Hang your feelings on a wall. Hang your feelings big and tall. Hang your feelings up and down, hang there and all around.
The way you see yourself and the way others see you can be quite different. For example, you may see yourself as a three-armed swamp creature which trails slime and would be better suited to remaining under thick layers of mud, but other people see you as a six-legged mutant centipede which drips venom and would be better suited to remaining under several large and immovable rocks.
Do you know what the moons mean? Like the stars, they contain important truths, truths you would do well to heed. Pay mind to their movements going forwards.
You and cucumber tea sandwiches have quite a bit in common this week. If you were to eat them, it might be considered cannibalism.
The stars advise me that you’ve been partaking in some unsavoury activities these last few weeks. Generally, that’s fine, but lately you’d do well to cut back. The days we’re in the midst of don’t mix well with bad personal conduct.
Scars are more than skin deep. Sometimes they mean something about the person who wears them. Not just what they’ve been through, but what they’ll do in the future. If someone close to you wears scars, you may want to learn more about them.
I hear dance club is a wonderful place to be. You should go sometime. Not that I’m a shill for the dance club. No ballerina ever tiptoed up and stuck a galleon in my cloak on the condition that I tell you to go. I was not approached by a man wearing tapshoes and instructed to lead you to his locations. You’re being told to go entirely of my own will and volition, not as part of some horrible scheme involving you, an elaborate modern number, the mamba, and a real life mamba.
You are enough.
Disappointment lingers thick around you, like a layer of bitter frosting across a half-rotten cake. What could you have done to change this result?
[This horoscope contains the results you most wanted to see this week. Please insert whatever comforting, wonderful message you wish in this location. Ignore the fact that the stars did not say that and would never say that to you. Suppress your feelings of hopelessness and do not wallow in the self-loathing which accompanies them.]
Purple ink would be the most optimal choice.
The mind of the person you love most is like the department of mysteries lately. Inscrutable, unreachable, full of strange, horrible things that you’re not sure you can handle. If you’re feeling brave and you don’t mind losing some sleep, consider delving into what’s bothering them, but if you want your sanity to remain whole, leave them be.