by Miss Owlet
Good Day to you all of you wonderful Darlings. I’m Miss Owlet and I will be taking Ruffled Feathers under my wing so to speak. I welcome all questions and I assure you, no matter what you ask of me, I promise to meet your issue with understanding and acceptance of you as the wonderful magical being that you are. My goal is with anything submitted by you my response leaves you feeling heard, valued, and respected.
This moron of a Gryffindor won’t stop harassing me despite the fact I have a boyfriend and he won’t listen to reason. How do I make him leave me alone short of punching him in the face?
A Harangued Ravenclaw
Dear Harangued Ravenclaw,
Pushy boys are never fun. There are a few things you can do that, while they may be cliche, they really do work. First; ignore him. Trust me, I know, I’ve had a friend like that and this trick works wonders on him at least for a few weeks at a time. Second, try spelling it out clearly for him. For example, “This attention from you is unwanted and it needs to stop right now.” Sometimes people need it spelled out in such clear language it may seem stupid but it’s better than earning yourself a detention. My last bit of advice, if none of this works and you’re at your complete wits end. Go to his prefect/head of house. While this may be uncomfortable try to think of it as standing up for your right to be respected. You’ve told him no, you’ve tried ignoring him, anything further and he’s really bringing it on himself.
I can’t do this. Everything is seeming so overwhelming. It’s bad enough that I feel years behind of all of these kids born into magical families, or who have at least been around magic even if they’re half and half, but writing with a quill is so odd, not to mention parchment paper! Help!
An Overwhelmed First Year
Dear Overwhelmed First Year,
Yes, learning to write with a quill can be a bit of a challenge. I would suggest working with your professors. More often than not you’ll find them to be an understanding sort. Don’t forget to breathe and just take a moment to relax every now and then. This is a lot to take on but you are ready for it. Remember hogwarts is a premiere school and YOU were chosen to attend. You can do this.
As for the quill part…There is a muggle device called a calligraphy pen that seems to adapt just fine and many techniques one uses with it apply to working with quills. Also, this holiday break is a perfect time to spend just even 30 minutes a day with a bit of spare parchment and a quill and writing over and over again. Don’t forget to massage your hand a bit to relax your muscles after writing. Eventually your hand will build up it’s muscles and allow you to write without the need for it. Just like with learning to read and write, practice at it everyday will help you become proficient at it.
I think my boyfriend is cheating on me, his friends all look at me like I’m the worst human on earth just because I’m a Slytherin. Should I chalk this up to paranoia or should I ask him?
A Slytherin Sweetheart
Dear Slytherin Sweetheart,
When in a relationship it’s very important to have honest and open communication. You should always tell your boyfriend if you are being treated unfairly by his friends. However, if you’re not sure, ask his friends politely. Perhaps something like, “I’m not sure but lately it feels like there might be an issue between us. I really care about [your boyfriend’s name here] and I’d like to ease any tensions between us if I can so that way there’s no tension for him.”
Sometimes pointing out that you both care about the same guy, albeit in different ways, is the best way to get around an issue. Suggest doing some things as a couple and then when there are times when he wants to go and be with his friends and the ones with an issue with you are there, then that’s a good time to go and be with your friends. If possible do a mixed thing where it’s you and your boyfriend and both of your friends. Though if your friends and his friends don’t get along… then it might be best to keep your couple time only.
Talk to your boyfriend. It’s important that he knows what’s going on. I strongly urge against the it’s me or them ultimatum, however; rarely do they go well.
Now for the cheating part. How his friends treat you does not mean that he’s cheating on you. If you think he’s cheating on you I’d recommend giving yourself some time and asking yourself if you trust him. If he’s doing something that makes you think he’s cheating on you and you trust him. I would ask him for a quiet moment and explain what is causing you concern, reassure you trust him and that you don’t plan on breaking up with him, maybe he’s got a surprise gift for you or a secret trip to Hogsmeade planned?
Now when you have this conversation with him. Be prepared to compromise or do things in steps. Behaviours do not change overnight it takes time and commitment from both parties. It’s important to be supportive of your boyfriend and to still be a stand for yourself. I hope that everything turns out well for you both.
((Submit any questions to Ruffled Feathers via Saffron Foxclaw, cassandramiddles or IthilwenRose)