Mischief Managed

Spring Hogsmeade Foraging Guide

Saffron Foxclaw — Sun, 26 Apr 2026 17:26:16 +0000

by Muriel Maple

Hello everyone, your Friendly Neighbourhood Forager is officially back from her winter hibernation! Spring has finally arrived in the Scottish Highlands! Do not worry, a Hogwarts foraging guide for the season is coming, but I thought I would mix things up a little!

You see, this weekend is Hogsmeade weekend, and during my spring break I spent a few days foraging around the village. Before my Head of House calls me to her office, I must disclaim that no, I have not peeked into the absolutely-not-allowed-to-enter Dark Forest beside the village. No, not me, I would never do that… not even if that popping up and down Leaping Toadstool I saw from afar had my name on it. I would never.

Anyways, back to our usual programming, and what you are reading this article for! A Hogsmeade foraging guide indeed! Yet first, let’s talk about safety!

Under no circumstances should you enter the forest or leave the village. Always follow the well-lit, frequently used paths. Be careful while foraging, as you cannot use your wands unless absolutely necessary. Also, try to respect people’s properties (and gardens)… or at least try not to get caught snatching some flowers! When you pick a plant or a fallen item left by a creature it’s best to be careful and wear your dragonhide gloves. Always listen to the professors and prefects escorting you to Hogsmeade, and represent our school well! Also, do not be afraid to ask a professor or an older student to help you identify or gather something! Just remember – no magic outside of school!

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s begin!

As usual, we will gather at the Clocktower Courtyard by the fountain, pass through the iron gates of the castle grounds, and take the dirt road down to the main square. But be on the lookout! The walk to Hogsmeade can have quite a lot of goodies lying around!

If you notice a bright green, long-stemmed plant with small purple flowers, you might have spotted the spring-exclusive Fluxweed! Other typical gatherables you could find along the road might be Knotgrass and Horklumps. On the grassy patches, there must be plenty of Dandelions, Daisies, and some late-blooming Snowdrops! Despite the thickly forested road, in some sunny spots you might find dark green-leafed Lovage. While foraging, you might also spot fresh Nettles near the stone fences.

A little warning, learned after what happened to one of the contestants at last year’s Potion Competition: the nettles you gather around the grounds are Fresh Nettle Leaves in your recipe books. If you need them properly dried for a potion, I would recommend seeking out Dogweed and Deathcap, or the Magic Neep instead. And while we are at the stingy and refreshing, Peppermint is also in season and might be spotted in the shade of some townhouses, growing through cracks in the stone.

As we reach the village, we are greeted with some Apple trees! Look on the ground, there might be some fresh, crunchy red apples for a snack, or yellowish-green ones that are best used for cooking.

Stepping onto these ancient cobblestones, do not think the village has taken over nature! On the stone pavements, fences, and even the soggy wooden crates left outside in the rain, you might find many, many little critters such as Flobberworms, Red Spiders, and Horned Slugs! I must ask you to stay away from those poor caged creatures by the caravans, they are unfortunate enough to be imprisoned by those shady traders, best not to bother them further.

Despite how manicured the trees around the village are, busy little bees might have made nests in them or in old wooden structures, but be careful not to disturb them, especially if you are allergic!

Speaking of the cute, fuzzy, and flying, there is a big find I made last year! Especially since the puffskein chaos, there may be some tufts of Puffskein hair lying around. Or, if you notice a hiding puffskein and ask nicely, they might do a little shimmy-shimmy for you and present you with some of their shed fur. It is an essential ingredient for the Laughing Potion, in case that is your next potions project.

Another rare ingredient I sometimes find in Hogsmeade is a Jobberknoll feather. If you remember from Professor Bane’s class, the Jobberknoll is a small, speckled, blue-feathered bird that only makes one sound – a reversal of everything it has ever heard, right before the poor thing passes away. Therefore, finding these is no easy feat, but we can be very grateful when they drop their blue feathers where we might notice them. Especially since if you want to buy one at Slug & Jiggers or Goode’s Potions, they will charge you over 8 Galleons! Hard to spot, but you might find some on the cobblestones.

As we walk through the village, before the train station, you might come across Dogweed and Deathcap. How much I adore this store! [redacted as the suggestion of taking fallings or cuttings from a shop is not entirely legal and The Owl Post doesn’t want to get into any trouble. Maybe seek out the author to discuss the former contents of this paragraph]

Around the train station, where the tracks end, you might find some herbs as well, before we step onto the dirt road leading through a bit of forest. I repeat, it doesn’t matter if you are dared to be brave by your peers, do not walk into the forest or up to the Shrieking Shack!

Following the path, we find a smaller square with some houses around. Being spring, flowers are blooming indeed, you might find some Lavender or Hellebore here. A rule of thumb: do not take too much, do not rip the flowers out by the roots, and lastly, don’t go stealing flowers from someone’s windowsill! I warned you!

Right here on this square, thanks to the generous and hardworking townspeople, there is a small community garden plot. With spring in full bloom, you can find Potatoes, Thyme, Parsnips, and crunchy Carrots growing here! Remember though, only take as much as you need and still leave enough for others. As a thank you for the free produce, you could also pluck some weeds while you are there.

There is a small alleyway from this square leading you to the shore of the Great Lake. On the fields, you might find flowers like daisies or dandelions, and on the shore, if you are careful, you might spot Valerian or Gurdyroot! If you don’t mind looking very closely (and not slipping!), you might even notice Leeches. Be sure to wear gloves so you do not get latched onto!

Walking up the hill along the path that goes by the shady caravan of those cruel creature handlers and (if you can resist the urge to throw moldy crumpets at them) you will find yourself back at the main square of Hogsmeade, hopefully with a bountiful harvest!

From here, you can walk back to the castle, head to the Three Broomsticks to satiate your thirst with a good butterbeer, go do your shopping, or even try your luck at the potion shop and sell some ingredients!

I hope this guide was useful for you, and I wish you happy foraging!

Career Planning at Hogwarts or Why Making Decisions for Your Future at Fifteen is Not As Easy As It Sounds

Softpaw — Fri, 17 Apr 2026 21:07:40 +0000

Career Planning at Hogwarts or Why Making Decisions for Your Future at Fifteen is Not As Easy As It Sounds.

By Violette Twiggs, who asked for career advice and received twelve different answers and a pamphlet

Returning to the castle after Spring holidays comes with the annual parade of chaos, pollen, and panicked students pretending they care about exams. Yes, the sun is out, the flowers are blooming, and yes, it’s time to open that ancient rune notebook that you’ve tried to ignore since last September. The castle is alive. The students are reckless. Jeeves is thriving. And somewhere, a third-year student is still convinced they can invent a spell that makes homework do itself. (Spoiler: they cannot.)

Yes, it is that time of year again. The weather becomes brighter, the grounds are inviting, and soon, somewhere, quietly and without mercy, every fifth year (and up) will be summoned for what is officially called a Career Advice Meeting with their Head of House (and unofficially known as “The moment you realize you were supposed to have a plan”).

The exact moment of solitude where you have to, without warning, answer the most tricky question you could ever be asked in an academic situation. “What do you want to do with your life?”

Now, this would be reasonable if we were all ancient, wise, and emotionally stable. We are not. We are sleep-deprived teens, hormonal messes, mildly confused at best, and still recovering from that one lesson where something caught fire for reasons no one fully explained.

And yet, here we are. Being told to choose subjects. To specialize. To “think about our future.” As if any of us even know what we are doing next Tuesday.

Let us begin with the process itself.

You sit down. Your Head of House looks at you. Not casually. Not kindly. Evaluatively. There is parchment involved. Possibly notes. Definitely judgment. They pop the question.

Now, there is always a pause here. A long one. A dangerous one. Because this is the moment where you must decide whether to sound ambitious, realistic, or vaguely mysterious. Most students settle for something along the lines of “I’m considering my options,” which is widely understood to mean “I have no idea, but I would like to leave this room with dignity.”

Unfortunately, dignity is not part of the process.

Because this meeting is not just a polite conversation. It is preparation. For O.W.L.s. For N.E.W.T.s. For your future. You are told, gently but firmly, that your exam results will determine which subjects you can continue, which will determine your career path, which will determine everything that follows, which is a completely unreasonable amount of pressure to place on someone who still occasionally forgets where they left their bag.

But, you are expected to choose. To decide which subjects you will carry forward into N.E.W.T. level. To narrow your focus. To define your path. To look at your current abilities and say, with your best confidence, “yes, I would like more of this.”

Let us examine what that actually means. Each one is presented as essential. Important. Potentially life-defining. Choose wisely, they say. Your future depends on it, they say.

No pressure.

