The Great Chocolate Caper

by Kitten Ducane

Queues up the Mission Impossible soundtrack!

Your mission, should you decide to accept it:
Seek out chocolate and more chocolate!
Go to where no student has gone before!
Solemnly swear that you are up to no good!
Always have fun doing it!

There’s always a mission to be had. We need only to find it. I think my mission should be all about the chocolate. The chocolate has never hurt my feelings. It’s never made me feel bad about myself for saying or not saying the right thing, or whatever thing it was that someone else expected me to say or do. Also, you never have to tell the chocolate that you are sorry. It will never run away from your friendship. It really won’t. Even the chocolate frogs. I’ve never had to tell one of them that I was sorry for biting their leg off. They never even seemed to mind it. And, there is always another one that comes along in my time of chocofrog need.

Chocolate makes us feel good. It’s pure bliss. Chocolate equals love, I am sure of it! For the love of chocolate! I’ve decided that finding the path to chocolate nirvana is my mission. This will be the sum of all of my life’s work. I have finally found my calling and a worthwhile goal. Isn’t that what going to this school is all about? Helping us to pave the way towards a productive future?

Obsessions are healthy, right? This one could be fun. It tastes so good. It contains wonderful memories for us. In research, I figured out that the reason for all this chocolate love has something to do with the chemicals in our noggins. Dark chocolate releases something that is similar to the stuff that happens in our brain when we feel love. There’s a thing called endorphins that minimizes our anxiety, pain and all that. In other words, feeling depressed, lonely, left out, anxious, in pain – pop a chocolate frog! Or, maybe you need two!

That’s all well and good when we’re talking about what’s going on with our loaf of bread but what about our jam tart? The superfood is said to have something called flavonoids in it. It’s like antioxidants that help your heart to go boom boom for a very long time. It fights off disease and other yucky junk. I guess it keeps you young at heart. The rumour has it that chocolate is even healthier than it’s cousin caffeine. You know, like that morning cuppa coffee that lots of people drown themselves in. Some dark chocolate in the morning might be a good substitute for that overdose of java. I’m not going to judge. But, I’d rather down some hot cocoa than a coffee any day. But, that’s just me! If it’s tasty, puts me in a good mood, helps my heart and is all around healthy, I’m in! Who’s with me?