I bring to you today my dear readers the juiciest of information surely to tickle your interest. Now it pains me to write such things about my dear friend within the Daily Prophet but I, Harmonia Sings believe that exposing corruption and lies is far more important than mere friendships and Witch Weekly promises to bring you nothing but the best drama and juicy goss of all around!
In the wake of controversies such as Judy Dorchester’s downfall, Philomena Pest has been there with her snout pressed against the steamy windows of drama. However, my dear readers. Philomena Pest may too have some dark, withering secrets.
Yes readers, I come with you today to expose Philomena Pest and her contradicting words and hypocrisy at it’s finest. A source tells me that Philomena Pest was a staunch advocate for Judy Dorchester’s hostile takeover of Hogwarts. She stood to stand profit from the chaos and disruption that Zimelda Zemeckis and Judy Dorchester created. A journalist without integrity, Philomena Pest chose to flourish in the wake of corruption and misfortune. It wasn’t only till Dorchester herself was caught that Philomena Pest decided to turn tides on her old friend and write scathing articles about her. We see right through you, Philomena.
Another source tells me that Philomena having appeared against Headmistress now Minister of Magic Hannah Fischer was in fact bribed with lavish items, trinkets and of course galleons to write articles and expose lies of our dear Minister to remove her from power. Who bribed her? Who used Philomena Pest in their campaign against Hannah Fischer?
Now we speak about Philomena Pests personal life. For all the times you’ve seen her painted face upon the pages of Witch Weekly and magazines such as Wands of Time, Witches Society, Frogue and BeWitched for all the times you’ve seen raggedy fur draping from her haggard shoulders and overly applied red lips to the awful attempt at hiding the monstrous eye bags that seemingly never end. Philomena Pest is in fact broke. Not a galleon to her name. Don’t let her lies fool you or her facade of wealth diminish the truths behind her situation.
You have to wonder my dear readers, Philomena has been around the block quite a few times. For a 70 (even though she’d have you convinced she’s 30) year old woman, Philomena has been married many of times. However all of her husbands have somehow died. I ask that all of those in the Wizengamot investigate the mysterious circumstances surrounding those deaths but whats even more shocking is that, even after large settlements, Philomena has not a galleon in her stitched pockets.
Where did her money go? Whom is she funding? Well my dear readers, only time will tell.
Yours every truthful and loving,