Professional Quidditch Matchweeks 19 & 20

Brooms, quaffles, bludgers, golden snitches, players giving their everything and fans shouting from the bottom of their lungs -amplifying charm included. The number one wizarding sport we all thrill for is here to make you jump on your broom. 

Calista Earnshaw and Edward Callbeck will bring you this week’s coverage. 
Without much further ado, let’s jump right into the results!


Falmouth Falcons V Wigtown Wanderers  – 580 – 820  
For weeks, the world has been witnessing how far the Falcons are ready to go in order to win this season’s cup. 

From effortless victories, to top of the league domination, to simply not letting other teams go past their hoops. 

Even the Chudley Cannons had a go at flirting with the top of the leaderboard, and were sent back down by the team from Falmouth. No matter how, the Falcons always seemed to have a foot on the top spot, whether shared or not. 

And then… 

Enter the Wigtown Wanderers. 

The Scottish team walked into the pitch with determination; the Falmouth Falcons had been on the top for a while, but the Wanderers had not been doing bad themselves. In fact, they had just landed a victory in the previous round, and they were ready for more.

With precision, Chasers Garry Ivers, Shay Clark and Paternoster simply dominated the Quaffle over the Falcons’ trio. Captain Ivers made sure his team would take the lead from the start and keep it until the very end; with scores that started 110 to 20 for his team during the first ten minutes of the game, and only kept growing as time went by. Ivers even managed to organise a cheeky Parkin’s Pincer move, with him, Clark and Paternoster flying from different directions at opposing Chaser Lucius Paddon, who ended up losing the quaffle to the Wanderers. Paddon definitely did not enjoy that.    

It wasn’t a simple match, it was the Wanderers’ way to show the Falcons they were there to stay. 

A desperate attempt by the team from Falmouth’s beaters was made to stop the Scottish team, with Rhys Morgan and Lachlan Stewart -the real Lachlan Stewart- even going out of their way to perform a beautiful Dopplebeater Defence that worked… Alas, only once. 

With ninety-three minutes into the game, the Falmouth Falcons’ Keeper Dale Morris couldn’t look more frustrated. Yelling at the referees that the Wanderers’ Chasers surely were cheating, the Keeper desperately tried to be louder than his own team’s fans booing at his lackluster performance. But no referees could find any fault at the passion the Wanderers’ kept playing; with the mark of a hundred minutes past, and a score of 820 to 430 for the Scottish team.   

At the grades, the Falcons’ fans were begging for mercy for this match to end, whilst the Wanderers’ fans celebrated with chants and a good rendition of ‘Flower of Scotland’. 

The Falcons’ nightmare finally ended when their very own Dot Townsend captured the Snitch, finishing the game with a final score of 580 – 820 against her team. 

Truly, one can never know what the final top spot on the leaderboard will be until the very last game of the season. 

“Well, someone in this team had to do something.” 
-Dot Townsend, Falmouth Falcons’ Seeker and Independent Girliepop.


Caerphilly Catapults V Chudley Cannons – 430 – 760
Tempers ran almost as high as the score during the clash between the Chudley Cannons and the Caerphilly Catapults, with the former eventually storming into a devastating victory in a match filled with fouls, whistles, tears, and more than a few green sparks from the officials.


The Cannons wasted little time establishing control. Their Chaser Consus Król pushed the pace early, driving the Quaffle hard through the Catapults’ defense and stacking goals before Caerphilly could properly settle into the match -Keeper Hestia Withka was not impressed. Each scoring run seemed to rattle the Catapults further, forcing them into rushed tackles and desperate defensive plays.

It wasn’t long before the referees had their hands full. Several aggressive challenges drew sharp whistles, and more than once bright green sparks shot into the air to signal fouls as players collided mid-flight. One particularly messy exchange saw both teams arguing their case while the Quaffle floated awkwardly between them, drawing loud reactions from the crowd. The resolution ended with Caerphilly’s Gabriella Dudley and Chudley’s Casimir Utkin both receiving Green Sparks. Apparently Utkin didn’t have enough lunch and his teeth ended on Dudley’s arm, who instinctively swatted him with her own broom, as the rest of the Chasers were still arguing about which team had priority over the Quaffle. A mess, indeed.

