It has been brought to my attention that a much needed discussion is to be had regarding first loves. We are in a castle bustling with new love constantly, thanks to our age groups and our collective confinement between stone walls. As a student body, we are all growing together and learning to cope with our emotions. We’re learning things about ourselves we hadn’t ever considered before – attractions, feelings, the balances between right and wrong.
This article is for those who find themselves fumbling in the dark, searching for an understanding of these things – an understanding that seems like it’s just barely out of reach. So allow me to impart some pieces of wisdom, speaking as someone who has “been there and done that,” as it were.
You will love many times in your life – romances that range from wild and carefree to warm and comforting. Romances that end in tragedy and heartbreak, or the kind that end amicably. You will part ways and perhaps never speak again, or you will bury the dramas of the past and rekindle a different kind of love. That being, the platonic kind.
Your life will be long and full of these rollercoaster of emotions, but take comfort in the fact that we’re all going through the same things together. You are not alone in what you’re going through, and acknowledging that very fact can serve to strengthen your bonds. Use this common ground to communicate your feelings to each other – communication is the key component to any relationship, romantic or platonic.
Deep down, we’re not all that different. We all will make mistakes. We all will allow emotions and selfish desires to get in the way, and only months after the fact will we begin to understand where things went wrong. Relish in your emotions, even the bad ones. They are pure, and they are yours to experience and remember. Treasure your memories, and actively seek to make each one good. Learn from the ones that are not.
Trust your instinct. If something feels wrong, follow that feeling. Never willingly go with something that makes you uncomfortable. Speak your feelings unapologetically, or better yet, climb the towers of this school and proclaim them to the world. Bottling things up, lying, and hiding what you truly feel, never ends well – it only leads to you being put in situations where you are uncomfortable or unhappy.
Most importantly, remember that romance is not everything. You have magic, exploring, learning, and friendship, among so many other things. The world is filled with all kinds of wonders for you to appreciate! Putting less stress on the thought of love itself, will ultimately bring less stress upon your shoulders.
Q: The Black Cat asks, “I made a mistake in asking my ex girlfriend what a ski was. Then, I told her it was silly to slide on long flat things. How can I get her to forgive me for not understanding the muggle ways?”
A: Well, there are two things that must happen here. Firstly, your ex may need to have a little more empathy to the fact that some witches and wizards come from different worlds entirely. Things that are normal to some, are obscure to others. The best way to go about a situation like that is to explain, and if someone doesn’t understand, they simply don’t. Likewise, you (Black Cat) should also be empathetic to the fact that some things that you don’t enjoy or understand, are enjoyable to others. Perhaps consider your words with a little more kindness.
As for the immediate situation of getting her to forgive you, the best thing you can do is simply talk it out. Both of you should explain your sides so you both understand where the other is coming from. Make sure your apology is completely sincere, and explains why you had said what you did at the time. Best of luck!
Remember, you can submit questions or request advice, topics, or shout-outs with special messages for your loved ones.