People keep thinking that I am saying things about them to others, and honestly I am getting tired of assumptions. I want for people to be able to come and talk to me instead of thinking I despise them or dislike them. What do you think I should do to just be more approachable to talk to about things, instead of people walking around with an axe to grind?
— Unapproachable
Dear Unapproachable,
On the one hand you are faced with a situation that it’s sometimes best to just write off, especially if someone is determined to think ill of you. On the other hand, there are certain things you can do to prove people wrong about your intentions. One of the best ways to make yourself approachable is to approach other people; sometimes that can get discouraging if the other person ends up not responding the way you hoped. Yet by being the one to make the move to talk things out with someone, you are proving that you have an open mind and an open heart. Give it a try sometime, especially with those who don’t like you; the results may pleasantly surprise you.
How do you move past disappointment, such as when something you’ve planned for a year has a change made out of your control? Like a ceremony that you invited school friends to, who all said they would come, but now they are unable to make it. I don’t want to inadvertently start pushing my frustrations on them, but I’m just so disappointed.
— Farmboy
Dear Farmboy,
Unfortunately, life is full of disappointments. As my Grandfather used to say: Life’s hard, and then you die. But I would encourage you to seek out compromises or alternative ways of including those friends in whatever it is you have planned. It might not be the way you originally wanted it done, but there might still be a way. Good luck!
I remember first year; how new and exciting everything felt. There was the bad side, though, too: The feeling of being constantly ignored. So I guess the question for you would be: Do you recommend a polite way to mention to some of the older kids that you have been feeling ignored? I used to enjoy my time hanging out with them, but now not so much.
— Flustered
Dear Flustered,
I understand how you feel! One thing to keep in mind is that people change as they get older, but it also never hurts to let them know that you miss the times you all used to hang out. I’m sure they will sympathise if you find a way to reminisce over something fun you did together.