Caerphilly did manage to claw together points of their own, showing flashes of a strong coordination and briefly narrowing the gap. But every time they threatened to build up their chances, the Cannons answered with another not-so-subtle-negation, steadily pulling the match further out of reach.

As frustration mounted, the mistakes from Catapults continued to pile up, hindering their spirits as well as doing little to slow Chudley’s advance, which at that point were on the lead, 610 to 430. 

It was then when the Cannons’ Seeker Callum Thorne finally spotted the Snitch, bringing home victory for his team 760-430, and an end to a match that was equal parts scoring spree and referee workout.

A powerful performance from the Chudley Cannons, while the Caerphilly Catapults were left dealing with both the scoreboard and the unanswered question: what to feed Casimir Utkin before their next game?

“I thought it was ham…” 
-Casimir Utkin, Caerphilly Catapults’ Chaser and Delusional Food Critic.


Montrose Magpies V Puddlemere United  – 240 – 560
The clash between Puddlemere United and the Montrose Magpies turned into a disciplined and surprisingly clean contest, with Puddlemere pulling away for a comfortable win without a single foul interrupting the flow of the play. 

From the start, Puddlemere looked organized and patient. Their Chasers Sora McKellan, Jack Jones, and Ariadne Massey  controlled possession well, carefully building attacks rather than forcing risky plays. The Magpies attempted to keep the pace early, managing a few solid scoring runs of their own, but Puddlemere’s defense stayed tight and rarely allowed a clean break through the hoops. That’s what a good Keeper like Viljo Suvi tends to do, -when she’s not distracted by the sound of Quaffles flying into space.

With the match flowing smoothly and no whistles from the referee slowing things down, the rhythm remained high throughout. The Magpies pushed hard to stay competitive, but every time they found the hoops, Puddlemere answered shortly after, steadily widening the gap.

Bludger control was also in United’s favor, as their Beater Grier Madden basically broke the Magpies’ Chasers’ legs -allegedly. It wasn’t flashy, but it was effective, and a couple of Mobilicorpus may or may not have been required. 

By the time the scoreboard climbed past 400, the outcome was settled. Puddlemere’s Seeker Callum McClarken  finally spotted the Snitch and ended the match, sealing a composed and controlled victory, 560-240 for his team. 

“Ask the Bludgers, and you shall be given…” 
-Grier Madden, Puddlemere United’s Beater and Bludger Believer.


Appleby Arrows V Ballycastle Bats  – 520 – 610
One isolated win is one thing. 
But two in a row? 

Have the Ballycastle Bats finally found their feet -or hands, to play the game, really. Or have the whole team been exposed to a serious dose of Felix Felicis? Hopefully it is not the latest. 

Because that… 
That is cheating. 

Whatever the case, it seems the Ballycastle Bats have finally stepped out from the bottom of the leaderboard, leaving the spot empty for the Wimbourne Wasps to occupy -more information on that to come.

The match started with the Appleby Arrows being overconfident -deja vu, anyone?-, just because the Bats had won their latest match -because of a chocolate frog, allegedly- it didn’t mean their team would be as focused. After all, they desperately needed a victory, following the terrible scenes from their Wigtown Wanderers encounter. 

So in an Arrows’ fashion, the team from Appleby brought their chasers -and beaters- to the pitch with the violence of a Knockback Jinx. 

Chasers Justine McNee and Jenson Barnett made sure to start with an advantage. They flirted with the quaffle and conquered it with a touch, passing it to Scotty Moore and scoring a few points in order to remind the Bats of their -season 2032-2033- place. 

As per their Beaters… Well, perhaps they went a little bit overboard. 