Defense Against the Dark Arts is always presented as the sensible choice. Practical. Essential. Reassuringly useful in situations where things are actively trying to harm you, which, to be fair, is not uncommon here. It is the subject that makes students feel capable, prepared, and slightly heroic, right up until the moment they are asked to demonstrate those skills under pressure while something unpleasant moves toward them with intent. If you are considering a career as an Auror, a Hit Wizard, or anything that involves chasing danger rather than running from it, Defense is non-negotiable. You will need excellent marks, strong reflexes, and the ability to remain calm while your surroundings become increasingly unreasonable. If your instinct is to panic, reconsider. If your instinct is to stand your ground, congratulations, you are either very brave or very optimistic.

Potions, meanwhile, attracts those who enjoy precision and control, which is admirable, because Potions does not tolerate anything else. This is not a subject you can charm your way through. It is not a subject you can “mostly understand.” It is exact. It is demanding. It is the academic equivalent of being handed a ticking situation and told not to make a mistake. Careers in healing, advanced potion-making, and medical magic all rely heavily on Potions. If you aspire to be a Healer, you will be expected to perform under pressure, follow instructions perfectly, and not panic when something starts bubbling in a way it absolutely should not. If your idea of measuring ingredients involves approximation, I suggest you develop a new idea quickly.

Charms is often underestimated, which is impressive considering how quickly it proves people wrong. It looks simple. It sounds simple. It is not simple. Charms requires finesse, timing, and a level of consistency that leaves very little room for error. The worst part is that mistakes are immediately visible. There is no hiding. Your wand either does the thing, or it does not. And everyone knows. Charms opens doors to a wide range of careers, from spellcraft to Ministry work, and is particularly valuable for those who enjoy practical magic that actually functions in daily life. If you like results, Charms will give you results. If you do not, Charms will give you public failure.

Transfiguration is where confidence goes to be tested. It is complex, intricate, and deeply unforgiving. You are not just performing magic. You are altering reality. And reality, as it turns out, has standards. Students who excel in Transfiguration often pursue advanced magical theory, research, or high-level Ministry roles where precision is not optional. If you enjoy challenges that require complete focus and absolute accuracy, this is your subject. If you enjoy guessing, it is not.

Herbology has a reputation for being calm. This reputation is false. Herbology is alive. It reacts. It responds. It occasionally retaliates. It is less about gardening and more about managing organisms that have no interest in cooperating with you. That said, Herbology is essential for careers involving magical plants, potion ingredients, and environmental magic. If you can identify a plant before it attempts to injure you, you are already ahead of most people. If you cannot, you will learn. Quickly.

Care of Magical Creatures is, in many ways, the subject that reveals who you really are. It asks a simple question: do you remain calm when faced with something unpredictable, potentially dangerous, and significantly larger than you. If the answer is yes, you may have a future in magizoology, dragon handling, or any number of creature-related professions. If the answer is no, you may still pass, but your experience will be considerably louder.

Divination is… Divination. It attracts those who are curious, intuitive, and willing to engage with the unknown. It also attracts those who enjoy being right occasionally and mysterious the rest of the time. Results vary dramatically. Careers in Divination are less structured, often involving advisory roles or independent practice. It is a subject that requires patience, interpretation, and a willingness to accept that not everything will make sense immediately. Or ever.

Ancient Runes is for those who enjoy complexity, history, and the satisfaction of understanding something that initially appears impossible. It is quiet, demanding, and deeply rewarding if you commit to it. It is also essential for Curse-Breakers, researchers, and anyone dealing with old magic that has not been updated in several centuries and may be holding a grudge.

Arithmancy is logic. Structure. Patterns. It is the subject for those who find comfort in numbers and clarity in systems. It is also the subject most likely to cause others to slowly excuse themselves from conversations. Arithmancy leads to careers in magical theory, spell development, and analytical roles within the Ministry. If you enjoy understanding how magic works rather than just using it, this is your path. If numbers make you uneasy, consider literally anything else.

Now, in theory, you choose based on interest, ability, and future plans. In practice, students mostly choose based on… which friends they are taking it with, which subject sounds least likely to cause immediate distress, and whether they believe they can survive it with minimal effort.

There are also rumors. Always rumors. “That subject is impossible.” “That one is easy if you just…” “You don’t need that for anything important.” None of these statements have ever been universally true, and yet they continue to influence decisions every single year. One student reportedly chose an entire set of subjects based on a single conversation that began with “I heard it’s fine” and ended with “how bad could it be.” They are currently reconsidering many things. Another attempted to select only subjects that “felt right.” They have since described their schedule as “emotionally challenging.”

The truth is, choosing your path at Hogwarts is less about certainty and more about educated guessing. You are not expected to have all the answers. You are expected to try, to adapt, and occasionally to realize that what you thought would be easy… is not.This is not failure. This is learning. Annoying, inconvenient learning. So what should you actually do?

Pay attention to what you are good at. Not what you wish you were good at. Not what sounds impressive. What you can actually do without setting something on fire. Consider what interests you. Not in theory. In practice. If you dread every lesson, that may be a sign. And perhaps most importantly, accept that you are not choosing your entire life in one moment. You are choosing your next step. Hogwarts has a remarkable way of adjusting your expectations for you, usually when you least expect it.

So you’re sitting there in your head of house office, and now, after reviewing all of this, you are expected to choose. To look at your strengths. Your weaknesses. Your interests. Your vague, possibly unrealistic career aspirations. And make a decision that feels both informed and entirely premature. Some students leave their career meetings inspired. Others leave confused. Some even leave it with a new trauma.

The truth is, you are not expected to have everything figured out. Despite how it feels, you are not choosing your entire life. You are choosing what you are willing to continue learning, struggling with, and occasionally questioning at a higher level. So be honest. With yourself, if no one else.

If you hate a subject now, more of it will not improve your feelings. If you are good at something, that matters. If you are choosing based on reputation, rumors, or the vague hope that it will somehow become easier, I wish you the best. You are about to find out exactly how wrong that assumption is.

Spring may be distracting. Exams may be approaching. But this moment, this decision, is one of the few things that will actually follow you beyond the castle walls. No pressure.

No pressure.

Yeah, right.

V.Twiggs, reporting what no one asked but everyone needed.

Dear Lucky Ladd

Softpaw — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 21:59:55 +0000

Dear Lucky,

Spring break just ended, and this is our last little bit before summer break. What’s in the cards for the rest of the semester?

Thanks in advance,

Lost without the Cards

Dear Lost without the Cards,
The Magician has appeared on the scene! That is a cracking card for the home stretch. It says the rest of the semester is all about what you do with what’s already in your hands. You’ve got the talent, the brains and the charm to finish strong. This is your moment to get focused, speak up, show your stuff and make a bit of magic before summer sweeps in. Just mind you do not get too cheeky or try to spin too many plates at once. Use your gifts proper and this last stretch could be simply brilliant.

Make it magic,

Lucky Ladd

————————————-

Do you have a burning question about homework woes, friendship tangles or why your Transfiguration partner keeps setting things on fire? Lucky Ladd will draw the cards and lay out the answers! Don’t be shy. Your secrets are safe with me. Write Dear Lucky today and see what the cards reveal!

(( https://tinyurl.com/LuckyLadd ))

Rumour Has It

Softpaw — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 21:23:47 +0000

Rumour Has It is for the sharp tongued among us, and the people who claim to deplore gossip, but secretly read it all the same.

Confessions, rumours or Questions can be given to our friendly messenger owl that loiters outside The Great Hall, he takes any messages to The Owl Post, just have a few owl nuts handy!

Rumor has it a certain Pink portrait is loose lipped up until you actually want to talk to her.

I saw four young Gryffindors sneaking around very early in the morning. They disturbed my sleep with all their chattering!

Rumor has it someone showed up to camp for the creatures and left with a crush they did not see coming.

Did the little veela have hex appeal or what?

RHI Torian can charm the Hogwarts owls into singing backup for him

A few of the prefects were talking about owlbears being ALL over hogsmeade. Are they decorations or the real thing?

Did you go to the concert and see how someone was oblivious to all the talk about them going on behind them?

Hufflepuffs Rainbow blush and Fashionisto must have stayed up all night to get full moon photos!

Rumor has it that the firebird and her best mate were seen walking through the corridors holding hands. Wonder how the Head Boy will feel about that?

