Weekly Portents 15/1-22/1

Hello and welcome, once again, to another plunge into the bitter icy waters of our future! As always, I will be braving these murky depths and using the almighty power of Divination to shine some light on what is to come. My goal is to give each and every one of us residing in the castle a collective reading rather than just read for myself or a small group of you but sometimes fate has other plans. Sometimes these readings are very specific and pertain to just one or two of you but that can’t be helped! I am, after all, merely a vessel through which the powers of the universe flow through!

Last time we met back in December it was an awful bloody mess of indecipherable nonsense. Think there was some vague warning about staying safe but when is that not good advice ‘round here? Thankfully this time we’re doing something a bit more straightforward. 

Sort of, anyhow. 

Since it’s the start of the new year I’ve done a bit of research and found some old new-years traditions from our friends in the Czech Republic! Seems they’ve got loads of holiday Divs traditions and keen readers of mine might remember last year when I did another New Years tradition of “lead pouring” to get our reading. That one’s from Germany if I remember right but it’s apparently a thing in Czechia too. Can’t remember how that reading went but can only assume I was dead on and everything went bloody perfectly. 

Well this year I’ll be doing another soothsaying tradition from the Czech Republic which is apparently so ancient it doesn’t have a name. Nearest I can tell it’s called “řezání jablek” which is pretty bloody literal, really. Translates to “apple cutting” and that’s exactly what we’ll be doing! I take the biggest shiniest apple I can find and lop it in half from the side, then how the seeds are laid out determines how our year will go. 

Since the house elves are being so bloody particular these days I’m up in the homemaking classroom with a big red shiny apple I snagged from dinner. Normally this is the bit where I’d go all mysterious and run my hands over the apple to “get a feel for it” or whatever but not today. Dunno if that’s just the nature of řezání jablek or if I’m just in a stabbing mood but I give my knife a swing and the two halves fall to either side of the blade like I’m a bloody master swordsman or something. After totally sheathing my blade with a flick of my wrist in a super cool samurai movie sort of way I scoop up one of the halves and look it over closely. 

Very very interesting…

So four seeds in a little cross pattern is supposed to be real real bad. Death, famine, hellfire, brimstone, the works. 

But five seeds in a little star shape means health, prosperity, and good times ahead. 

What we’ve got here is four seeds and another tiny little seed that didn’t quite grow all the way. Guess now that we’ve plucked it from the tree and cut it in half it never will. This actually makes a bit of sense. It’s vague, sure, but was figuring we’d get something loads more vague

Kinda simple, really. We are that seed! Or maybe the seed is our responsibility or something like that, rather. Either way we’re in the middle and I believe it’s up to us to either nurture and grow the seed to its full size and lead to the good times or we can let it wither and die and have the bad times. 

Basically we’re at the tipping point between prosperity, mirth and all that junk and utter unmitigated doom. 

Lovely! 

That’s all I have for this week. Keep your eyes focused and wits about you and we just might meet again in… the future! Bloody hell is that schtick getting old for anyone else?

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