Life Beyond Hogwarts; Undecided

At the start of my fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I was certain I’d become a writer of some sort. I’d previously been told I should consider a career in magical law or investigation due to my vexing knack for argument and persistent curiosity, but the events of my previous year and my family history had pushed the idea of work for the Ministry of Magic far from my mind and consideration. All the same, I worked toward several O.W.L.s, regardless of practicality, for that was the most impressive thing to do. I spent little time assessing, instead blindly studying.

By the end of my fifth year, I was certain I’d become a wandmaker. It certainly sounded more unique than “writer,” it greatly interested me, and I had all the support I needed toward that goal. I left Hogwarts with a wand-crafting apprenticeship secured in the United States. Unfortunately, the wand life had not chosen the wizard, it seemed. I returned from my ended apprenticeship not long ago with expanded knowledge of wands and no idea of where my path would next lead.

I’d previously wanted to become a famous Quidditch player, a professor, a librarian, a musician, an artist, a cartomancer, housewife to my Hogwarts sweetheart, a dragon, “anything but a dung beetle,” and Saffron Foxclaw herself. I’d resented my indecision about my future, so I latched on with total commitment to whatever I suspected others would view most favourably and found myself devastated when things didn’t go according to plan, so I stopped planning.

Recently, I was again told I should consider a career in magical law enforcement and investigation. This time, I listened and forced aside my preconceptions. I applied for the Department of Magic Law Enforcement to the surprise of many, myself included. As a matter of fact, most of my motivation was purely a desire to shock others, a need for large change, and a goal to stop needing control and certitude.

I am currently on the Patrol Squad while I train and try to naturally find where I’m best suited. My restless and curious self is now actually paid to go on long walks, have interesting conversations, research and investigate, and duel. I, the girl forever suspicious of authority, the stubborn rebel, wear a shiny badge and struggle to follow or wait on orders as best I can. Surprisingly, my scepticism, outspokenness, and urge to take action have not resulted in my termination—quite contrarily, my personality traits that seemed most ill-suited to my career have been supported, compassionately understood, and beneficial.

Wandlore told me that the unyielding nature of my own wand makes me nearly impossible to sway, but Hogwarts and life after have taught me not to be too quick to decide anything, so that I can keep a flexible open mind, so that I can recover, grow, and adapt. Even beside book knowledge and spell talent, I’d say that the most helpful skill I’ve learned is how to be undecided. While it is often difficult to stray from what one knows, it can often be a boon simply not to know and figure it out as one goes.

If I had been so certain of myself, I might never have given Magical Law Enforcement a thought and remained in a slump after the end of my apprenticeship. If I am always too certain, I may very well disregard impactful information regarding a situation or case in favour of only seeing what aligns with what I believe. With an open mind and open eyes, I can consider more paths, people, clues, and advice. I can be more adept at my job, growing as an individual, and incorporating external input or new ideas. Through most of my life, I have been uncertain of myself and my direction and crippled by the stress I put on myself for not knowing. However, I have found, at least for me, that undecided life beyond Hogwarts has served me best.

Let me be clear: It is completely acceptable not to know. In fact, it can be of great benefit not to know and to allow yourself the freedom and humanity not to know. Undecided is very much a viable and respectable decision in and of itself. All I know for certain is that I don’t always know, but I will keep an open mind and continue forward, and that is valid.

Gwenaderin Ferox
Ravenclaw Alumnus
DMLE: Patrol Squad