Ruffled Feathers is the name of the game, giving advice on your lives brings me fame. Although they aren’t so tame, it’s the only thing that keeps myself so vain.
“I have this awful problem. You see, I’m starting to crush on someone who I really shouldn’t. I haven’t told anyone, but it’s been on my mind a bit now. What do I do? Oh, did I mention they’re taken?”
Taken doesn’t mean they are taken. I know from first-hand experience. There would be a ring involved if they were ‘taken’. The nice thing to do is watch how happy they are, how blissful their life is becoming with this other as you sit in the shadows gawking at what could be. This is the non-direct way of handling this, soon you will grow older as they are happier and you will become depressed and start to perform hexes on yourself just to feel something. You will as well end up with 8 cats, 3 toads, an entire owlery, and a few un-wanted rats that lurked in your house and wouldn’t fall for the mouse traps that now join you for dinner. If this is not the future you want then get out of a friend-zone and tell them how you feel. You have nothing now, so what do you have more to lose?
“I’ve been having trouble with another student. They’re threatening me and making me really uncomfortable. My head of house doesn’t take it seriously and I’m scared. What do I do?”
Get proof for your head of house. Simple as that, do some detective work even if there is a bit of setting them up for failure. If this is continuing to be an issue, a little bit of their own potion won’t hurt them if you catch my drift…. -nudge nudge-.
“I think I might be a werewolf, but with everything everyone’s been saying about them, I’m afraid all my friends will hate me if I ask them for advice.”
Dear Cousin Hairy,
I highly doubt you are. You have a couple of options on how to determine this. 1. Were you bit by a werewolf in human or werewolf form? If you honestly don’t know if you are one, then you probably aren’t. Due to the fact that if you didn’t seal the wound with dittany and powdered silver you would have died. Which leaves me to you may or MAY NOT have been bitten by a werewolf in human form. You may have the tendencies of a wolf for rare meat, maybe a few fleas, and smell like wet dog after you come in from a rain shower. If you have said yes to any of this you may have been bitten by someone human form, but you would also remember this as the wound would not heal properly due to werewolf saliva. It would be a scar. It’s either all of that or you are just going through puberty. Good Luck.
“So it turns out, my girlfriend has a rather dangerous right hook- she is a Beater, after all. She broke my nose the other day and since then, I’ve been able to smell colours. What can I do to protect myself from her flying fists of fury in the future?”
Dear Pinky Out,
Smelling colours sounds like she gave you quite the gift. Did you say anything that may have made her swing at you? I would start there and not say those sort of things. If your girlfriend just feels like swinging because she can, I suggest wearing quidditch gear at all times, specifically a keep helmet and maybe a mask. Better safe than sorry with something else broken like your jugular and soon you will be able to taste sounds.
“I’m scared. I have beliefs that most don’t believe in but only a few. I think more people should be scared of the werewolves. There not friendly once in form!”
Dear The Watcher,
No one said for you to go searching for the werewolves. If you keep your nose out of their business, they will keep their snout out of yours. If the human understands how dangerous they are when in werewolf form, they will take precautions each full moon by taking the wolfsbane. When one isn’t on wolfsbane then indeed they can be a dangerous animal. It’s predator verse prey in the end. You cannot blame an animal for performing what is in their nature, just like you cannot be mad at centaurs protecting their territory next to a Bowtruckle protecting theirs. It is in their nature and we as human beings tend to tread over what we do not understand since we are not one in the same as them. Put yourself in their paws/hooves for a moment and think about what is in their nature. Maybe your ideals will change about it all.
“I want to be a better snogger. I snogged a girl once and she growled. It made me nervous. I’ve tried practicing with my hand, but it doesn’t give any feedback. Please advise.”
You have some real quaffles to be plastering your name on this question. I am pretty sure this alone will have girls wanting to help you practice. You can always put out an advertisement as well for girls to help you snog, that way you have a variety of chocolates you can taste. In the great words of Forbidden Forest Grumpy, “Snogs are like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get.” I believe how the saying goes. Some snogs have a sense of filling to them as well, just make sure they brush their teeth beforehand and you won’t have to taste that then.