(( Oocly you can use Discord to send Rumours and Confessions for The Owl Post via Picsy! Just open a DM with her, select “commands” and choose either Rumour or Confession! or hit / then enter and pick which one. ))

Professional Quidditch Matchweeks 23 & 24

Lex Ashworth — Sun, 12 Apr 2026 12:43:13 +0000

Brooms, quaffles, bludgers, golden snitches, players giving their everything and fans shouting from the bottom of their lungs -amplifying charm included. The number one wizarding sport we all thrill for is here to make you jump on your broom.
Calista Earnshaw and Edward Callbeck will bring you this week’s coverage with the special collaboration of Pauline Abbott.
Without much further ado, let’s jump right into the results!

Banchory Bangers v Wimbourne Wasps – 270 – 390
The bottom of the league has surprisingly moved!
Moved as in, they went out to the pitch, and played the game, to at least keep their pride.

The Scottish team from Banchory mounted on their brooms with the decision of an unsorted first year student at Hogwarts -filled with doubt. Only Captain and Chaser Ulysses Ellington seemed to have faith in his team, whilst the fans roared with a mix of support and disdain from the stands. Nevertheless, Ellington managed to keep his Chasers chasing, and both Doirend Rayne and Josias Saylor seemed up to the task, making sure the Bangers were slightly ahead from the Wasps.

Unfortunately, time was not on their side, as the Wimbourne Wasps seemed eager to wrap up the match. Beaters Emily Thompson and Aoife Murphy were always a step ahead from the Bangers’ Chasers, almost breathing on their necks every time they scored, so they could send them down with a bludger or two. Forty-three minutes after this constant chase-beat-down-loop on repeat, the Golden Snitch decided to bless everyone with its presence, in an attempt to make things a little more interesting.

Even though both seekers went out to seek, it was the Wasps’ very own Mieke Königsmann who managed to capture glory. Whilst her flight and movements were graceful, it was her team’s Beater Aoife Murphy’s bludger that helped to seal the deal; sent at the right time and at the right moment towards the Bangers’ Seeker Bryson McConnell. In the end, the victory for this match was for the Wimbourne Wasps, 390 to 270.

Even after this defeat, when it comes to points scored, the Banchory Bangers are ahead of the Wimbourne Wasps, however, with the latter having one less loss, could this be a way to get out from the bottom of the barrel?
A question to be answered soon enough, no doubt.

“Eh… Je… Uh… Not many words I can say… At the end, we… How is it? We.. Eh… We bit the dust, understand?”
-Merrick Fabienne, Banchory Bangers’ Keeper on his team’s performance.

Tutshill Tornadoes vs Puddlemere United – 850 – 880
If patience is a virtue, this match had plenty of it. Why?

Well… Simply because this was one of the longest games of this matchweek.
And it was long because maybe -just maybe- it dragged a little. At some point, the fans began grabbing out their sleeping bags because it looked like they would be there for a few hours -if not days.

The Tornadoes and United locked out into a battle of the death, blood was flying -not really, just adding dramatic flair and entertainment to save our readers from boredom. Or are we, dun dun dunnnnnnn.-

Early momentum swung toward the Tornadoes, who came in fast and aggressive, stacking quick goals like they were trying to stack big galleons. Chasers Robert Parsnicky and Luna George seemed certainly on point, as they threw the Quaffle through Puddlemere’s hoops repeatedly, with the confidence of a team that was -until then- above the team they were facing on this season’s leaderboard. Even their third Chaser Elliot Nelson benefitted from this momentum, as he passed, scored and even sent charming smiles to his fans at the stands.

United didn’t bite.

Instead, they absorbed the pressure and slowed things down, turning the match into something far more methodical. Their Chasers Sora McKellan, Jack Jones and Ariadne Massey began building plays step by step, forcing the Tornadoes to defend longer sequences and gradually wearing them down. Their strategy was not to win by better plays, but to take a page from the Holyhead Harpies’ latest games and wear down the enemy.

From there, it became a war of endurance.

Every time the Tornadoes went on the offense, United chased them down like a heart broken ex -we do not recommend this strategy, the Ministry of Magic might end up involved… What?

Every time a change in the scores was within anyone’s grasp… Nothing happened. Even the die-hard fans began to accept that the fate of this game was going nowhere -especially after three hours and eleven minutes of game and a current score of 400 to 460 for the Tornadoes.

Bludger control shifted constantly, both teams finding moments of disruption but never holding it for long . As the score pushed deep into the 800s, fatigue started creeping in. Passes took a fraction longer. Reactions slowed just enough to matter. That’s where United found their edge.

With the score sitting at 850-730, the Snitch was caught by Puddlemere’s Seeker Callum McClarken, who -finally- ended a five hours and thirteen minutes match that was starting to mess with everyone’s mental health in the stadium. United celebrated with a 880-850 victory.

“Through hardships we find Gold… -En Snitches.”
-Callum McClarken, Puddlemere United’s Seeker and Good Guy In General.

Holyhead Harpies v Chudley Cannons – 480 – 590
When a mistake like this appears, so late in the season, one can’t avoid but to wonder: was it really an error, or perhaps a way to spice things out of boredom?

In all honesty, when it comes to the temperamental Holyhead Harpies, one can never know.
It seems, however, that this game followed the trend of others played during the current matchweeks and it was done in under an hour.

The Chudley Cannons went out into the pitch making a full display of their motto, by crossing their fingers and hoping for the best, as the Harpies had proven to be a mentally unstable -allegedly- team, so far at least.

With their strength focused on their Beaters, the Cannons started a strategic game that aimed to minimise their losses. They knew the Harpies’ Chasers were tough -and so were their Beaters… And their whole team, really-, but perhaps if they planned ahead, they could make a cake out of bread and live to enjoy it.
Beaters Noëlle Ó Ceallaigh and Kathi Cassidy saved their best bludgers for the critical moments, allowing the Harpies to score, but not get ahead further in points.

On the all-girls team side, Chasers Siobhan O’Connor, Fiona Campbell and Jolene Parris were on fire, streaking quaffles through the Cannons’ hoops as if there was no tomorrow. Their own Beaters Bennet and MacDonald seemed to be slightly reserved during this game, and all pointed to defense rather than offense. Despite everything, at forty-seven minutes after the match started, the scores were in their favour, 480 to 440.

It was then when the Golden Snitch appeared and the whole stadium held their breath. The Harpies Seeker and Captain Kayla Murphy dived with haste, only to be taken away by a hesitant but effective bludger sent by the Cannons’ Beater Noëlle Ó Ceallaigh. Although the Harpies’ Beaters seemed to attempt to react, their timing was lacking -which seemed suspicious in a way-, allowing the team from Chudley’s Seeker Callum Thorne reign with confidence, as he double looped, extended his hand and obtained victory for his team, with a final score of 590 to 480.

The Chudley Cannons’ fans exploded in a roar that made the grades vibrate, celebrating the historic victory against the Harpies.
One must wonder, however, what was in the Harpies’ minds letting this victory slip away from their fingers, so late in the season?

A mystery that surely will be solved soon.

Or never.

“He’s blond, he’s tanned, he comes from Cornwall’s coast! Callum Thorne! Callum Thorne! He comes from Cornwall’s coast!”
-Anonymous Chudley Cannons fan.

Falmouth Falcons v Appleby Arrows – 810 – 520
When the league’s most unapologetic teams meet, one doesn’t expect finesse. One expects bruises, broken broom handles, and at least one referee rethinking their career choices. The Falcons and the Arrows delivered magnificently.

The match stretched over two hours. From the moment the whistle blew, the Falcons made their intentions clear. Their motto, ‘Let us win, but if we cannot win, let us break a few heads’, was treated less like a slogan and more like a tactical manual.

The Arrows were hardly innocent. They came in with their own philosophy of ‘Whatever it takes’ and a roster full of players who treat the rulebook as a polite suggestion. In short, it was a perfect storm.

Both teams opened aggressively. The Falcons Chasers pushed ahead with a mix of temper and precision, while the Arrows countered with their usual rule-bending flair. The score racked up fast on both sides, but the Falcons maintained a narrow lead through sheer force. By the 45-minute mark, the score sat at 260-240 for the team from Falmouth.

Mid-match developed into a War of the Beaters. Falcons’ Duo Rhys Morgan and Lachlan Stewart -the real Lachlan Stewart- dominated with elegant manoeuvring and raw power. While the Arrows’ Ewan MacLeod and Gareth Davies fought for their lives with calculated strikes and high velocity. Bludgers flew rapidly, slowing the game’s progress as the healers scrambled to keep players airborne. At the hour mark, the score had climbed to 430-380 for the Falcons.

The Falcons’ Keeper Dale Morris spent most of the match shouting about his ability to ‘never make mistakes’ despite the five goals he let pass his hoops. While his counterpart from the Arrows, Hardy Barnes became an emotional disaster, attempting to fight the Falmouth’s Chaser Carran Georgeson across the pitch after a smug goal celebration. Both Keepers received a warning, neither cared.

