Or, How Best To Manoeuvre Around This Death Trap We Call Home
Or, How to Succeed in Staying Alive Without Really Trying
Or, Banshees, Acromantula, and “Dhampir” (oh my!)
Or, Hey! At Least They’re Not Screaming, Blood-Sucking Giant Spiders All At Once!
Or, I’m Not Dead Yet! Here’s How To Stay That Way!
Article By: Essa Nazari and Michel St. Jours
Photo Courtesy of: Aryiana Novelli
[Editor’s note: Since the writing of this article, we have been made warned that killing a Vampire/Dhampir is against the law. The Owl Post is not responsible for any students’ arrest upon using one of these spells on ‘Elliot’]
With everything that has been occurring in Hogwarts the past couple of weeks, it has come to our attention here at the Owl Post that some basic self defense charms would come in handy for our readers. I’ve heard people asking for help and ideas as to how to protect themselves from the monsters so we’re going to break these down by year make it easier and hopefully provide some amount of safety in the castle–at least until everything can calm back down again.
So, besides practical advice such as purchasing banshee-resistant earmuffs in an attractive colour (preferably blue!), traveling in groups (safety comes in larger numbers), and avoiding large menacing holes in courtyards, here are a few suggestions.
First years, the youngest of the castle, however, despite all this you do have some rather useful spells to make use of.
- Alohomora and Colloportus (the unlocking and locking spell for those who are still trying to remember what each name means) that will come in handy if you need to make a quick escape. [Note: does not work on the castle gates and outside doors; sorry guys!]
- Red sparks and Green sparks spells which will work if you are outside and are in need of some help (and remember help will always come for those who ask for it here at Hogwarts.)
- Other spells that are handy from the first year include the full body-bind curse (petrificus totalus), leg-locker curse (locomotor mortis), and my personal favorite, the knock-back jinx (flipendo).
Second years, you are no longer the babies of the castle! Congratulations! However, you still have a long way to go. Here is the tips of spells that you have or will learn this year.
- Work on perfecting the later first year spells
- The trip jinx, Immobulus, and Everte Statum (only use this if your life is in danger! It hurts! Trust me!) will be useful for trying to buy some extra time.
- A handy spell to remember if we ever come up against the acromantulas again is: arania exumai. Down right handy thing to know.
- Also, we can’t forget the favorite spell of everyone. Expelliarmus. This spell will disarm someone if they are coming at you with a weapon. Unfortunately, this is one of the last spells that you’ll learn in the second year so it will be fairly unpredictable for you.
Third years, luckily being a bit older you have a fair few useful spells to get you out of any tough spots.
- If you find yourself in a dangerous situation, the Amplifying Charm, Sonorus, can help you alert others in the castle of the danger and help professors come help you sooner. Not to mention it may help scare off any attackers. (Just ask Essa.)
- Ebublio Jinx will also be useful because you can use it to entrap your attacker. This will bubble is unpoppable with a physical force. This will not only prevent them from attacking you but will buy you time to get away. (Not to mention it is rather fun to watch the person be floating around in…)
- Alarte Ascendare can help launch an attacking creature into the air, allowing you time to escape if you aren’t experienced enough to defeat it.
- The Blindfolding Charm (Obscuro) can also be very helpful to disorientate an attacker so you may flee.
- Ventus is a good jinx for putting space between yourself and your attacker, conjuring a forceful gust of wind to send them flying back away from you.
Fourth years, there are a lot of spells that can be used in a defensive manner and these should help you get out of a tight spot.
- The Sardine Hex (Sardini Faciem) From what I have read will cause Sardines to come out of your attacker’s nose. If that doesn’t slow them down nothing will!
- Pimple Jinx (Furnuculus) will give your target stinging boils. This should distract them long enough to get you out of there.
- Ascendio and descendo both will be handy. Ascendio lifts the caster up into the air and away from danger. While descendo will lower the target away from you.
- Salvio Hexia is our first real defensive spell, unfortunately it is at the end of the year so try it at your own risk. It acts like a shield from what I understand.
- Considering the toothy nature of our latest attack I would suggest using a good Switching Spell (Verum Permuto) to swap any nasty fangs with some tasty wine gums.
