Hestia Withka, 5th year Slytherin reporting with a ‘guide’ to Hogwarts Castle.
If you’re expecting directions, then you’re mistaken. Think of it as a Quidditch game. You don’t get told where the snitch is, you seek it. Having a snitch given to you defeats the point of the game. Maybe start with the broom cupboard and make your way to The Quidditch pitch.
Now let’s begin my extraordinary guide to Hogwarts Castle.
If you’re new around here then you may want to read this, really, if you’ve got this far already then you’re seeking something over than directions. If you’re new, there’s no doubt you’ve already had encounters with the ever moving staircases. Even former students sometimes forget. Yes, they forget and then find themselves in the Hospital Wing …but back to staircases. Yes, that’s right, one hundred and forty two staircases reside in Hogwarts Castle.
It’s important to know that It’s not just the staircases which move. Everything moves at some point. If you draw a map, expect it to be wrong. Even if you think you know where everything is, again, there’s a chance you’re wrong. Not everyone’s perfect and we don’t know what the castle is thinking, do we? We don’t know where it is going to move to a classroom or why.
Some say the walls talk, that the castle hears all, but aside from students and professors, the ghosts and portraits talk too!
The ghosts that roam the halls and have done for centuries could point you in the correct direction. I’m not saying they will, but you might have better luck if you’re nice. If you’re rude they will only walk straight through you.
- Please remember. Don’t poke the poltergeist. Whatever you do, DO NOT poke Jeeves. Our ever so lovely poltergeist, who will most likely dungbomb me and the Owl Post office for adding his name into this article. I mean no offence by these words, but he’s easily upset. Jeeves can always find you, he just knows, when there’s a perfect opportunity for a prank.
With that warning said and done, here’s another suggestion.
One might try asking the portraits. Portraits know everything. I’m not lying, ask anyone in the castle, ask the portraits themselves. Although it can be useful, they watch, they listen and they sometimes even report you to the professors. So, if you do plan on jinxing someone in the corridors, be aware of your surroundings. If you’re running about the halls in the dead of night, waving your wand, shining a light as the darkness surrounds you, be mindful. Portraits sleep too! And know when curfew is.
By the way, I must point out. That you can’t hold me accountable if you do jinx someone and get caught. I told you so. Don’t jinx someone in the hallways.
So, yes, a student could direct you, but there’s no certainly they will point you in the correct direction. Even the ghosts and portraits may fool you. Not that you can’t count on them, but just as a caution …maybe you shouldn’t.
Be brave. Take an adventure around the castle alone and see what secrets you can find, or go in a group and explore. Play a game of snap while you’re at it. You don’t have to explore the castle in a day, I don’t think anyone can, in fact, I don’t think anyone has ever explored the entire castle.
The truth is, I could have listed every classroom and every floor that I know of, but that would be counterproductive. If they move by the time this article is published then that’s no help, is it?
Therefore I and The Owl Post can’t be blamed for misread directions if I don’t tell you where everything is.
You can only blame yourself! For not exploring!
- Hestia Withka