By the final stretch, the Falcons had built a comfortable lead, but with the Arrows’ Seeker Everett Butcher on the pitch, nothing was guaranteed. The snitch appeared near the Falcon’s goalposts, and both seekers dove. Dot Townsend went in like an actual falcon, swift, precise, and utterly unbothered. She snatched the snitch cleanly, pulling up with a triumphant grin as Butcher took a bludger to the face, mid dive, leaving a final score of 810-520 for her team.

The Falcons celebrated with enthusiasm. The Arrows left bruised, furious, and plotting revenge. A record number of incident reports were filed by the referees. And the fans? They got exactly what they came for: a bloodbath. A match that only the Falcons and the Arrows could produce.

“You have been weighed, you have been measured and you have been found… Wanting.”
-Dot Townsend, Falmouth Falcons’ Seeker on the Appleby Arrows’ performance.

Montrose Magpies v Ballycastle Bats – 290 – 190
This game… Well… ‘Game’…

Whatever this was, lasted under 30 minutes… And honestly, no one is entirely sure what happened.

The Magpies came out, scored a bunch, and before The Bats could properly blink, they were already behind and trying to figure out which direction they were flying. There were a few goals, some vague attempts at defending, and at least one moment where a fan asked if this was still warm-ups.

At one point, the Quaffle had barely been tossed back into play before it was already sailing through another hoop. The pace wasn’t fast – it was borderline disrespectful. The Bats looked like they were still introducing themselves while the Magpies were already halfway through the job.

To their credit, the Northern Irish team did try to respond, just taking 10-15 business days. There were flashes- quick drive, a couple decent setups- but nothing stuck long enough to actually matter. Every time they looked like they might settle in, the Scottish team had already scored again and moved on.

Then suddenly -at exactly twenty-nine minutes after the start, when the scores were 290 to 40 for the Magpies- Snitch caught. And honestly? By absolutely chance. The Ballycastle Bats’ new Seeker Cassian Fleetwood was turning around to avoid a Bludger, but instead ended up catching a Golden Snitch -unfortunately for his team, really.

Final score: 290–190.
Short. Confusing. Efficient.
The only thing longer than the match was people asking, ‘Did we miss something?’

“Wait… What? The match was today, right…? [Expletive]…! Am I late?”
-Anonymous Ballycastle Bats’ fan.

Kenmare Kestrels v Pride of Portree – 780 – 660
Some matches are fast -no comment. This one… Was not.

The Kestrels and Pride settled into a drawn-out contest where neither side rushed anything, turning the game into a slow burn of pressure, patience, headaches and who would blink first. Early on, Portree looked sharp, moving the Quaffle confidently and keeping things level with steady scoring, much of it coming from Valentine Weekes and Leo Bernardi, whose ‘Fianchetto’ angels continued to make absolutely no sense to the defenders.

The Kenmare Kestrels didn’t panic.

They played the long game, literally. Short passes, controlled buildup, and carefully chosen shots started to add up. Leading that effort was Abigail Grace Ashworth, who dictated the pace with calm precision -too calm, maybe, as if she was guarding something-, picking her moments and converting them cleanly. Instead of explosive runs, it was a steady drip of goals that gradually pushed them enough to almost catch up with Pride.

Portree kept it competitive, though. Every time the gap stretched, they reeled it back in, just enough to stay out of reach. Part of that came from Beater Kyo Fujiwara, who worked relentlessly to disrupt Kenmare’s flow, breaking up plays and buying Portree just enough space to keep fighting and keep the lead.

As the match dragged on, you could see the difference; the Kestrels still looked composed, and Portree started forcing plays. Passes got tighter, shots got rushed, and those small cracks turned into just enough space for the Kestrels to almost catch up with Portree.

Meanwhile, Kenmare’s Seeker Hall Mynatt remained patient throughout, tracking quietly in the background while the rest of the match unfolded.

By the time the score reached 630–660 -with Portree still in the lead-, it wasn’t a blowout, it was a slow, inevitable separation. The Snitch capture came soon after, clean and decisive, as if Hall Mynatt had suddenly decided to wake up and put an end to a match that had been building towards that outcome for a while.

Not flashy. Not chaotic. Just controlled, patient Quidditch from the Kestrels, that paid it off with a victory and a final score of 780-660.

“In the end, the Tortoise won the race…”
-Hall Mynatt, Kenmare Kestrels’ Seeker and part-time philosopher.

Caerphilly Catapults v Wigtown Wanderers – 830 – 710
First, the Holyhead Harpies.

And now… The Wigtown Wanderers?

The top two teams of the league seem to have crashed and burned down as the season approaches to the end.

Alright, maybe that was an overreaction. However, for the Wigtown Wanderers, this match was not what they were hoping for.

With Caerphilly sitting just on the higher end of the midfield, the Wanderers probably thought they had not much to worry about, as long as their Chasers did their jobs.

And for a while, they did.

Chasers Babs Paternoster and Garry Ivers started the scores for the Wanderers, putting their team ahead for the first half an hour of the game. Quaffles were up, down, to the left, to the right, and into the hoops of Caerphilly’s Keeper Hestia Withka, who wasn’t probably liking the way the match was going.

To make it worse -for Withka-, Shay Clark scored an impressive midfield shot that left the Wanderers’ fans with their throats hoarse, as they all celebrated whilst clashing their wands into their meat cleavers -children are not to try this at home without supervision.

Things were looking bright and nice for the Wanderers, as their Chasers kept chasing, Beaters kept the Catapults at bay -mostly Cade Lindon, who probably didn’t even need to throw a Bludger to make his opponents get out of his way, but still did, hitting everyone he needed to- and their Keeper Mick Mooney was saving most of the Caerphilly’s shots with confidence.

And perhaps, just perhaps, overconfidence was their fall down.

A hundred and thirteen minutes after the match started, the scores were in favour of the Scottish team, with 710 for the Wanderers and 680 for the Catapults.

What they didn’t expect, is that their Beater Aiden ‘Death Swing’ Parkin would be grounded for five minutes for excessive bludgering Caerphilly’s Chaser Gabriella Dudley -the judges decided to Green Spark him rather than Cade Lindon, for… Reasons, of course.

With one of their Beaters down, the Wigtown Wanderers lost their momentum, and as the Golden Snitch appeared, chaos ensued. Their Seeker Evie Proudfoot went for the snitch, but got confused as Parkin was about to be released from his ‘Referee Prison’. At the same time, Cade Lindon went to send a Bludger towards the Caerphilly’s Seeker but got intercepted by both their Beaters -Radek Mercer and Jayme Pearce. And in the middle of all of that confusion, the Catapults Seeker Toutorix Tracy saw, reached, grabbed and conquered the Snitch, obtaining victory and a final score of 830 to 710 for his team.

“Haha… Sure, it definitely was Parkin who was sending those bludgers… Hahahahah…”
-Gabriella Dudley, Caerphilly Catapults’ Captain, Chaser and smart girl in general.

Professional Quidditch Matchweeks 21 & 22

Lex Ashworth — Sun, 29 Mar 2026 22:54:11 +0000

Brooms, quaffles, bludgers, golden snitches, players giving their everything and fans shouting from the bottom of their lungs -amplifying charm included. The number one wizarding sport we all thrill for is here to make you jump on your broom.
Calista Earnshaw and Edward Callbeck will bring you this week’s coverage.
Without much further ado, let’s jump right into the results!

Wigtown Wanderers V Montrose Magpies – 810 – 520
The Wigtown Wanderers seem to be firm on their beliefs of keeping themselves at the top of the league -but so did the Falmouth Falcons, and that hasn’t turned out well for them.

Whether they manage to make it to the finals of the British and Irish Quidditch League or not -this summer, stay tuned for the big event with the top teams-, is something that hasn’t been decided yet -although at this point in time, they do stand a very good chance to be there.

With the intimidating air that characterises them, the team from Wigtown in Dumfries and Galloway -on the West Coast- stepped into the pitch of the Ilkley Moor Stadium in Yorkshire, ready to face their opponents, also Scottish, but from the East Coast -sworn enemies, allegedly.

The Wanderers meant business, and having already defeated Pride of Portree, they were ready to assert dominance over the rest of Scottish teams -and the rest of the League, but one must start one country at a time, right?

This dominance was shown early in the game, when Chaser and Captain Garry Ivers scored up to six times in the first three and a half minutes of the match, leaving the Montrose Magpies’ Keeper Myles Burnham potentially thinking of revenge.

