There is a lingering smell of citrus around the pile of this week’s edition of ‘The Owl Post’… Even the copy you pick up smells faintly orange-y… Maybe you should read it somewhere warm?
We live in a world of dangerous beasts which cannot be controlled, and at times such beasts must be put down. That is my job. Mordred Morebid, and I’m an executioner of the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures, a part of the Ministry of Magic’s Beast Division.
I think my job is pretty self explanatory, though for those Hufflepuff readers of more dense minds, I execute dangerous magical creatures that are decided to be a threat to the wizarding world. A student gets mauled in Care of Magical Creatures, I take care of it.
It is a very rewarding job and perhaps the best one within the Ministry of Magic. After all, it is entirely my job to put an end to problems, without the politics one must endure otherwise. As said politics are dealt with before coming my way, it is a simple manner of sharpening my axe and relieving the world of the threat.
Thus far I have managed the disposal of 3,964 dangerous creatures ranging from Hippogriffs to the occasional feral werewolf, though that one did involve a mighty long court case on whether I should have been the one to deal with such a beast or if… it was a matter of imprisonment. Bah. We have labeled werewolves as beasts while in wolf form and as such it was my jurisdiction to execute, though that is a story for another day.
Now, I am sure you are dying to know how one could achieve such a position as mine. Well, you have probably been told you must have high marks to make it into the Ministry of Magic, let alone the Beast Division. Well for executioner, that is still the case. While one may think it doesn’t take brains to know how to… rid the world of a threat in a manner as I do, but that is simply not the case. It requires quite a bit of know-how, beasts are… terribly tricky, as are those who possess them.
At any rate, I am sure that one or two of you may be able to manage a career as an executioner. For the rest of you, it will be far beyond your intelligence levels, I’m sure. That is all the time I have to waste writing to students now. I have an appointment with a centaur. Beasts by choice. Hah!