By Probity Bywell.
It was a rather mild autumn evening, and I was walking with a friend from the Great Hall into the Grand Stairwell, when our quiet conversation was interrupted by the squawking of a flaming feathered fury from the depths of the underworld.
Maybe you, too, have encountered one of these, at first normal seeming, chickens as you have strolled about the castle, or perhaps your first encounter was an eyebrow losing singeing as you attempted to pilfer some eggs from the chicken coups. Many of us have already discovered the joy of panic at the sight of these magical creatures, and those who have been fortunate enough to have avoided the fire-breathing, student-singeing menaces so far will likely not continue to have such good luck for long.
This all creates the very good question: what can you do when you stumble across one of these fire-breathing chickens? Our esteemed Professor Bane, learned in the ways of Care of Magical Creatures, has the answer for us.
First, however, reviewing a little of what we know about these creatures might be helpful. Fire-breathing Chickens, or FBCs, are not the result of a magical mutation caused by chickens finally getting irritated at people stealing their eggs and having them as roast dinners, but rather illegal breading programs to create the ultimate fighting bird. FBCs are highly territorial, and it seems they have decided that Hogwarts will be their new territory.
While they often appear to be an ordinary member of the poultry squad at first, FBCs become very easy to identify once they reveal their true nature by breathing out a short-range, flame attack that is capable of setting fire to their surroundings and also to unfortunate students.
Thus, Professor Bane has provided us with a three-step plan to survive an encounter with an FBC, which is called G.E.T.
Cast Glacius, Escape by running away, and Tell a teacher, or prefect, or best of all, report it to Professor Bane.
But I hear many among you ask, “What can I do when I can’t cast Glacius?” and there, dear reader, the Owl Post has you covered. The first thing we advise against is trying to feed the bird to distract it. All this will achieve is putting yourself within range of its ability to roast you. Likewise, do not try to pet or pick up any of these menaces unless you are wearing flameproof dragonhide clothing and have a degree in handling of dangerous birds.
The most important part of the G.E.T. strategy is the middle part, the Escape. While the best plan is to put your flaming attacker on ice, if you do not have that ability, then you need to have a different plan of escape. Make sure that you have it well in mind before an encounter, as trying to come up with one while putting out robe fires can be difficult even for the smartest amongst us
Try casting Smokescreen; this may be your best bet, leaving the FBC confused and partially smoked as you run from the scene behind your own personal cover. With a quick flick of your wand and a chanted “Fumos,” you should be ready to make for safety and alert the appropriate authorities of your discovery.
For those students who were lucky enough to have Bonnie Nishi bestow her knowledge upon them, I can personally attest that the Dodge Charm (Evasio) works, well, like a charm at magically dodging you out of the way of a rampaging roaster. Merely cast Evasio, and then make your exit from wherever the spell deposits you while the confused bird tries to find its target.
For those unlucky enough to have none of these spells to hand, your options become more limited. Your goal here is to make sure that you are never walking around the castle alone. Have a buddy who knows one of these spells, and if you can’t do that, then here is our final word of advice. Make sure that you can always run faster than whoever you are with, because in the end, you don’t have to outrun the flaming feathered felony, you just have to outrun your friends
