Broomsticks, bludgers, golden snitches. There’s no sport in the wizarding world as exciting as Quidditch! This week, we have some surprising and upsetting news. We’re sure that readers have all heard of the untimely death of Ballycastle Bats, Haisley Rothenberg at the hand of a vicious werewolf under the Easter full moon. Haisley was a personal friend of mine. She was poised and graceful, kind and selfless- a fact proven as she died in the defence of a number of children. We at the Daily Prophet would like to send our thoughts and positive vibes to the Rothenberg family, as well as anyone affected by this horrific tragedy. And I personally would like to remind readers to make sure their thoughts on the werewolves that threaten our society are heard by submitting them to the Minister of Magic, Matthew Soo and to Head of Magical Games and Sports, Lark Rosewood. Moving on to the matchweeks, I have Calista Earnshaw and Christian Hastings helping with this week’s coverage, and with that announcement, we’ll be launching straight into a recap of the matches!
Appleby Arrows 200 to 300 Holyhead Harpies
‘The Rematch of the Rematch’ we all have been waiting for is here: Appleby Arrows vs Holyhead Harpies. With a win each, this third episode of a series of matches wasn’t the happy ending the Arrows were hoping for. With their losing streak continuing, the team from Appleby has at least made it better than in previous games, but still not up to a level that would satisfy at least their fans or their Captain Turlough Parsons. Still very much in the mindset of ‘needing holidays’, the Beater played his part decently, despite his Seeker Everett Butcher not seeming to find the right direction towards the pursuit of the Golden Snitch. On the other side of the pitch, Captain and Seeker Kelsey ‘Kelpie’ Galloway flew through brooms, teammates and opposite players and captured the prize in order to win the game, something that was clearly needed, as her team was losing 150 to 200 until then. We do have to wonder though, looking back now with the death of Haisley Rothenberg in mind, should werewolf Persephone Vitrac be allowed to fly with the team?
Pride of Portree 190 to 360 Ballycastle Bats
None of us could have known that this match would be Haisley Rothenberg’s last. The keeper did put on a hell of a show for us all though, allowing Portree a measly 40 points to Ballycastle’s 360. Portree’s beloved keeper put in the work to make sure she left a lasting impression, even if it was done unknowingly. The rest of the team was in fine form as well, with chaser Avonlea Fox surprisingly leading the charge this week. With Ivers and Mordushku to clear her path, Fox put down a surprising 23 of Ballycastle’s 36 goals single handedly. Chasers Elliott Reid and Valentine Weekes contributed two of Pride’s four goals each, but Hayoon Seol seemed to be off her game, unable to block the onslaught of goals from Ballycastle. Aiming to end her team’s embarrassment, Marfa Parma captured the snitch, ending the match.
We reached out to the Rothenberg family and received this statement:
Haisley’s passing was a tragedy that could have been avoided. The violence inflicted on the Rothenberg family that night will leave scars for years to come. As for her fans, she thought the world of them. However, it is absolutely shameful to see former teammates of hers attempting to monetize this tragedy for attention and profit. Haisley’s funeral had to be held privately due to these shameful individuals. My words to any werewolves reading this are simple. Be mindful of the power you wield to disfigure someone for life with a simple backhand. Take your wolfsbane. If you cannot afford it, lock yourself up. If you cannot find a place to safely lock yourself, come to the DRCMC. We can provide you a place to safely spend the night. If you do otherwise, you are as much a murderer as the werewolf that attacked Haisley. You can say the forest is as remote as you like, but accidents happen- and this kind of tragedy is so easy to avoid. As for Miss Vitrac, heroic as her actions of the past may have been, her troubling tendency towards violence that I’ve seen in the past year does concern me. I certainly hope she takes the words I spoke of earlier to heart.
– Anastasia Rothenberg
Falmouth Falcons 490 to 40 Wimbourne Wasps
Not many comments can be made from the Wasps’ side apart from ‘terrible’ and ‘when are they going to replace their second Beater?’. It is obvious that the Falcons did take this advantage of a six-players team and abused it until they emerged more than victorious. A match that most of the Wimbourne Wasps fans want to certainly send to oblivion, after all who wants to remember forty-one minutes of Hell on the Pitch? As per the Falcons, this almost flawless conquest only catapulted them even more towards the top of the League. Does this mean they have decided to not let the Harpies come through? Only time will tell.
