By Saffron Foxclaw
There’s honestly only so much your Head Girl, and Editor of The Owl Post, can do when faced with the Ravenclaw Head of House landing a slap on the face of a new professor at the end of their first lesson, apart from gently coax them out the room… Oh, and get her claws into the gossip.
The only good that came from Dorchester’s reign at Hogwarts last year was that your writer develop an endless panache for wearing her uniform with flair and style, definitely something the Head Girl inherited from her predecessor. Plain black trousers and a well fitted shirt had never looked quite so good, but I digress. Equally well dressed was Professor Juniper Green, Head of Ravenclaw House, dazzling redhead in a very candy themed dress and stunning high heels. Those high heels did not bode well as she entered the Dueling Classroom with a smile that struck fear into the hearts of all Ravenclaws present.
“That’s for my husband,”
she hissed along with the crack of a hand.
The word ‘husband’ incited whispers like flames to dry wood… Or something to that effect… And your writer, likely Professor Green’s favourite student, leapt to her feet and gently escorted her out the room.
And here’s the scoop, the bombarda of the term; Professor Green requests she still be referred to as Green despite her new legal surname being Owsley-Green.
Yes. You read that correctly. On July 30th 2023 Professors Green and Owsley tied the knot in what was reported to be a touching handfasting ceremony. If your writer understood correctly, Professor Green had given Professor Owsley two weeks to prepare himself for the announcement of their marriage to the school, however, I don’t feel he expected it to be discovered in such an explosive manner.
Eventually, your reporter got a sit down interview with the both of them to quiz them on their nuptials, honeymoon, future, and more.
Without bothering to tread the water carefully, your reporter plunged into the deep end, head first, and tackled those rumours of a suspected rift between Professors Green and Priaulx over Professor Owsley. If rumours were to be believed both professors had a marked interest (and distaste) in the same professor.
“I don’t think there really was any amniosity, she was at the wedding actually. We had to hold it a tad bit later in the day just so she wasn’t a walking Inferi but she seemed to take it well. That is, if she had any issues with it, I wasn’t aware of any.”
Apparently Professor Priaulx was bridesmaid for Professor Green. Despite the fact it was a small affair, they apparently had a wonderful time;
“The wedding was gorgeous, we honeymooned in Bermuda. Arklin wasn’t very fond of the sand like I was.”
Our lovely potions professor was slightly more talkative, and positively giggly, every now and again shooting glances to the silent charms professor. I moved on to ask what was their most memorable moment of the day, Professor Green answered this for the both of them, again.
“Seeing his face when he first saw me in the dress. That moment you know it’s love, right? Of course the moment we said ‘I will’ was memorable as well. For me though, it was the look on his face.”
Soppy and lovey dovey moments aside, your writer went back to the nitty gritty of things. We previously published an article, written by The Raven Quill, discussing the merits and issues with Professors Green and Owsley seeming to have similar tastes in punishing their respective houses. Maybe The Raven Quill really does have an eye for the future (or maybe it was just a plain lucky article) however I proceeded to question if there was any truth behind the article and if they see it as a negative thing that their methods to improve the school are being based on punishment. Professor Green scoffed at the accusation;
“Hardly negative. Houses should influence each other. If they fear more house detentions, wouldn’t they try to keep each other in line as well as themselves? I think The Raven Quill should perhaps focus less on the punishments and more so on how to avoid them. United but not Divided is how Ravenclaw will be ran this year.”
If that’s not a statement of marital and school unity, I don’t know what is. Without aiming to pry any further than necessary, your undaunted writer got in one last question.
“So… any final words on ‘the slap?’”
“Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Don’t slap someone’s husband if you can’t deal with the consequences of getting slapped yourself. That’s all I will say on the matter.”
Professor Owsley seems to be a man of very few words when around his beloved, I did, however, address this and ask if he wanted to add any further comment to the interview. His response?