Holyhead Continue Strong Season
Ballycastle Fall Into the Eye of the Storm
Montrose’s Mastery Finally Broken
Welcome to this weeks’ edition of Quaffles & Bludgers here at the Daily Prophet, home to all things professional Quidditch! With last week being a much larger issue than usual, we were looking forward to making things just a touch more bite-sized after complaints that the veritable novel we produced the previously was far too large to hide within the broadsheets on the Muggle underground trains! And so, to answer you dear readers we have a nice short summary on the weeks’ sporting events. Enjoy!
To kick off the week’s action, the Wigtown Wanderers took on the Holyhead Harpies, with Wigtown hoping to take a scalp in the League leaders yet finding little luck against an agile and goal-hungry Holyhead team. Unable to lock down Holyhead’s Chasers – who lost no strength after losing one of their number to the Parisian Hellhounds over the course of the Winter Transfer Window – successfully, Wigtown had to rely on sheer ferocity to power themselves forwards, managing to get ahead of Holyhead but just pulling up short of the points needed to keep themselves from a loss by snitch capture. Holyhead 560 – 460 Wigtown.
Elsewhere, the Tutshill Tornadoes once again welcomed Ballycastle to their home, the Tornadoes confident after a few weeks of fantastic results that they would be able to put down the resurgent Bats. Ballycastle came into the game apprehensive, as their record against Tutshill was their worst in the league, Tutshill being a strange David to their Goliath. Regardless both of the teams clashed against each other, and Tutshill managed to show the entire world why they were so confident. With a game that was as easy for them as taking candy from a baby, and a fanbase that had to deal with Goblin protestors entering at the 43rd minute of the game to protest the situation surrounding Gringotts and Goblin ownership of the bank – one might be able to tell why I’m not a political commentator – Tutshill managed to not only defeat the Bats, but absolutely dominate them and refuse them a position in the top 4 that they crave so, with the European Cup due to open for another exciting period of European clashes. Tutshill 670 – 120 Ballycastle.
Elsewhere, Portree took on the Banchory Bangers, aiming to keep their resplendent performances up. Racing out of the changing rooms and ignoring all of the flare and the suave tricks that the Bangers filed their performances with Portree began to spell certain doom for Banchory, breaching the 150 lead mark within twenty minutes of the game and locking Banchory out of potential victory-via-Seeker for the entire rest of the game. At long last Banchory caught the snitch to save themselves from the humiliation of an even more brutal defeat, leaving the scoreline a rather Pride dominated one. Pride of Portree 650 – 390 Banchory Bangers.
In a closer affair than Portree’s domination of the flashy Banchory Bangers came the match between the Montrose Magpies and the Kenmare Kestrels, both teams on fantastic form in the last few weeks. Fans watching could feel the tension in the air, almost as though it were like lightning. Almost reminiscent of a cup final, it was obvious that both sides wanted to hold onto their streaks, and as such played out of their skins. In a game that went on for six hours both teams only managed to score a joint 58 goals between them, amounting at around 6 goals scored every hour. Despite the lack of scoreline activity you would be surprised at just how much action went on in this game, with both teams showing their desperation to retain their spot and their streak. With both teams competing to their best ability, it was hard to tell who was getting the upperhand until the Montrose Magpies began to get a few extra points on the board. With some quick work from the Kenmare Beaters however, the Kestrels managed to keep themselves in the game, eventually scoring a couple of extra points themselves and then managing to snaffle up the snitch, taking the victory for themselves and breaking Montrose’s streak! Kenmare 320 – 210 Montrose!
Next up on the list of this week’s games came the Falmouth Falcons, ever eager to regain some of their lost power on the table after their tumultuous drop from second to fourth position. Hoping to get their season back on track after three weeks of back to back losses, the Falcons travelled out to Caerphilly, and almost immediately the problems arose. With Barry Fletcher reportedly having some difficulty in the changing room with some of his players – with the likes of Jasper Baxter, one of the team’s mainstays giving him grief over his contract reportedly – it was no surprise to fans as Caerphilly managed to notch 11 shots on target against Falcons, translating into a near whitewash for them. Working quickly, and with both of Falmouth’s beaters putting real effort into it, the team managed to regain 10 of the 110 points that Caerphilly had managed to notch against them before the Falcon’s Seeker successfully caught the snitch after 3 hours of a mostly boring game, ending the match. Falcons 160 – 110 Catapults.
In the penultimate game of the week’s roundup came Puddlemere United, hoping to get another victory upon their scoresheet and steal another scalp. Facing off against the Wimbourne Wasps, they had a tough ask in their incredibly close game that saw rookie Beater Ayo Onyilgowo perform some exceptional quality Quidditch for all to see and revere. Whilst most likely the most exciting game of the League this week, it ended up being an incredibly close affair that saw a snitch capture closing the game out against Puddlemere’s favor, despite how well they may have played. Wimbourne Wasps 290 – 240 Puddlemere United.
Chudley Cannons. Where can one begin with them? Owing themselves to nearly 20 years of ridicule amongs the Quidditch community and being known for having once been a staple of European Quidditch and the upper echelon’s of the British idea of the sport, they’ve been nothing but old news since. Hampered with money problems and having no star power behind the dregs of their squad, many are half surprised that the British and Irish Quidditch League (B&IQL) and the Department for Magical Games & Sports even allows them to continue competing on the risk that it waters down the rest of our league’s quality having to face such dire play. Chudley have taken the brunt of all of these attitudes, and at long last it seems as though they have finally grown a thick skin, and a need to push themselves further and further. Heading into this week’s contest, the Chudley Cannons found themselves facing off against a capable Appleby side who had once led the league to the rest of Britain’s surprise. A surefire bet to have been defeated with ease and cast aside as Appleby moved to repair their efforts to gain European Qualification. Chudley had no interest in this however, and with energy from them that no one in the league despite what they tell you believed that they had, Chudley only allowed Appleby a scant 8 goals before locking them completely out of the game and dominating them. With splashes of old club legend Mark Whistlehoff glimmering in their play as Chudley unleashed old British strategies and tricks upon the opposition, the players who were so frequently derided as the ‘worst in the country, including fresh Hogswarts rookies’ showed a real touch of class as they demolished the Arrows. Chudley 500 – Appleby 80.
That rounds up this week’s edition of Quaffles & Bludgers! We hope to see you next time for more excitement around the best sport in the world played in the best nation in the world! Ta-ta for now!