With the Bats not letting -sort of- the Arrows to bully them -much-, the Appleby Beaters resorted to… Well, more violence. However, this time it wasn’t Gareth Davies who let their team down. Ewan MacLeod seemingly lost his ‘chill’ when the Bats’ Chaser Tobin Townsend kept scoring, dangerously closing the gap between both teams -at that point in time, just an hour after the game started, being 450 to 500 for the Arrows. MacLeod did not beat Townsend once or twice. Five and six bludgers were sent to the lad, who kept being isolated from the other two chasers and unable to score anymore. 

The Ballycastle Bats’ Captain Ada Ivers demanded for a time out -and for more bludgers, as her own bat couldn’t send any away thanks to MacLeod- and the referees conceded, giving Ewan MacLeod his first Green Sparks of the season, grounding him for ten minutes. 

After that, the rest was history. For the Arrows. 

With a beater down, the team from Appleby couldn’t cope with the Northern Irish players. It was all reduced to a battle of Seekers backed up by Beaters. 

And Ballycastle’s very own Reserve Seeker -indeed, Avery Whittle has finally been sent to justice- Cassian Fleetwood caught the Snitch and obtained Glory all in their very first game. 

Final score? 610 – 520 for the Ballycastle Bats and the taste of sweet, sweet victory.   

“Eeh… Uh… I guess that happened…” 
-Cassian Fleetwood Ballycastle Bats’ Reserve -or newest?- Seeker, who couldn’t believe himself.


Kenmare Kestrels V Wimbourne Wasps – 730 – 570
Oh, how the Mightiest have fallen…

Although in this case, it isn’t the Mightiest… And they’ve only fallen.

The Wimbourne Wasps have suffered yet another loss that has catapulted them -and not in the right direction- into the bottom of the barrel. 

Has the Bats’ curse stepped into the Wasps with that fatidic Chocolate Frog? That would definitely be something to check! Unfortunately, there’s no time for it right now. 

Onto the match, now!

The Wimbourne Wasps flew into the pitch with one quest only: to win. However, the Kenmare Kestrels also shared the same intentions, and truth be told, both teams played with all of their strength. 

With thirty minutes right into the game, it wasn’t clear who would take the final lead. The Wasps’ Chasers had done a good job of keeping up with the Kestrels. Tryphena Beetlegleam and Layne Peacock even had their moment of glory when they scored -both of them, astonishingly- from across the pitch. 

Of course, the Kestrels’ Chasers didn’t do so bad themselves. Abigail Grace Bluetooth and the Griffin Duo knew how to counter the Wasps’ achievements. For each ten points, they scored the same, and even dared to take the lead at exactly ninety-two minutes and thirty-one seconds, 580 to 570. 

At that point, it was anyone’s game. And although both Keepers had done their share and both Seekers were at maximum alert, it was the Kestrels’ beaters who made the difference. 

Blossom Fairbairn tactically sent a bludger towards the Wasps’ Keeper Kjersti Nathalie, just as the same time her violent partner -Isla MacCrae- swung her bat and sent a targeted hit across the pitch.

The victim? 

Wasps’ Seeker Mieke Königsmann, fallen -but not forgotten by the fans who howled at her descend- as the Golden Snitch made an appearance. This was the perfect moment for the Kenmare’s Seeker Hall Mynatt to sweep into victory, as he caught the prize and a very tight victory for his team, with a final score of 730-570. 

Will the Wimbourne Wasps get out of that pit of misery?

The next round will solve the mystery!             

“You shall not catch… -The Snitch-.”
-Isla MacCrae, Kenmare Kestrels’ Wise Beater. 


Tutshill Tornadoes V Pride of Portree – 400 – 670
Pride of Portree delivered a confident and yet, stylish, performance against the Tutshill Tornadoes, steadily building momentum before closing out a strong win in a match that showcased Portree’s control across the pitch. 

Early on, the Tornadoes thought they could squabble up with the Portree’s players, pushing quick attacks and testing the Pride’s defense with several aggressive scoring attempts. However, that’s when Portree beater Kyo Fujiwara was like ‘uh huh sista’ and beat them with the wrath of Gods. 

