Egg-splain This
Despite the long-standing Ban on Experimental Breeding, a veritable flurry of alarming reports have surfaced since The Daily Prophet’s summer coverage of a rumoured new crossbreed dubbed the “Haggis.”
One witch recounted to this reporter how her young daughter had recently purchased what was advertised as a harmless Puffskein, only for the creature to sink its fangs into her hand moments later. St. Mungo’s Healers were quick to reassure the public, however, clarifying that the creature’s sudden aggression was provoked by being stroked backwards – an action to which Puffskeins, Fanged or otherwise, take great offence.
Still, unease is mounting. Reports of illegally bred creatures escaping into the countryside have become increasingly common, with fire-breathing chickens reportedly terrorising the Border town of Peebles and suspected hybrids have been allegedly sighted as far afield as the Yorkshire Dales. The knock-on effect has been felt across households, with everyday staples soaring in price as eggs now fetch over four galleons a dozen, and whispers of flour potentially going up in price after fields were scorched in unexplained – or possibly chicken-caused – blazes.
Any concerns should be reported directly to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures
Broomstick Recall Sparks Outcry
Comet Trading Co. has announced an urgent recall of the Comet 18.97² after a “minor flaw” in its tail twigs was found to cause sudden mid-flight corkscrews. No fatalities have been reported, though one wizard ended up dangling from a church steeple in Norfolk for several hours leading which saw an exhausting response for the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.
Quidditch Power Couple Welcome Baby
Tutshill Tornadoes Beater Kip Heath and Up-and-Coming Spanish Songstress, and former Seeker for the Spanish Team, Lupe Odalis announced the birth of their first child this week. The pair’s newborn son reportedly has “an exceptionally strong grip,” after managing to hang onto a toy Snitch for nearly three minutes. Fans are already speculating about the infant’s future career prospects.
Rooftop Blaze Prompts Magical Fire Brigade Call-Out
Residents of Upper Flagley were woken at 3 a.m. by a roof fire caused by uncontrolled sparks from a five-year-old’s first display of magic. The Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes arrived promptly to douse the flames, though not before several chimney pots were reduced to rubble and the neighbouring thatch cottage ended up half smouldered. Neighbours described the scene as “terrifying, but also rather sweet.”
Accidental Apparition Lands Wizard in Wrong Wedding
Inverness resident Barnaby Higgs attempted to Apparate to his cousin’s nuptials in Cornwall but misjudged the distance and found himself in a Muggle church two counties away. Witnesses said he “made a nice speech before vanishing in embarrassment.” He was reportedly very relieved that he didn’t get caught up in the photos afterward, or asked how he knew the happy couple!