“Of course, we want to support Laufreyn during this trying time. We understand grief. But he doesn’t tell us he’s no showing and we don’t arrange a reserve. We keep having to play one man down. It’s not good strategy. If he doesn’t show to practice this week, we’re going to have to take a beater on loan. Risteárd Hall from Wigtown maybe.”
– Wimbourne Wasps Team Manager, Catherine Hiddlesborough
Chudley Cannons 320 to 390 Montrose Magpies
It was beautiful while it lasted. Chudley Cannons fans were convinced Dan Powers lived in Sayaka Satō’s skills, as she made her way around a team that seemed to have tripped into the depths of the bottom of the League. Week by week, this Seeker brought hope, but as everybody should be aware: the higher they rise, the harder they fall. Despite the shocking loss, Cannons’ Chasers Clarity Terrell and Casimir Utkin made sure their team put on a good fight -and show- during the match. Aided by Chaser Consus Król, the trio kept a quaffle possession of 81%, and had a good advantage of 320 over 240 for a whole period of three minutes. Unfortunately, Magpies’ Beater Peter Riches decided it was his time to shine, and with a precise movement, he bludgered Satō off of her broom, thus giving his own Seeker Arethousa Ainsworth the perfect excuse to capture the Snitch and put the game to an end.
“Adam Fletcher who…?”
-Peter Riches, Montrose Magpies Beater
Wigtown Wanderers 250 to 660 Tutshill Tornadoes
The Wanderers are certainly the new Tornadoes of the season. And the Tornadoes… Well, the scores do speak for themselves. Led by Elliot Nelson, the Trio of Chasers from the Tutshill team made sure to show their worth as they doubled Wigtown’s goals and score. It seems Nelson is more than keen to show that, just like punk, the Tornadoes aren’t dead. And he might as well prove himself right -in a couple of seasons. Highlights of the match include Captain Lacey Bolton capturing the Snitch for her team, as Wigtown’s Darragh ‘Danger Zone’ Daly bravely attempted to stop her, only to miss his target by less than an inch. Perhaps next time -or year-, Wanderers!
Banchory Bangers 130 to 680 Puddlemere United
Midfield teams Banchory Bangers and Puddlemere United had an intense game this week. Intense for the Bangers, at least, as they definitely failed to keep track of United’s movements on the pitch. With goals from Ulysses Ellington and Doriend Rayne -as Josias Saylor seemed way more worried in offering proper fanservice-, the Bangers barely reached 130 points, as United kept destroying the hoops of Keeper Merrick Fabienne. It was clear it wasn’t the Frenchman’s day and his misery only concluded when Puddlemere’s Seeker Callum McClarken caught the Golden Snitch, ninety-three minutes after the start of the game.
Caerphilly Catapults 300 to 290 Kenmare Kestrels
Valiant effort from the Kestrels, as they tried to fight with all of their bats, brooms and defenses against the Catapults. As a matter of fact, they held the fort quite well during most of the match. The Griffin Duo aided by Chaser Colin McClarken scored beautifully, as Caerphilly’s Keeper Mieke Königsmann seemed to fail in predicting the direction their quaffles would be sent from. She wasn’t the only one off on the Catapults’ side. Beaters Radek Mercer and Jayme Pearce only found their bludger pace fifteen minutes before the match was done. Preventing Kenmare’s Griffin Force to score more goals, they also seemed to attack simultaneously -and in the right moment- Golden Boy Hall Mynatt just before he was about to catch the snitch, making him out of his trajectory. A terrible loss for the Kestrels that Catapults’ Seeker Toutorix Tracy knew how to take for his advantage, as he flew behind the Golden Prize and brought home a very much needed victory.
“…”
-Toutorix Tracy, Caerphilly Catapults Seeker, once more at loss of words -involuntarily