Portree gradually settled into their rhythm. Their Chasers Valentine Weekes and Noah Hawtrey began to dictate the tempo, moving the Quaffle smoothly between them and forcing the Tornadoes to constantly shift their defensive positioning. With each successful pass and well-timed shot, a tear would go down the Tornadoes’ Keeper Lexie Cullen’s face. 

The Tornadoes continued to fight for openings, managing to keep the scoreboard moving on their side, but every attempt to close the gap was quickly answered by another Portree scoring run. The steady pressure from the Pride’s offense made it difficult for the Tornadoes to establish any lasting momentum. 

As the match progressed and the score climbed, the outcome began to look increasingly certain. With Portree comfortably with a hundred and twenty points ahead, their Seeker Marfa Parma eventually spotted the Snitch and secured the catch, bringing the contest to a close, with a victory of 670-400 for her team. 

A composed and effective victory for the Pride of Portree.

“Easy peasy, [expletive].” 
-Leo ‘Fianchetto’ Bernardi, Pride of Portree’s Chaser and Your Friendly Neighbourhood Edgy Boi.  


Holyhead Harpies V Banchory Bangers – 800 – 480
Another win for the Harpies. 

And another morally grey strategy from them, too.

It seems as if the team from Holyhead are using certain matches to practice their endurance in certain situations. Whether they try to force their enemies into physical and emotional exhaustion, or if they decide to play the next match as if nothing had happened, using that confusion to earn their victory. 

This time, things were unexpectedly different. 

As the Snitch was released and both teams were in position, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. In fact, it seemed as if the all-girls team were ready to… Well, just play. However, as the minutes passed, the fans began to notice something. 

Were the Harpies’ Beaters not… Playing? 

Their Chasers were scoring, -with Siobhan O’Connor and Jolene Parris doing especially well-, their Keeper Biddy Ó Ceithearnaigh was keeping, and their Seeker and Captain Kayla Murphy was… Well, she seemed to be seeking. 

However, both Isla MacDonald and Lillibeth Bennet seemed to roam around with their bats as if they were looking for Thestrals when neither of them had the ability for it. Their bludgers were only beaten periodically, at intervals of two and three point five minutes respectively, and were sent towards the direction of the Bangers’ Chasers but never seemed to hit by ‘mistake’. The referees couldn’t call it ‘a foul’ properly, as they kept looking at the Regulations on how to punish when a Beater was having a ‘bad aiming day’.  

The Banchory Bangers did not miss this chance. Chasers Ulysses Ellington and Josias Saylor scored. And scored. Even Doirend Rayne joined the party, despite noticing that Ó Ceithearnaigh’s hoops were still on point. 

Their Beaters did attack. And whilst the Harpies’ Chasers were good at dodging, they still fell down to the ground a greater amount of time. 

Fans were perplexed. What was going on in the heads of the Harpies? Forty-three minutes of game, and the scores were in favour of the Bangers, 350 to 270, whilst their Beaters seemed to be taking Bludgers to their faces, rather than batting them away. 

And then, the switch happened. 

At exactly forty-five minutes after the game started, the Holyhead Harpies’ Beaters -with a few bruises here and there- went into PAM -Perfect Attack Mode-, with their Bludgers precisely hitting a team that did not expect such a twist. 

The Holyhead Harpies’ Fans? Absolutely chuffed. 

The previous scores? Transient like a Boggart in a room full of people with very deep fears. 

The Banchory Bangers? Ah. Not so well. 

With thirteen more minutes of game, the Holyhead Harpies easily reached an advantage of hundred and seventy points over the Bangers. And then, when the team from Banchory finally understood what had hit them, the Golden Snitch appeared. Their Seeker Bryson McConnell did his best. But his best was not enough to stop a Bludger to his arm and the All-Girls team’s victory. 

With a half smile and the Snitch in her hand, Harpies’ Captain and Seeker Kayla Murphy brought yet another victory for her team, with a final score of 800-480.

“Listen… Do you perhaps know any good legilimens?  Asking for a friend… ” 
-Ulysses Ellington, Banchory Bangers’ Captain and Chaser, planning ahead for next season.