Welcome to Weekly Portents, your one and only source for all things prophetic! In Weekly Portents I, the one and only Riven Redwhisper, will be giving a special reading to let you know what to expect at Hogwarts in the coming days, weeks, months, and beyond! But that’s not all, dear reader! The cards tell me you should expect much much more in the future including personal readings to answer questions you’ve submitted, tips and tricks to improve your own Divinations game, and I even have an interview lined up with a real live seer!
What are the Sooths saying? What are the Oracles orating? What are the augers articulating? Check in each week to find out!
Well that was a big fat waste of everyone’s time and energy. I’m referring, of course, to the supposed skeleton war that turned out to be nothing but a publicity stunt for the Halloween Bash. Not only a waste of time but a bloody idiotic lesson for a school whose job it is to teach us how to stay alive. This time it was a joke, sure, but don’t assume that you can treat every mystery as some harmless prank. We’ve faced some very real danger in this castle over the years and if you don’t believe me just ask your prefects or professors. Stay alert and for Merlin’s sake keep your bloody wand with you at all times!
Enough of that, let’s get on with this. Join me and we’ll look into the future I guess. Just insert your own spooky and mysterious platitudes here because I’m not in the mood for it this week.
What should we ask? Is there anything happening in the next few days? Anything important at all that we should ask the universe for guidance on? Guess there is that little match of the sports this Saturday. The first sportsball of the year too so that’s exciting.
Gryffindor vs Slytherin. Let’s be real though. Both teams should hang up their brooms right now because we all know that Ravenclaw is winning the cup this year anyway. However, just in case they do decide to make a feeble attempt at it, let’s ask the heavens to give the players some advice.
Oh great powers of the universe, what guidance can you give the quidditch players about this week’s match?
Tonight I’ll be reading and interpreting some tea leaves. No mysterious locales under the pale moonlight this week. Instead I’m resting next to the furnace in my cozy warm dorm and wearing my fuzziest pyjamas. Just the right place for enjoying a nice hot cup of tea.
Dunno if one type of tea works better than others for readings about quidditch but tonight I’ll be using traditional black tea out of a shiny white teacup. It’s plain and bitter and I’m not much a fan but I stomach it just for you, dear reader. I sip away until I see the bottom of the teacup and what do I find!? A messy glob of tea-leaves.
Guess I’m supposed to swirl it about until I see something though. It took me several minutes and multiple tries but I think I found it. Two messes of tea-leaves that, according to the book, represent the hunter and the hunted. Which is which though? Seems like where they landed matters.
Let’s see… ah ok, it’s hard to say who is the hunter and who is the hunted here but this essentially warns of hiding from your bullies. You should stay cautious and play smart but if you hide or run away then you’ll miss your chance to win. After all, “you miss all the shots you don’t take” and all that.
Then again, sometimes “the only winning move is not to play” so like I said before, you should all just hang up your brooms now to avoid suffering the humiliating and crushing defeat at the hands of Ravenclaw later in the year. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Oh, I also have some exciting news! Keep an eye on Nora’s Corner for some special Arithmancy relationship love column sort of thing she’s doing. Sounds like she’ll be using numbers or maths or something to examine relationships from the past, present, and perhaps even the future! Normally I’d throw down over Nora stepping vaguely into my turf like that but numbers and I don’t get along too great so Arithmancy is all hers!
Anyway, that’s enough rubbish for this week. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you in… the future!
If you have a question you’d like answered in Weekly Portents please send a self addressed stamped owl ((notecard)) to Riven Redwhisper ((luka5555 resident)). Your identity will remain anonymous unless you specifically request otherwise. Unfortunately we cannot guarantee the results of these readings but rest assured that we’ll do everything in our power to answer as accurately as possible.