As Ivers’ dominance was contagious -his co-chasers Babs Paternoster and Shay Clark benefited from his aggressive strategy, scoring a few points of their own-, the Magpies’ Beaters saw the need for a perfect counterattack, -after all the East Coast shall not surrender to the West Coast. Captain Kane Kurtis swung his bat with precision, and for a moment -around twenty-two minutes of game-, the scoring Wanderers were kept at bay. Simultaneously, Beater Peter Riches took over the defensive side, allowing his Chasers Silver Summerfield, Cass Audley and Lestat Vrykulesti to keep up with the scoreboard, allowing the Magpies to almost catch up with the Wanderers, 510 to 660.

It only took them almost two hours of game.

Alas, the hopes from the Magpies were shattered when the Golden Snitch flew past their Seeker Arethousa Ainsworth; too shiny and too fast for the witch to react in time, just before a very strategic bludger sent by the Wanderers’ Beater Cade Lindon hit her. With Ainsworth down, opponent Seeker Evie Proudfoot saw her path clear: a double loop, a triple zig-zag, the Golden prize in her hand, and a victory for her team with a final score of 810-520.

The Wanderers had done it again.

And after this round, they are the only team on the leaderboard with nine wins under their belts and only two losses.

Now, the question remains: Are the Banchory Bangers afraid the Wanderers are coming for them? After all, they are the last Scottish team left to be beaten by the team from Wigtown.

Or perhaps… Will the Banchory Bangers -truly, almost at the bottom of the board- pull a Ballycastle Bats’ strategy and turn ‘an-almost-sure-loss’ into a ‘sure-victory’?

More to come in the following weeks!

“Really…?”***
-Cade Lindon, Wigtown Wanderers’ Beater.

***: Truly, he did not say ‘Really?’, however the stare given to the press, potentially meant that. The press did not dare to question back. For their own physical safety.

Pride of Portree V Holyhead Harpies – 1040 – 1170
If anyone needed a dose of adrenaline, watching this epic encounter surely did the trick.
With both teams on the higher end of the leaderboard, expectations were set and met.

Just as the game started, both sides of the stadium went into complete silence, as fans -and press all together- wondered whether the Harpies’ strategy would be unorthodox this time as well. As quaffles were sent through hoops and bludgers were beaten, the answer seemed clear: no -or at least ‘no’ for now?

Perhaps the Harpies had finally found a worthy opponent?

Or maybe they just had a lot of fun beating Portree’s Chasers, because after today that’s probably one of the headlines: Leo Bernardi getting hit so often by bludgers, that Pride’s fans are filling paperwork to classify it as a sport within a sport.

According to witnesses -and Leo’s ‘mangled’ face-, the Harpies’ Beater Lillibeth Bennet, -allegedly of course…..don’t need her breaking my legs too- had his name circled, highlighted, and perhaps written in fire. Every time he got the Quaffle and headed towards the Harpies’ hoops, a Bludger mysteriously arrived a second later, like a poorly timed birthday surprise that nobody expected to see -curiously spaced enough to not be classified as excessive beating.

And somehow?

Even with his new found nemesis… He still scored. Repeatedly.
What made the situation even better, was that every time Bernardi was sent spinning, Portree’s veteran Valentine Weekes immediately swooped in, saved the Quaffle, and scored as if to say in spite “And that’s how you actually do it, kid.” -insert extra sass here.

Truth be told, Weekes turned in one of his most polished performances of the season. He read the field beautifully, finished plays cleanly, and seemed to have a sixth sense for when Leo was going to be ‘bludgerly’ assaulted; making out of Bernardi’s disgrace an advantage for his team -and himself.

However, Chasers weren’t the only ones performing well for Pride of Portree.

Pride’s very own Amrishaya ‘The Chaos’ Kol lived up to her nickname with a downright disruptive performance. She shut down attempt after attempt, read the Harpies’ angles perfectly, and punched shots away with flair.

She even outblocked the infamous Biddy Ó Ceithearnaigh by two full saves -which is saying something, because the Harpies’ Keeper is well-known for blocking everything, even guys who approach her.

As both Protree’s and Harpies’ Chasers were busy scoring, Keepers were keeping and Beaters were beating, time flew past, and the match entered their third hour of play, without any major incidents, or any issues at all -sus.

At this point, the Referees probably wanted to go home and relax -pity that their wishes didn’t count.

In fact, when said Referees were about to -allegedly- cast a Major Illusion to pretend they were still there, the match took a twist that no one -hah- expected.
The scores were at 1040 to 1020 for Portree, and whilst the Harpies Chasers Siobhan O’Connor and Fiona Campbell had been doing their work to not let the Scottish team get away with victory, it was Jolene Parris who provoked a questionable winning twist.

As her team was twenty points behind, Parris accused Portree’s Beater Kyo Fujiwara of excessive beating, provoking him with words and gestures that would probably make even some rough sailors blush.

In the heat of the moment, the usually calm, collected and very polite Fujiwara fought Parris back for a second that ended with instant regret; words were said, bludgers were thrown and even a glove flew in between the two players. Why? Reason unknown.

Unfortunately, the exchange between the two resulted in Green Sparks for both, as well as being grounded for five minutes. With one Beater down, Portree was slightly more defenseless than the Harpies with a Chaser down.

It only took three of those five minutes for the match to wrap up. A Golden glint was spotted flying near one of the stands, and as Portree’s Seeker Marfa Parma made a zig-zag movement in pursuit of the Snitch, she was directly hit by a very well timed bludger sent by the Harpies’ Beater Isla MacDonald. With Parma down, Captain and Seeker Kayla Murphy shined bright like a diamond, as she saw, flew, and seized her team’s victory, with a final score of 1170 -1040.

Were Jolene Parris’ actions a mere coincidence?
Or was it an unexpected -and twisted- mind game from the Harpies when they were twenty points lower in order to win an advantage?

A mystery that perhaps will remain unresolved until the end of times.

“Clearly a fan. Bet she wants my autograph and instead of words, uses bludgers. Endearing, truly.”
-Leonardo Bernardi, Pride of Portree’s Chaser, on Lillibeth Bennet’s alleged focused beating.

Ballycastle Bats V Falmouth Falcons – 600 – 580
When thinking about the Falmouth Falcons at the start of the 2032-2033 season, only one thing came to mind: victory after victory.
And it came to the Ballycastle Bats from the start of the same season, the feelings were exactly the opposite: defeat, tears, poor execution and why, oh, why, can’t one never find the pair of a favourite sock when needed?

So, after twenty-two match weeks… What is happening?

Well, Ballycastle seems to somehow have started to turn things around.

Emphasis on ‘started’. They have a long road to go, and not many rounds left; although with the present victory, at least they have solidified their presence on the midfield of the board -unless something really bad happens, like for example someone confirming any Felix Felicis usage.

That would be bad.
Very bad.

And what about the Falcons? They definitely haven’t been cursed -allegedly- by the Wigtown Wanderers. However, one thing is certain: their winning streak is lost, and definitely slowed down. Along with the Chudley Cannons and Pride of Portree, they stand proudly on the top of the board, with seven victories, just under the Holyhead Harpies and the Wanderers.

Curiously enough, this match seemed as if it would favour the Falcons. With the Bats’ performance being an absolute Wild Card, the team from Falmouth thought they’d have this in a bag, pretty much ready to go.

With an impressive offense on the pitch, the Falcons’ Chasers Declan Byrne and Caran Georgeson made it their personal mission to make sure the scoreboard gave them an advantage; and with the help of Lucius Paddon, they certainly achieved their goals -literally.

After exactly seventy-two minutes of game, the Falcons had an advantage of over a hundred points from the Bats: 580 to 450. The Irish team had their Chasers -especially Tobin Townsend- fight for the quaffle as they could, to give their Keeper Marsha Lyon a bit of a breathing rest.

Unluckily for them, the Falcons were not having it, and their Beaters were certainly being the guardian canines -wait, weren’t they birds?- of their hoops. Falmouth’s very own Lachlan Stewart -the real Lachlan Stewart- sent a few strategic Bludgers towards the Bats’ Chasers and Seeker that left the fans in awe, believing their team definitely would get their victory streaks back.

Nothing further from reality.

Unluckily for the Falcons, the Golden Snitch made itself present when they least expected it. Although their Seeker Dot Townsend reacted fast, her actions were not enough to defeat the speed from Ballycastle’s New Boy On The Pitch Cassian Fleetwood. With just a double loop and a clean ‘seeking’ movement, the Bats’ Seeker captured the Snitch and won yet another game for his team, with a final score of 600 – 580.

