Recently, as many of our readers know, second year Gryffindor student Arthur Letsworth, experienced yet ANOTHER tragedy. His brilliant house-mate, Aloy M. Osiris, dueling champion of 2027, a role model, agreed to interview him about the event, and also heard his story for the FOURTH time in two years.
The event happened last Friday, after the DADA class with Professor Macauley.
Arthur Letsworth. A second year student. A Gryffindor; house of lions! Many wonder “does he really belong there?” Many have noticed that he gets scared easily, especially when things backfire. Unfortunately, as we all know, this is a school of magic, and things tend to explode, when unpracticed hands such as his fail certain spells. And yet, here I am, interviewing him.
“So, a second year Gryffindor (you) who a few days ago was jinxed by an unknown student. Did you enjoy Professor Macauley’s class?”
Arthur: “It wasn’t horrible, just a bit scary. I tend to get scared quite easily, you see, but it wasn’t too horrible. I think it was a way for him to avoid his duties as our professor, he just forced us to fight each other. Vikander is way better, in my opinion. Macauley is the worst professor we’ve ever had.”
“You really think so? I personally disagree, but I respect your opinion. So, we had to fight each other, that’s true. How many students did you take down?”
Arthur: “I didn’t take any down. You hit me before I could do so.. And I also think Professor Macauley needs to be watched, he looks sketchy. He seems a bit freelanced,”
Arthur sighs, admitting how his brilliant house-mate, Aloy M. Osiris, dueling champion of 2027, a role model, took him down with a resounding casting of Petrificus Totalus.
“I know it must be disappointing, and I’m truly sorry it had to be that way. I will surely tutor you sometime after class, to make sure you get better in the future. So what exactly made you upset once the class was over?”
Arthur sighs, wiping a tear. “It wasn’t after class that upset me. Kulaan’s wand (Kulaan, to those of us who don’t know, is a first year Slytherin. A very nice lad, I must say) backfired and the sound triggered me. With your brilliant body bind curse, I couldn’t move, and felt quite helpless. And then your brilliant casting of Bombarda scared me even more, which is understandable and I forgive you.”
“Could you demonstrate what sound specifically triggered you? Was it a boom, a poof, and bam?”
Arthur: “It’s the sound of a gunshot (to those of us who don’t know, a ‘gun’ is a Muggle weapon), which brings me back to a traumatic night in my past. Unfortunately, I can’t describe the sound.”
“Understandable. So you were panicking, what happened next? Did you run down the stairs, crying and screaming? Or were you calm and collected?”
Arthur: “Neither. I nearly vomited in Macauley’s class, which is very disgusting, I admit. He politely told me to go to the hospital wing, because I wasn’t feeling too good. I only managed to get downstairs, feeling sick to my stomach and hyperventilating. An older Gryffindor, a brave soul, found me and tried to calm me down. Then, you, the brilliant student, and Professor Macauley showed up, asking me what was wrong. By then I was sobbing, red-faced.. So, because none of you had a calming draught, you offered to cast a cheering charm, so to make me feel better for a little while. I agreed.”
“How did it make you feel?”
Arthur: “I felt very happy, and it’s recognised by law as a positive emotion. Not even calm, just extremely happy. I was gently turned by Macauley, who then instructed Aloy M. Osiris, dueling champion of 2027, a role model, to perform a charm, a very good and not dangerous charm to make me feel better. You, a brilliant student, were concerned for my well being, and did as you were instructed. Afterwards, something very weird happened.”
“What is it?”
Arthur: A student, disguised, burst in, and raised their wand. They cast a jinx on me, Caugo Incrementum, giving me a tail, resembling one a brown puppy might have. They then ran away. Somehow, none of us saw exactly who it was, which is very tragic..”
Arthur: “The tail was there so I could wag it, of course. To show how happy I was. A nice, brown tail.”
“So you liked it, huh? How would you rate it on a scale of one to ten?”
Arthur: “I feel like there’s great pressure on me to say eight, though it was a brilliant tail, deserving nothing less than a ten. Though, next time, I’d like it to be fluffier or have more spikes.”
“I’m sure some of our readers will take that into consideration. What happened next?”
Arthur: “I went to class, and Emily Neutron, the Head Girl – who has to put her name for the Triwizard Tournament because otherwise the reporter will lose a lot of money – removed the tail and cheering charms. It all ended well, everything was forgiven.”
I’m sure many of us are glad to know that the story ended well! Don’t forget to practice your spells, and try not to kill each other in the process!
– Aloy M. Osiris.