It looks like someone left this week’s horoscopes lying around the Owl Post offices and our founder, and editor-in-chief, got their hands on it
Aries: Mar. 21 – Apr. 19
It’s been nothing but rain, and life seems to be going in a full downpour for you. Try to find something to do to be your umbrella. Go for a walk, maybe grab that candy you’ve been hoarding for months, and try to think of the positives. Like you’re positive there will be gruel for dinner tonight.
Taurus: Apr. 20 – May 20
Sometimes your advice and opinions aren’t wanted despite your best intentions. Maybe take a step back and look at yourself (admittedly you’re probably far thinner due to the gruel) but ask yourself if you like what you see. Contentedness may hide within.
Gemini: May 21 – June 20
Despite the fact that other’s mediocre work annoys you and other’s trollish tendencies rub you up the wrong way, you can be reassured that your work is appreciated by those closest to you. You are the rock of consistency, akin to the gruel at dinner, it’s always there.
Cancer: June 21 – July 22
You better get ready, someone might be in the mood to Duel. Stretch out those little wand phalanges and make sure you have a good few shields up and ready for anything. Don’t forget to stretch! Almost like this gruel is stretching over the weeks.
Leo: July 23 – Aug. 22
You’re brave, and heroic, but let’s save some of that heroic for muggle films. Don’t stand up to any authority figures this week! Surely you won’t have the outcome you’re hoping for! Might end up with more gruel than you wanted.
Virgo: Aug. 23 – Sept. 22
Getting upset is sometimes normal. This week might bring those ups and downs pretty often for you, dear Virgo. Be careful on who you talk with, and keep your friends closer than normal and try to relax. You may just lose a few if you move with trepidation.You might also want to stay away from the Gruel.
Libra: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22
Your heart is the most important thing in your life, let the people who are near and dear nurture your kind spirit. Those who look upon you with scorn or derision are not worthy of your attention. Don’t be afraid to trust those you have always trusted. Just don’t trust the gruel.
Scorpio: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21
When life throws you lemons you just have to accept the fact you’ll be having gruel with a dash of lemon. Sometimes life isn’t about compromise and it can leave a sour taste in your mouth.
Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21
Don’t let the man get you down. Bring out your inner dragon and give them all you’ve got. Or..you know..put that effort towards your homework. Either way, give it 110%! You’ve got it in you! Unlike the good food we used to have at this school…
Capricorn: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19
I’m sorry. Just…Yeaaaah, I’m sorry.
Aquarius: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
Never have you been more important in your life than you are going to be this coming week. Everyone already knew you were something big, now’s your chance to really reign it in and show them what you’ve got. Flaunt that flirty smile and wiggle those hips a bit extra, This week will be a great…even if each night is followed by gruel for dinner.
Pisces: Feb. 19 – March 20
Maybe it’s time you had a little party. Lighten the mood, bribe a few house elves, and try to not think about all the negativity (or the gruel)… Also invite all your friends, especially Libras. They host the best parties.