The joy from the Ballycastle Bats’ fans harshly contrasted with the feelings of pain and betrayal from the Falmouth Falcons ones.
Feelings that probably could be easily summarised with: “And in the end, it doesn’t even matter…”

“Cruel… Cruel, cold and unfair Quidditch World…”
-Anonymous Falmouth Falcons’ fan, probably hiding a tear or two down their face.

Puddlemere United V Caerphilly Catapults – 570 – 750
United held their own for much of the opening stretch, but once the Catapults found their rhythm, the match shifted sharply in their favor, ending in a confident win.

Puddlemere opened with a composed, methodical play, moving the Quaffle with patience and forcing the Catapults to work for every defensive stop. Their early goals kept the pace steady, and for a while the game looked like it might settle into an even back-and-forth.
But then the team from Caerphilly got down to business -and not to defeat the Huns.

The Catapults’ Chasers, led by Elara Quinn, -whose throws carried precision of a marksman- and Gabriella Dudley, -who never misses an opportunity to punish a gap in coverage-, began firing off rapid, coordinated drives. Clean passing sequences, sharp cuts through midfield, and shots curved just out of reach of United’s Keeper Viljo Suvi, that turned a scoring run into two, and then three. Suddenly, the team from Puddlemere began scrambling to slow down the gap they were creating.

United responded with grit, insults and even rocks -allegedly thrown from the grades- just to punch in the goals where they could, refusing to fall completely out of the match. However, the Catapults’ Beaters Radek Mercer and Jayme Pearce, weren’t having it, and tightening the coverage, they made it their personal mission to disrupt long passes and to shut down transition plays. Every United attempt looked harder, tighter, and more forced, as the Catapults’ gap increased.

By the time the score reached 600-570 in favor of the Catapults, the pressure was building rapidly. Both teams’ Seekers swept the pitch in long arcs, shadowing each other with rising urgency. Puddlemere’s Callum McClarken stayed close, keeping the seek honest and giving United hope.
But, of course, that was only until Caerphilly decided to crush their dreams, as their Seeker Toutorix Tracy finally captured the end of the match, with a final score of 750-570.

“Haha, yay! We did it! Very proud of my t-.”
-Toutorix Tracy, Caerphilly Catapults’ Seeker and Permanent Silencio’s victim.

Chudley Cannons V Tutshill Tornadoes – 340 – 660
The Tornadoes wasted absolutely no time showing why they’re one of the fastest teams in the league, tearing through the Cannons in a high-tempo match that never really slowed down -fans’ necks will never be the same after that day.

From the opening whistle, the Tornadoes’ Chasers took control of the pace, with Luna George and Robert Parsnicky running tight formations and punching in early goals before the Cannons could settle into any defensive rhythm. Even Tutshill’s Elliot Nelson quaffle’s movement was sharp, almost annoyingly efficient, and every attack seemed to come from a new angle.

The Cannons did manage to put together a few solid scoring drives, answering with the physical, straightforward style they’re known for, with great plays from Chaser Clarity Terrell. Unfortunately, every time they started to build their fans’ expectations, the Tornadoes came in like a wrecking ball. It was like trying to catch the wind -by the time they reached it, it had already moved.

Bludger control leaned heavily in the Tornadoes’ favor as well. Their Beaters Kip Heath and Cerys Llewellyn spent most of the match disrupting any Cannon counterattack before it could get dangerous, forcing rushed passes and cutting off breakaway chances.

By mid-match, the Tornadoes had built a significant lead, and it only grew as their Chasers continued piling on points. With the score sitting comfortably in their favor, their Seeker and Captain Lacey Bolton finally made the decisive move, spotting the Snitch and locking in a clean catch to end the match at 660–340.

A dominant showing from the Tornadoes -quick, controlled, and impressively…..a step ahead- while the Cannons were left chasing a match that slipped away almost as fast as the Tornadoes flew.

Will the Chudley Cannons position at the top of the leaderboard be threatened after this horror show?

Find out on the following match week!

“It was like seven tornadoes sent seven hard cannons flying away… That ain’t right…”
-Anonymous Chudley Cannons’ fan.

Banchory Bangers V Kenmare Kestrels – 820 – 840
The Kenmare Kestrels and Banchory Bangers delivered one of the closest and most chaotic matches of the season, ending in a razor-thin victory for the Kestrels that had both fanbases clutching their robes until the very last second.

Right from the whistle, both teams made it clear this would be a scoring race rather than a defensive showcase. The Bangers came out swinging, their Chasers Ulysses Ellington and Josias Saylor blitzing the pitch with rapid drives that had the Kestrels’ Keeper Reese Barret question his own sanity. Despite the initial hiccup, the team from Kenmare wasted no time answering back with their signature fluid passing and long-range shots, keeping the scoreboard neck-and-neck.

The match escalated into what can only be described as a goal-trading festival. Every time the Bangers celebrated a score, a grin could be practically seen on the Kestrels’ Chasers as they went right back down the pitch to return the favor: Abigail Grace Bluetooth and the Griffin Duo were simply unstoppable when it came to revenge. The crowd barely had time to process one tally before the next one soared through a hoop.

Bludger battles were fierce but surprisingly clean, with both Beater duos working overtime to buy their Chasers just enough breathing room to keep the scoring frenzy alive -Anah Trengove and Jotham Patton beating on the offensive for the Bangers, whilst Isla MacRae and Blossom Fairbairn went with a more defensive approach for the Kestrels. It felt less like stopping the opposing team and more like trying to outrun them.

By the time the score hit 490–490, the tension was thick enough to slice with a Diffindo. The Bangers pushed ahead, then the Kestrels tied it. Then the Kestrels surged ahead, and the Bangers tied it again, sending fans from both sides into emotional spirals.

Towards the end, it was the Scottish team from Banchory that came ahead 820 to 690, leaving the Irish opposite team with a bitter taste in their mouth.
But just as it happens in many Quidditch games, the entire outcome came down to the Seekers, who had been circling each other like stressed-out hawks for most of the match. When the Snitch finally darted into open air, both launched after it, but it was the Kestrels’ Seeker Hall Mynatt who managed a clean, desperate grab just moments before the Bangers’ fingertips could close around it.

As Mynatt achieved a fantastic victory 840–820 for the Kenmare Kestrels, their fans around the stadium -and outside- howled with joy. After all, that meant moving up towards the lower midfield positions in the leaderboard, whilst the Bangers descended towards the bottom.

“It was a tough game, but we ‘spongified’ it with our team effort.”
-Hall Mynatt, Kenmare Kestrels’ Seeker and fully committed Team Player.

Wimbourne Wasps V Appleby Arrows – 600 – 920
What to say to the Wimbourne Wasps when their luck has changed in such a drastic way?

‘Sorry?’
No, that might sound way too condescending.
‘Please, keep trying, things might look brighter in the future?’

With only a few rounds left, that might be sort of an impossible task. But then again, ‘miracles’ -certainly not involving any usage of forbidden potions or curses and other illegal things- can happen.

Even if it is to take a team back to the midfield; after all, that can feel like a victory itself, once the bitterness from the bottom of the barrel has been tasted -ask the Ballycastle Bats, if not.

Then again, luck was not in the favour of the yellow and black team. Another set of players, with a much more pre-disposition for tricks and violence -and with that shared desperation to climb up- decided they had enough losses in the current season, and therefore, it was time to change.

The Appleby Arrows suddenly remembered they had been Eurocup Champions not so long ago, and if they had to sacrifice a few sparks in order to win, so be it.

Chasers Justine McNee, Jenson Barnett and Scotty Moore gave their all in a match that had… Truly, everything.

With fans from both sides chanting away to support their teams, the match started promising for the Wasps. Chaser Layne Peacock scored the first ten points of the game, followed close by Tryphena Beetlegleam, who managed to put the next twenty points up for her team.
Unfortunately for the team from Wimbourne, the Appleby Arrows had settled for ‘victory no matter what’ -certainly a hard level almost impossible to solve.

As the match advanced, the Arrows took the lead on the scores; and as the Wasps tried to counter -and almost achieve their target-, the team from Appleby dived into a violent strategy that cost them not one, but two Green Sparks.

The first one was handed towards Ewan MacLeod, for excessive beating: scoring Wasps? Bludger. The Wasps’ Seeker Mieke Königsmann attempting to capture the Snitch? Bludger. Anyone from the Wasps even breathing? Bludger.

Excessive beating, indeed.

Despite everything, the five minutes MacLeod was grounded didn’t change the results much; the Arrows were still in the lead, 650 to 520.

The second Green Sparks came in the shape of the Arrows’ Keeper Hardy Barnes, after the Wasps’ Chaser Robyn McKowen scored against his hoops in a way he definitely did not like. With McKowen flying at him in her most acrobatic style, Barnes did not expect the corner trick-shot that would score the last ten points for the Wasps. In a very Barnes’ way, the Keeper accused McKowen of cheating, and threatened her with his wand… No, that was a typo. His hand, he threatened her with his hands, as violence was his weapon of choice that day.

