It’s been awhile since Mr. Amortentia has come to write about the topic that seems to plague Hogwarts; love. With February just around the corner, thus bringing us Valentine’s Day and the Hearty Party, I thought it was due time to revive these articles.
This is a topic meant to bring happiness, but for many, especially in recent months, it seems that bitterness and resentment has become something of a theme. So this article is not written for those doe-eyed lovebirds out there, but rather, those who feel scorned and most importantly, alone. To be more specific, this is an article for those who lack the courage to feel happy with themselves. To those who are uncomfortable with the silence of their own company, there are three simple messages I wish to impart upon you, that could lead to your own happiness and perhaps even the companionship you seek.
First and foremost, despite the irony of my title, I do not believe that romance is the most important thing in our world. It is wonderful, certainly, but it is not everything. Romantic love is only one kind, after all. There is the ability to spread love and joy throughout our friends and our families. The ability to love and appreciate the world around us, and the many wonderful things that fill it. Beauty is all around us, but having a narrow perspective will make you blind to it. To focus on only one kind of love closes you off from all the other magnificent things that make life worth living! So perhaps, a simple step to feeling less bitter is to simply put less emphasis on the concept of romantic love, itself.
Secondly, one of the traits commonly found to be the most attractive is confidence, and comfort with oneself. Perhaps, if you find yourself glaring at happy couples, thinking of how you would want to slip one of them a love potion just to get a taste of that affection, this is a piece of advice you should take to heart. This is a bitter pill to swallow, but what you’re feeling is envy, which stems from your own insecurities within yourself. If this is a concept you struggle to accept, ask yourself this – do you find someone who actively desires to destroy the love around them, because they do not love themselves enough to be alone, attractive? Alongside that, do not love yourself purely to draw others in – love yourself because it feels good, and it is one of the most healthy things to be able to be content with your own company. Take the time to think about what you appreciate about yourself, and put a spotlight on those things, instead. Allow yourself to flourish and shine, and on top of others being naturally drawn in, you will grow to be happy with yourself – which is infinitely more important.
The only thing that could possibly be better than loving oneself, is the ability to be able to celebrate the happiness of those around you, which brings me to my third point. Do not let the sight of other people’s relationships bring you those feelings of animosity and indignation – this only proves that you suffer from a lack of emotional stability, for you are not only unwilling to be happy for the romance around you, but you resent it. While I am sympathetic that seeing romance after something, perhaps heartbreak or during an unhappy relationship, can stirr feelings that are laced with venom, you should not feed these feelings into your everyday life. Acrimony is an illness that will poison your heart, and only make you more unfit for true romance.
All in all, as we approach the holiday that will fill the castle with reminders of intimacy and endearment, keep these things in mind. Remember that your happiness is most greatly affected by your own perception, and your own ability to actively engage in healthy behaviour and a healthy mindset. To do otherwise is to sabotage oneself.