beyond! But that’s not all, dear reader! The cards tell me you should expect much much more in the future including personal readings to answer questions you’ve submitted, tips and tricks to improve your own Divinations game, and I even have an interview lined up with a real live seer! Yes, I know it’s been months since I first promised all these things but rest assured, they WILL happen! Eventually!
What are the Sooths saying? What are the Oracles orating? What are the augers articulating? Check in each week to find out!
Yeah yeah, time for another bloody week of all this future rubbish so sit down and shut up and we’ll get this done.
Can’t even remember what I did last week or the week before or whenever I last wrote one of these stupid things but can only guess I was horribly wrong and created a terrible mess for the lot of you.
It’s 3:30AM and I just woke up with a bloody headache and now I can’t fall back asleep and I’m that sort of angry tired where you want to smash something with your fists but can’t quite be bothered to. There a word for that? Tangry, maybe?
Right, we’re doing dream interpretation so I don’t have to get out of bed.
Dreamt I was thrown in a river. One of those nasty rocky rivers where the water drags you all over and kills you. I could see way further up that the water got calm and peaceful again but no matter how hard I swam I couldn’t get there. Then I was dragged under and I couldn’t get back out and the world went dark and that’s when I woke up.
I hate these stupid water metaphors.
Right, so the lesson is that no matter how bloody hard you swim, life will always drag you back underwater and drown you.
If you’d like a reading by our very exclusive team of expert or if you just have questions about the art of Divinations itself, please send an owl to the one and only Riven Redwhisper and all your questions shall be answered! (( https://forms.gle/ocpV9iu7C3Axp4kE9 )) Please note that your questions will be published in the article but your identity will remain a secret unless you request otherwise. My mailbox is also always open to fan-mail, feedback, admiration, awards, gifts, or anything else you’d like to send!