The referees were not having it, and subsequently Barnes got Green Sparked and grounded for the last ten minutes of the game.

Luckily for him, his Beaters kept the Wasps’ Chasers at bay, and his Captain and Seeker Everett Butcher found the way to capture the Snitch without a third Green Sparks.

Final result? Victory for the Appleby Arrows, 600-920, and a sad Portkey return home for the Wimbourne Wasps.

Perhaps -only perhaps- their luck is about to change.

Or not.

“A, B, C, D, E, F… U.”
-Hardy Barnes, Appleby Arrows’ Keeper, still unsure of the order of his letters.

Rumour Has It

Softpaw — Thu, 26 Mar 2026 21:08:24 +0000

Rumour Has It is for the sharp tongued among us, and the people who claim to deplore gossip, but secretly read it all the same.

Confessions, rumours or Questions can be given to our friendly messenger owl that loiters outside The Great Hall, he takes any messages to The Owl Post, just have a few owl nuts handy!

There is chatter going around that the house elves been seen carrying buckets of Ice Cubes! What could they be up to? Are they planning an Ice sculpture? Perhaps they are just not ready for winter to end yet?!

RHI a pair of Gryffindor boys were discussing a ring in Art class. Sure hope the Prefect’s clumsy lion doesn’t find out about the ring being passed around.

Spotted one of the Morris lads winking at his adoring fans during tea in the Great Hall. How many girls do you think are crushing on those musical quads?

Zeus wasn’t a god at all, but an Animagus.

RHI Professor Hargrave is Zeus in disguise.

RHI that Jeeves is inna mood with his limerick to prove it: There once was a class full of brats, Who trusted in charms more than baths. But the mud on their knees And the pong on the breeze Made the prefects declare, ‘Scrub your arse!’

RHI The Majestic Wombats could reform this summer for a series of concerts ! You think Pandora could leave school and teaching?

RHI that the Astronomy professor uses a telescope not just for watching stars, but to check if students are sneaking snacks in the common rooms.

I heard someone claim that the Care of Magical Creatures professor can speak to the castle owls and they deliver secret messages for him.

It’s clear that the flowers are head over heels for the Slytherin Sticker King!

Confessions

Softpaw — Thu, 26 Mar 2026 21:07:47 +0000

Rumour Has It is for the sharp tongued among us, and the people who claim to deplore gossip, but secretly read it all the same. Ruffled Feathers are for those who need help and advice.

Confessions are something entirely different. Got something you want off your chest? Need to scream it from the Astronomy Tower but can’t? The Owl Post is here to be your metaphorical Astronomy Tower

Confessions, rumours or Questions can be given to our friendly messenger owl that loiters outside The Great Hall, he takes any messages to The Owl Post, just have a few owl nuts handy!

No, really. Stop asking me about my ears! They are fine. Nobody is coming to cut them off.

Is it bad I do not feel for a losing team?

I wanna know who has the gillyweed so I can go swimming in the lake.

I can’t wait to dance with you all night.

I don’t know how to swim and I’m avoiding the Black Lake at all costs.

I’ve blamed “castle magic” for at least six things I personally broke, including a chair that absolutely just collapsed under pressure.

I secretly enjoy History of Magic and I’m tired of pretending I don’t. Goblin rebellions are fascinating and I will die on this hill.

I told my dorm mates I can speak Gobbledegook. I literally just mumble nonsense and nod. Somehow, it looks convincing.

I tried to impress a group by turning water into chocolate. Ended up turning it into slightly angry pudding.

Under the umbrella of a flower is mein favored place to be.

Saturday Study Corner 15/03 – 21/03

Softpaw — Sat, 21 Mar 2026 19:50:14 +0000

Care of Magical Creatures (All Years)

Professor Bane (JettBane Resident)

Complete magical creatures homework by the end of term (( https://linktr.ee/bane_comc ))

Herbology (All Years)

Professor Dumorney (Ebediyet Snowpaw)

Homework is 2 rolls of parchment on Bubotuber

Extra Credit (max twice a week)

Art

Professor Juliette Moore (Honey Vanilla)

Create your Own Alphabet using Magical Images and Characteristics of the Magical World.

Astronomy

Professor Priaulx (Bay Quartz)

If you are not doing your OWLs or NEWTs this year, you will be doing a piece of coursework individually. Your coursework is to be submitted the week of your exams and it will be a proposal for how to visit space, and potentially the moon, using magical means. Taking into consideration all the factors you can contemplate. You are not expected to start until after the Easter holidays

Care of Magical Creatures (All Years)

Professor Bane (JettBane Resident)

Complete CoMC EC Homework – Bioluminescence by the end of term (( https://linktr.ee/bane_comc )) Glow Bug supplies are found just outside the Attic Classroom.

It’s Quidditch time! Gryffindor vs Hufflepuff

Softpaw — Sat, 21 Mar 2026 19:38:15 +0000

It’s Quidditch Time! – By Lumos and Nox

Gryffindor V Hufflepuff – 560 – 460

And so, another Game Day has arrived.

This one being the encounter of the two fluffiest animals in the Castle: Badgers vs Lions.

Will there be blood? Will players from both teams end up with scratches, bruises and the potential ground for suing their opponents? -These writers highly recommend going against this path; unless the reward is chocolate frogs instead of Galleons… In that case, well, maybe?

Find out in the future lines of this amazing article -Brought to you by our lovely Owl Post.

For now, a brief insight on how things are within the current season:

-Gryffindor vs Slytherin? We saw the Snakes took the lead with an impressive scoring and capture of the Snitch. Their Keeping was on point, and the Trio of Chasers flew like magic is supposed to be. Final score? 490 – 760.

-Hufflepuff vs Ravenclaw? The Badgers obtained victory, also with a festival of Quaffles going through the Eagles’ hoops. Alas, even with the final capture of the Golden Snitch, Ravenclaw couldn’t win, ending with a final score of 520 – 320 for Hufflepuff.

-Ravenclaw vs Slytherin? Oh, how the Mightiest have fallen. With Troy Mercer out of the game, Jasper Hawksworth flew like a lost puppy. Even with their Beaters giving all the Bludgers away, Ravenclaw -and Argyle Demoray- were unstoppable, winning with a final score of 690 – 390.

So what could this game mean?

If Hufflepuff wins, they would be the only house with two victories, which would put them in a favourable position among the rest.

But if Gryffindor wins… Well, that would mean that all Houses would have a victory, and that just until now, this Cup could be anybody’s.

Let’s just jump into the formation of the teams for this match! Rumour has it, Quidditch Scouts will be watching!

GRYFFINDOR TEAM ROSTER FOR THIS GAME:

1 – Isabella ‘The Menace’ Watson: First Chaser and Captain of the Gryffindor team. A pretty face that hides a fierce confidence that truly seems the backbone of the team. She’s good on her broom, as good as she is shooting her quaffles. With a current loss, Watson could do with a Victory for her team, but Rumour Has It… She’s playing against her girlfriend, on the opposing team. This is not the only couple of the match with star-crossed lovers! Scandalous!

2 – Chase ‘Lionheart’ Ashford: Second Chaser, and new blood for the Gryffindor team. This lanky lion definitely has some tricks up his sleeve. One of them being the boyfriend of the Captain -and chaser- of the Hufflepuff team, making them the second couple with star-crossed lovers! Will love prevail when one of them loses?

3 – Dawn ‘The Donkey’ Kayhote: The third Chaser for this roster is the enigmatic Miss Kayhote, a Seventh Year Witch that has been known to have a profound love for Muggle objects as she wanders around the halls. Will her ‘Magic 8 Ball’ -we think Muggles use such artifacts to predict the future in a serious way- help her to choose the correct winds to fly and… To which hoop to aim?

4 – Oliver ‘Kfir’ Prescott: First Beater and Co-Captain of the team. Do not let his innocent face confuse you. He will beat you up. Repeatedly. Ask the chasers of any other team.

5 – Timocleia ‘The Welsh Fury’ Gwilym: What can we say about the tiny Welsh girl? Despite her size, she’s a force to reckon with. Rumour has it, she simply enjoys the art of beating. And she’ll beat people up -with bludgers only, allegedly- with a smile on her face.

6 – Ben ‘Flash’ Coletti: The Keeper of the team. No, really, he actually keeps the hoops, preventing quaffles from going through. Rumour has it, he sleeps whilst practicing to keep quaffles away from his area. That might explain how he is such a powerful Keeper.

