By: Poe’s Raven
So you’re walking down the hall and all of the sudden you smell that charming smell. And your eyes fall upon that silky hair, and you stare at that perfect face, you see that perfect body. Such grace, such beauty. …
WHAT IN MERLIN’S BEARD ARE YOU DOING?! Walk away you numb nut! That is a veela, and you don’t want to date a veela!
And here’s why:
For one thing, if you’re dating a veela, everyone will ignore you and try to hit on them and that’s just depressing! No matter how good you look, you will never have veela charms if you’re not a veela
And for another, having a veela around is like taking a hit to your self-esteem every time you see them. It’s just not fair!
So how do you avoid them?
Good question! The first rule of thumb is to walk away. Far away!
Then, don’t shower! No one wants to date someone who looks and smells like they live in a box. Although be careful, this may keep away potential suitors of your own. And cause health problems!
Also, try to anger a veela! When they get angry they get all birdlike and creepy harpy looking. Yeah, that should turn you away for sure. Unless your into birds… and then you probably need professional help!
So that’s what you need to know in order to avoid veelas! And above all, remember, it’s not their fault!
Don’t forget to send in any question or suggestions to Ask Poe! And don’t be offended if he doesn’t answer personally, he usually sends me, his raven off to do the dirty work!
-A Letter from the Editor-
Please note that what was said here was meant to be silly with no ill intent. The Veela heritage students at our school are actually some of the friendliest I’ve met in my years here, including my best friend. As my own word of advice, Try to look more deeply than appearances, they might be struggling more than you are when it comes to their heritage and would be happy to have you as their friend. Thank you and send in your questions of advice! -C.R.M.