Fifth year is a very good level for self-defence; this year you will learn tons of helpful spells to assist you if attacked, such as:
- Levicorpus. Use this spell to dangle your attacker in the air by their ankles. Funny and effective.
- Mobilicorpus. This is more for the aftermath rather than for self-defence. You can use this spell to levitate unconscious or incapacitated victims to the Hospital Wing quickly and easily.
- The Jelly-Legs Jinx (Locomotor Wibbly) will rather comically make your attackers legs as useful as a chocolate teapot, making them wobble around like jelly.
- Conjunctivitis. This is a curse so I do not put it here lightly; if you are attacked by creatures who possess a magical ability to resist spells, for instance dragons with their almost impenetrable hides, this curse will cause immense damning pain to the eyes which often are the most vulnerable place to hit a creature.
- Stunners will be your new best friend when you are in danger. A quick casting of Stupefy will stun your attacker and hopefully put them out of action for a long while. If your aim is a bit off and someone else is caught in the line of fire, Rennervate is a useful counterspell for sixth years.
- Impedimenta is great for chases and fleeing from an attack as it can slow down your attacker for about ten seconds, allowing you a head start.
- Shield Charms such as Protego are optimal for defending an assault of hexes, jinxes, and curses, however many do not realise they can create a physical barrier between yourself and an attacker. How long they last can depend on your intent and your experience however I would suggest presuming the shield will not last and start making a run for it once you have cast.
Sixth year students also have a wealth of more advanced defensive spells.
- The Reductor Curse (Reducto) can be helpful in causing destruction to either maim, injure, or distract your attacker so you can escape.
- Expulso will do as above but with a lot more destruction, creating an immense explosion.
- The Oppugno Jinx (Oppugno) will send objects flying at your opponent, especially useful if you have some rubble left after trying the Reductor or Expulso Curses.
- Confundo can befuddle and distract your attacker so you can attempt to escape.
- If an attack is ongoing you can use Protego Totalum to set up a safe, shielded area for those less capable of defending themselves to stay until the attacker is neutralised.
- Ossio Dispersiums, while unpleasant, is practical if cast upon the attacker’s leg as it will leave them immobilised with only one working leg.
Seventh years will find the following advance spells quite helpful in a dangerous situation.
- The Bedazzling Hex (Obscurum Absolutio) and Disillusionment Charm (Veliusridicule) can hide yourself from the attackers vision, allowing you to easily escape or attack the attacker without them realising.
- Muggle-Borns will like the Shooting Spell (Jaculor) as it has an effect rather like that of a “BB gun”. Non-fatal but still pretty painful.
- We’ve had banshees, acromantula, and what I have been told is a “dhampir” (oh my!), so we should hope Dementors will not be added to that mix. Weirder things have happened so get practising your Patronus Charms. Not to mention, it would be nice to concentrate on some happy memories.
- Protego Maxima will create an almost impenetrable barrier; use this if you find yourself defending many younger years as it would be best to get them out of harm’s way as quickly as possible.
So far we have faced three separate enemies, together as a school. It’s critical to understand what it is that we’re facing. And might even have an idea of what we might face in the future.
- According to the Defense Against the Dark Art’s textbook a banshee is, “is a Dark creature native to Ireland and Scotland. Banshees have the appearance of women and their cries are fatal to anyone that hears them.” The text states that a laughing potion is useful against them because they seem to feed on grief. Banshees have the appearance of a woman with floor length black hair, a skeletal face, and green skin.
- Overgrown spiders that like to eat flesh and are venomous. They are a pain in the…well you get the idea to kil. The only known spell to hurt them is arania exumai (second years, I’m looking at you!) Also a good Bombarda will work if they are weakened. (Ask Emily Neutron about this.)
- This is a half vampire. Not much is known about them and the DADA book is extremely unhelpful. Best bet is to find a way to separate yourself from it. And Professor Strix suggests using fire spells on it or even possibly carrying salt in your pocket. She also suggests traveling in groups of at least three students. [Reminder from the editor once again: DO NOT KILL THE VAMPIRE! YOU WILL BE ARRESTED!]
Remember the goal with these spells and information is two part. First, to get you, our dear readers, to safety. And secondly, to get help. Always remember that a former headmaster once said, “Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.”