7 – Horatio Devante: The Seeker for Gryffindor this game is Mr Horatio Devante. Quiet, shy, hiding behind his glasses… One might think he is not made for the game. But just like others, do not let appearances fool you. This is not Mr Devante’s first rodeo -or Snitchodeo? He will seek until the end, and he will capture the snitch.

HUFFLEPUFF TEAM ROSTER FOR THIS GAME:

1 – Leilani ‘Alley-Oop’ Tamriel: The first Chaser position and the role of captain is for Leilani Tamriel this season. She’s fierce inside and outside of the pitch, and everybody knows to stay away from her very well trained wand. Will she bring the Cup to the Badgers this year? And how will the relationship between her and her Vice-Captain affect the team? Rumour has it they used to date, although that should not be a problem, as she seems more interested in Lions these days. Indeed, she’s one of the Quidditch-star-cross-lovers of the season!

2 – Lachlan Stewart: Although a reserve for many years, this fifth year chaser is finally ready to play his first game officially. Usually portraying a chill and calm -even shy- demeanour, Stewart seems to radically switch his personality when he’s on the pitch. A cocky side that speaks volumes backed up by his results. Definitely one of the new players to keep an eye on. DO NOT confuse with Lachlan Stewart -the real Lachlan Stewart-, a professional Quidditch Beater playing for the Falmouth Falcons -speaking of, have you seen the Rise and Fall of the Falcons? One must wonder if Hufflepuff will follow suit, as they share a player with the same name…

3 – Kayli ‘The Knife’ Byrne: Maybe a last call for the team, or perhaps a premade decision. Whatever the case, Miss Byrne enlisted the Badgers’ side with a smile on her face and a dream to carry on. Sweet, loyal to her friends, and pretty cool girl in general, Byrne could be the Dark Horse for this encounter!

4 – Muriel ‘The Sweet’ Maple: With a shared passion between cooking and quidditch, this fourth year Hufflepuff is the second beater of this roster. Will she be cooking with bludgers too? One thing is for certain, she’ll probably cook trying. Or try cooking? Is the pitch a kitchen? This is getting confusing. But she has a bat, beats and cooks. And also did some experimental chasing. Hopefully beating is her true calling, even if in this case, she must throw bludgers at her Gryffindor girlfriend. Tragic, truly. These Quidditch-star-crossed-lovers are bringing tears to our eyes!

5 – Reika ‘De Sharl’ DuBois: Another prefect with a bat attached to her hand! The second Beater for Hufflepuff’s roster comes in the shape of Reika DuBois. Usually pretty chill -or at least in front of the Head Boy-, this witch seems to pour her inner violence into the shape of bludgers. Probably another player to keep an eye for.

6 – Coltrane ‘Steel Wall’ Kerr: The Hufflepuff Keeper for this game is fifth year Coltrane Kerr. New to the team, rumour has it this badger is scared of even his own shadow -and yet, he’s dating a Slytherin, or is he being kidnapped? Wait, was it not a Gryffindor? Does he need help? At least he’s not scared of heights! Or at least his passion for Quidditch is stronger. A fair player that always seems to be trying to make others laugh. And a fun fact about him? He loves the colour pink. Wonder what we get mixing pink and yellow… Pastel orange?

7 – Tybalt Tarrowwood: The male part of the Hufflepuff Mini-Veela Duo is Seeking for the Badgers this match. Not a stranger to the Golden Snitch, Tarrowwood was out of the first Hufflepuff game of the season, leaving spectators wondering whether he’d be too rusty to seek or not. We know from last year that he’s truly someone to be aware of.

Will he keep terrifying his opponents as some sort of ‘secret weapon’ this season too?

And with this, folks, we conclude our players’ ~~stalking~~ insight.

How did the actual game go?

What a sensational game to bring everyone’s nerves high on alert, only to crush them like abandoned hopes! -Mostly if you were rooting for the Badgers.

With the match starting exactly at 13:00hs, the rush could be felt in the air.

Maybe the Badgers were eager to score right away, and as their Chaser Lachlan Stewart -not the Pro Player one- aimed for the Gryffindor hoops -and instantly gets taken by Gryffindor’s Beater Timocleia Gwilym-, something out of the ordinary happens: the quaffle does not go in.

There were similar other attempts with the same outcome, and the first Time Out of the match was called. Resolution? Both Team Captains agreed to restart the game.

With the scoreboards reduced to zero, things began to move again, giving the spectators hopes for a great match.

Gryffindor scores, and…The hoops were not accepting more quaffles in? Is this part of a Ghost Joke? Jeeves? Are you with us? Some people seem to think so.

With yet another full restart of the game, -and scores down to zero once more-, everyone is questioning the same: will the match ever actually start and end?

Well, apparently, it did start. And with scores of 10-10, -both Captains scored for their teams-, the game went on, -finally. Chasers chased, Keepers kept, Seekers tried to seek, and Beaters… Oh, well.

Beaters.

Whilst Hufflepuff’s Muriel Maple was doing her best to be tactical -and she made some good tactical calls-, Gryffindor’s Oliver Prescott and Timocleia Gwylim were flowing with their Bludger rage -with a preference of a target on Stewart’s head. So much, that Gwylim was grounded for excessive beating, just as the scores were 240-140 for Hufflepuff and yet another time out was called.

Was Dawn Kayhote shaking a ‘Magic 8 Ball’? Sources tell us she was asking about ‘Will Hufflepuffs get mad if she stole all of their snacks?’, and getting answers such as ‘Outlook looks cloudy’. Excuse us, the skies are pale blue right now! Is that Muggle Artifact not reliable? This feels like… Betrayal.

Anyway, back to the time out.

Apparently Gryffindor’s Isabella Watson had stolen the quaffle in the no-no area. Oh well.

Mistakes were made.

And those mistakes favoured Hufflepuff with two penalties. Lachlan Stwewart took the first and scored, whilst New Girlie in the Block Kaily Byrne took the second one. And did not score. But, oh! She did score with that cute Quidditch Uniform Style! Fashion matters, even in events like these!

As the dust settled on a chaotic, hard-fought match, one thing was clear – the points in this game belonged to Lachlan Stewart and Isabella Watson. The two chasers went goal for goal in a relentless duel, each dragging their team forward and refusing to back down.

But in the end, it was Seeker Horatio Devante who had the final say, seizing the Snitch at the perfect moment and sealing Gryffindor’s victory in one swift move. Hufflepuff’s Tybalt Tarrowwood had dived for it and failed too, thanks to a Bludger sent by Gryffindor’s Oliver Prescott.

And, of course….. A special mention to the stands, who seemed oddly committed to keeping Kayli Byrne out of play. At this point, we’re not saying they were biased……but we’re not not saying it either.

Final score? 560 – 460 for Gryffindor.

In the end, all Houses have now a victory.

“It was a rough defeat. Being such a close game makes it all the tougher to swallow. The Gryffindor chasers really stepped it up in the final 15 minutes of the game. We were getting ahead, but they pulled it back in time. I’d like to apologise on behalf of our team to our amazing housemates. We’ll do better next time!… I promise I’ll mix up my shots a lot more often.”

-Lachlan Stewart, Hufflepuff Chaser and NOT a Professional Player. At least not yet?

“It was my first game, I do think I looked hawt in the Uniform, and I think the bludgers are mighty more terrifying when they’re chasing ya.” She giggles softly. “The quaffle is hard to carry while you’re trying to fly, and staying on your broom. But everyone was super fast, and my teammates were so sweet and encouraging. I might play in the future, who knows?”

-Kayli Byrne, Hufflepuff Chaser, on her insights about her first Quidditch Game and the style she was wearing as the uniform.

“It’s been a while since I was on a broom, so it felt good to be up there again.”

-Tybalt Tarrowwood, Hufflepuff Seeker and Great Enjoyer of Simple Things.

“First Victory of the year, yes. But it was a super super great win. The game was super super even, so the win feels even nicer. I love good games like that.” She pauses a moment, when asked another question. “We have no secret weapon. We just put in good practice with the team, and we all work so well together. We know what to do, and we do it well!”

-Isabella Watson, Gryffindor Captain and Chaser.

“Um… I think I bludgered a lot of people today? So it was a good day? I always want to bludger more, of course? Because maybe the more I bludger the lower their score is? And today was very close. So I will be trying very very hard in the game against Ravenclaw? I suppose that will be my strategy. Hit as many of them with the Bludgers as I can?” She pauses as she’s asked about the pizza she’s eating. “It is very tasty. I always like pizza after a game.”

-Timocleia Gwilym, Gryffindor Beater who adores pizza. Wait… Is pizza her Secret Weapon to Beat to Perfection???